


Expectations

by PronCat (GnaCat)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, M/M, NOT PWP, be warned, if you don't want to see a serious side of this trope you better not read
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-26
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-02-18 21:21:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 68,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2362568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GnaCat/pseuds/PronCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Jackpot.” Dave almost purrs and you blink. He's kneeling in front of your closet.</p><p>“Guess what, if you wanna hide your wanking material you should put it in a zip lock bag.” he chuckles and you jump up from the bed in time to see Dave effortlessly fishing a magazine out from under a bunch of rolled up socks in an open drawer. He holds it away from himself pinching a corner with two fingers.</p><p>“Tadaa~!” you pale a little in horror, staring into his smug face, your wide open mouth and eyes reflected in his shades.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Strider Stench

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RainingApples](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainingApples/gifts).



> Hi Guys! This is the 10th fanfictions I'm trowing out here and I'm glad I managed to pick your interest yet again! 
> 
> I wanted to try my luck with something alpha/beta/omega-ish and this is the result. I am making up the rules for this one as I like so meh. We'll see. Also, this one ain't just porn (though it's supposed to have some in it) and is supposed to have a beautiful teenage drama growing up background!  
> Archive Warnings might be added with more chapters.  
>  
> 
> Many thanks to my friend and lovely proofreader RainingAppled! :D It's a pleasure working with you!

“Your Birthday is coming up soon, right? Is there... Uh, anything special you want?” You try to make it sound casual, but Dave doesn't react at all. He doesn't even look up from his hand, just studying the cards he has and throws a blue 4 on your blue 1.

You think he might know that that's not the question you _really_ want to ask. Seriously, how can he act so cool about it? He's going to present in a month, isn't he nervous at all? You sigh in frustration, throw him a blue 3 without much thought when he finally makes up his mind and opens his mouth.

“Dunno, really. Think you know that's not the hot topic of 'Dave Today' in Strider-land.” he shrugs and pulls another card from the deck. Slowly he rearranges his now eight cards while you fumble with your last three. You kind of hoped he would bring up that subject on his own and exhale with a little relieve.

“So... Do you think you'll be an alpha? You know, like your brothers. And your Dad. And your Grandfather. And you know. In short, your whole damn family?”

“Why thanks, Egbert, that sure takes the edge out of it.” he scoffs and you swallow, sit back a little, and throw a red 7 on his red 3 a second after he makes his move. You can see his forehead wrinkle ever so slightly in distaste. He hates to lose at UNO, and he can't hide that from you anymore no matter how hard he tries.

You lean back against the headboard of your bed and just grin when he complains from his seat across you, about the way it makes the comforter wrinkle, and how it almost knocks the two stacks of cards over. 

You and Dave have been friends ever since a teacher forced him to help you out with an art project in seventh grade, and despite initial problems, you became _best_ friends only half a year later. You knew him long before that, but never thought Dave would be more than an annoying rich kid to you. Never paid much attention to him, avoided him even. 

Today it's hard to imagine you and Dave could be anything but best friends. And you like to think that you both hope nothing will ever change your relationship. Though, admittedly you do worry about how much time Dave will have for you after he presents as an alpha. From what you remember from Sex-Ed, when you present your libido will go through the roof, and as an alpha Dave's would be... Uh. Working especially well. 

“Dave it doesn't really matter whether you turn out an alpha or a beta. Besides, I actually just wanted to ask if you can already feel something. Like a change, you know? I mean come on, it's obvious you'll turn out an alpha, so don't worry.” you grin mischievously. He just blankly stares you down for a few seconds before he throws his cards down on the blanket.

“Still not helping, man.” he huffs. You raise your brows when he takes your last two cards and actually puts them back into the package.

“Don't tell me you're leaving already.” you let yourself slide down the headboard onto the mattress until your head rests on the pillow while Dave stands up to put the deck away.

“Dude, chill. I'm just bored rigid of UNO is all. Clingy much, Egbert.” a hint of amusement swings in his voice. You roll onto your side and watch his back as he tries to figure out what to do next.

“Pouting because I straight out slaughtered you, you mean.” an impish grin is sprouting on your face. He snorts, still not facing you, and considers several games resting on the shelf. 

“Tch yeah, right. I say it's time to go downstairs and bust out the entertainment system. Seriously, I can't play one-on-one monopoly matches more than twice a month.” he pushes whatever old game he had in hand back into your shelf before he sighs, lifts his hands in defeat, and walks back to you, waiting for you to get up from your bed. You just roll your eyes and yawn, stretch, and then let them fall shut.

He always tries to make it look like these are yours, even though three quarters of the games are his, and over the years he just brought them here one by one. You bet he actually even bought half of these himself specifically to play with you. 

Rose says it's because in his family there's never been anything but fighting and competition, in whatever they do. A big fancy apartment full of young alphas. You can imagine how it wouldn't be much fun to play with them. Or even around them, during certain times of the year.

“C'mon, get your lazy ass downstairs.” he leans froward until his shins press against the bed frame, stopping him from toppling over and onto your stomach, and you sigh in fake exhaustion.

“Video games or movies?”

“Mario Cart. Oldschool.”

“Don't wannaaaaa...” you whine and roll around a few times, tugging your pillow against your chest. Dave makes a slightly amused noise in the back of his throat.

“Wow. Maturity levels are sinking dangerously in this area of the house. Now get up. Entertain me, Egbert. You can't just invite me over and fall asleep on me that's rude, where are your manners? Didn't you just express your despondence over me leaving already? Take some fucking responsibility and. Get. Up.” he leans forward to nudge a fist against your shoulder and you bury your face in your pillow with a loud grown. He tagged along on his own, you didn't invite him, not that you minded in the least but hey. 

You decide you won't react to him and just see how far you can push it. Much like you Dave isn't exactly the most patient guy, but other than you he won't admit to it, so these kind of tug o' war games usually turn out to be pretty fun.

“You better get your ass out of the bed dude, or I'll find way to entertain myself without it. And even though I wouldn't mind, considering I'm plenty capable of the task and I'll have my fun either way, we both know that you don't want that.” he is being an dick and you groan, flip him the bird, and just in that moment he decides to try and pull your pillow away. Probably to try and beat you up with it like the naughty college girl he truly is deep in his heart.

“Stand up. Now. Even if I'm imperturbability incarnate I won't stand for your shit today, so up you go. Rise from the fucking fluffy face cushion and provide me the promised entertainment.” he almost hums teasingly and you grunt as you slap his hands away from your pillow. Future Alpha or not, who does he think he is to order you around like that?

“Dave, I didn't promise shit. Go entertain yourself!” you reply with a groan and do your best to sound annoyed, but you can hardly hide the laughter trailing after the angry little huff, followed by a moment of suspicious silence. You are tempted to blink and see what he's doing, but before you can decide on it you hear him moving around the room whistling.  
He must know that that's kinda fishy. And the fact that he didn't take long to decide on what to do to get back at you is indeed a little bit worrying.

You know he's trying to get a rise out of you but like hell are you going to give him the satisfaction. He can do what he wants, you won't get up. Now that you're lying here, all cuddled up and getting comfy, you actually start to feel a little tired. You were up all night finishing that presentation for American history. Damn your perfect bed. You might actually nod off.

“Jackpot.” Dave almost purrs and you blink. He's kneeling in front of your closet. “Guess what, if you wanna hide your wanking material you should put it in a zip lock bag.” he chuckles and you jump up from the bed in time to see Dave effortlessly fishing a magazine out from under a bunch of rolled up socks in an open drawer. He holds it away from himself, pinching a corner with to fingers.

“Tadaa~!” you pale a little in horror, staring into his smug face. Your wide open mouth and eyes reflected in his shades.

“Oh my f- STRIDER!” You can't help the sudden blush creeping into your cheeks when he wriggles his eyebrows and attempts to open it. “Now let's see what gets your rocks off, shall we?” you dash forward before he even finished the sentence, desperately trying to slap it out of his hand, rip it away from him!

“Chill Egbert, just gonna check what took away all that motivation I know and love.”

“Strider!” he has turned around, blocks you off with his back and holding the magazine out in front of you both, you almost have it! You're roughly the same height and build, so he has to struggle to stay in control as he opens the damn thing. You're gonna die from shame!

“That's... surprisingly tame.” He muses and he seems slightly disappointed when you drop your arms and turn away from him with an annoyed moan. Doesn't make any sense to hide shit anymore now, so you go to sit back down on the bed and watch him flip through it, brows slowly drawing together. Against your expectations that kind of stays the only comment he makes though.

“So? What's wrong with tame?” you finally spit out and he just flips another page, and even though you can't make out any changes in his expression you think his posture changed.

“Nothing. I just always assumed. You know. Quiet waters... I expected something kinkier.” he shrugs and you puff a laugh.

“You expected?? You thought about what your BFF jerks it to?” you quip and he half smirks at the term 'bff'.

“You don't?” he quips right back and flicks another page over. And even though his head doesn't move, and his stupid sunglasses are in the way, you just know he is observing your face and trying to be subtle about it. 

“... Not really? Why?” you're not really sure what he wants from you here, but he shrugs again and after a few more pages he stops abruptly, considering it for a moment. He seems confused with something, turning a few more pages back and forth, and before you know it you watch in horror as he uses a scratch and sniff patch and lifts it to his face, takes a quick whiff.

“You didn't just do that!” your breath get's caught somewhere in your throat as he lowers the glossy magazine, presses his tongue against the back of his teeth curling his lips ever so slightly and sucking a sharp breath in. His brows knit even deeper as he stares back into the magazine and you know he lets the taste that comes with the smell roll over his tongue. He seems almost angry and you have no idea why. If anything, _you_ should be angry with _him_! It's bad enough that he looks at this stuff --your stuff-- in your presence, it's really awkward, but sniffing the patches you use to get yourself high and hot is definitely a giant fucking violation of your privacy that you're SO not okay with!

“Dude, that's alpha pheromones.” Dave clears his throat and doesn't even look up. Face trained down on the magazine.

“Strider-”

“This is the most used patch in this whole thing, Egbert. What the fuck.” that's... That's not surprise in his voice and you roll your eyes, directing your attention to the lamp on your nightstand. 

“So what.” you huff with a shrug and he stares at you for a long moment, you can see it out of the corner of your eye, and you don't know why. There is nothing wrong with liking strong, dominant women. Nothing at all. The striking natural redhead on that page just happens to be an alpha. You don't see a big deal. You're embarrassed nonetheless.

You hear a few pages being flipped before he looks at the cover, scoffs, and goes back to sniff that same pheromone patch again. His face twists up into something you can't quite describe. There is an enormous distaste he's trying to hide but can't quite mask up, and it almost looks like he has to force him self to take another whiff before he suddenly throws the thing across the room, effectively sending you cursing and flinching as if you'd want to jump and catch it In time. It lands crumbled on the other side of the room.

“Shit! What the fuck is wrong with you! Can you not throw my stuff around?! Thank you ve-”

“Dude you've been jerking it to my brother's scent.”

“... what?”

“Pff. Please Egbert, you know Bro is in that industry. That lil scratch n sniff you're so crazy about with that busty redhead? Yeah that's my Bro's pheromones on that patch, dude. No mistaking it.”

“Aw come on Dave, that's not funny. How would _you_ know?”

“A strong stench of musk with a hint of black licorice underlined with something fresh lemony. I came home into a cloud of that often enough, and you should have noticed it too. I'm actually shocked you didn't realize this earlier. Despite my effort to keep you away from my place when my brothers go into heat, which mind you is a shit ton of effort to bring up with three older brothers, you were over often enough when Bro came either out of his room, or just home from some casual fuck and was pretty much oozing it out of every pore, and-” he stops, seems about to gag for a second, and you kind of understand why. 

You wouldn't want to smell your Dads 'sexy' pheromones either. Luckily your Dad is a beta, so the smell isn't strong. It doesn't stick around for long or even gets caught in any fabric. You can easily avoid running into that when you pay a little attention. Dave on the other hand...

He grew up surrounded by a bunch of alphas, and not only can you smell them on his clothes whenever he comes close to you, but the few times you went over to Dave's place and he let you actually in even you found it hard to breathe at times, since all three of the older Striders, David, Bro, and Dirk, leave their mark all over the apartment. You don't even have to sit down there, they don't even have to be there, 10 minutes are enough and they stick to your clothes like they do to Dave's.

Last time you went there about half a year ago, and even though you found it unpleasant and kind of disturbing before, back then you kind felt … weird, and it creeped you out good when _you_ noticed that _they_ noticed it. When you asked Dave he happily agreed to stop going to his place altogether, and now you only meet up outside or in your house. You can't imagine how it must be for Dave to live in such thick air. 

And since Dave will be an alpha soon, there is no mistaking about that, it makes sense that he wouldn't be comfortable with the thick pheromones of his brothers in the air. Only spurs on his own competitiveness, you guess. Huh.

Dave groans at your lack of reaction to what he probably considers shocking news, and turns around to pick up the magazine he just flung around. You jump from the bed before he even starts to look for the page and, again, try to wrestle it out of his hands.

“Okay, you know what?? You had enough! Give me that!” you rasp out and reach around Dave.

“Yeah, No.” he grunts and you hear the paper tear before you see it and he has the glossy corner with the the scratch and sniff patch in his hand, shoving the rest of the magazine against your chest, pushing you out of the way, and quickly leaves your room.

A little shocked you jump after him, you don't have the mind to put the indecent pleasure paper aside first. He rounds the corner to the bathroom and you can hear the toilet flush before you even reach the door. You stop dead in your tracks. He wouldn't really be that upset about this thing, right? Isn't that a little extreme? Somewhere in the back of your head you're sure there must be some hidden ironic reason for this that you just don't get. A joke you didn't catch on. But it really isn't funny.

After washing his hands, sniffing them a few times while leaving the bathroom to make sure the despised smell of his brother's pheromones has been mostly replaced by that of soap, Dave pats your shoulder and guides you back to your room. He is shoving you a little more than you think is necessary.

“Don't worry Egbert. We all make mistakes.”

“Me? What the fuck did _I_ do wrong? You're the one who goes through my shit without permission and tears it apart. Rude by the way.”

“Just seal your porn up properly, because seriously, dude, when I can smell that thing in your closet I bet so can your Dad.”

“Gross.” you feel your heart rate pick up from the indignation before you brush his offending hand off and give him a push. Trying not to sound sour at all you tell him to wait downstairs while you put the magazine back.

It's not like you didn't know there was a certain inviting scent coming from the pages, that for now wander back under your socks and will be zip locked appropriately after Dave leaves. It's just... You kind of assumed it was a little too faint for someone who didn't know about it to pick up on. It's hard to imagine your Dad placing a basket with fresh laundry on your bed, knowing exactly why you told him you'd want to put your stuff away yourself now. Shit.

You straighten out a few very crumbled pages and briefly press the cover to your face, taking a quick whiff of the aroma and sigh as you realize there is something missing now. There was a reason why that patch was so used and that was not the red head, Ramona, no matter how sexy she is. She was just a great extra, so to speak.  
It's probably good it's gone now. You could never use it without thinking of who the scent really belongs to ever again. And you doubt the euphoria would ever be the same, now that you know the truth. Still, it would have been worth the try. 

*

When you come downstairs Dave is lounging idly on the couch. He hasn't even turned the TV on and just seems to stare blankly at the black of the screen. He doesn't move when you flop down next to him and it's kind of awkward when he sniffs his hands again.

“Dave?”

“Yup?”

“... are you... mad?” there is a long pause before he shrugs and huffs a short laugh.

“Nah. Sorry.” it's weird to hear him apologize. That's not a thing happening all that often. Much less with such honesty.

“We all make mistakes.” you hum and he chuckles and bumps your shoulder. You don't even know why he said that earlier, probably tried to downplay his little freak out (and that's totally what it was!) by blaming it on you, but you bet he sure didn't expect to get it thrown back into his smug face so fast. He's such a loser. Hehe.

“That's just kind of the last thing I want up my nose when I'm here. Had to get rid of it.”

“I could have put it in a zip lo-”

“HA, you really would have continued to use that even knowing that is not just not a woman, but on top of that my damn brother?”

“Daaave.” you groan with a hint of exhaustion, but he keeps his usual cool.

“Egbert.”

“... I might have. But I wouldn't have thought about Bro if that is any consolation.” you harrumph and he takes a deep breath as if to calm himself.

“John, you're-” Another deep breath and he bites the inside of his cheek. You can't help the little laughter bubbling up, despite seeing that Dave is clearly tense and struggling with something here, but come on. Dave not being able to find the right words is pretty funny. And Ironic.

“Hehehe. Dude, are you getting an alpha thing?”

“.... No. Let's not talk about that, okay?” 

“Oh my god, you are! You see this as your place and think of Bro as a rival!”

“I'm not, that's ridiculous. Am I a dog or something? Oh snap, what if I really am? What if I never really talked and actually just bark and shit and just deceived myself to protect my fragile teenage dog-mind? Wait, shit, 16 is really fucking old for a dog, isn't it? So actually I am way past my prime and never got to enjoy my fucking youth. Fuck, that's kinda sad. Why did you have to raise my awareness to the fact bro, I was happy the way things were.” he rambles but your grin only grows wider.

“Man, we had that in Sex-Ed, don't try to deny it! You are defending your territory! O M Geh! Little Davey is finally growing up, I'm so proud of you!” you try to pitch your voice as high as you can force it without it breaking and mock squeal in excitement. The only reaction you get for the effort is his usual deadpan though.

“Are you sure you want to go down that road, Egbert? Because if you are we'll have a serious heart to heart and all that shit. With bro cuddles, tears, snot, and everything. You think you can handle that?”

“OOOOOH MY GOD so you really think I'm yours like- I don't know Dave, I think I feel kind of honored! Am I part of your chosen pack? Are you gonna piss against the wall and mark your territory now? What about Dad, is he yours too? What should I do Dave? Do I need to submit to you now? Bare my throat to you when we greet and stop looking at other alphas? Hehehe. You are so super jea~lous!” you tease and actually flinch when one of his hands shoots up to grab your shoulder hard, pulls you just an inch or two towards him. Not much, but enough to startle you.

“Fuck so what if I am?” in a split second he turns to face you, and somehow suddenly that's a little too close for your liking and you lean back.

“...You are?”

“I've been going in and out of this place for the last 5 years almost daily now, you're my fucking best friend, my bropanion, my bromigo, my bromrade, my god damn bromosabe, my-"

"I get it, Dave." you interrupt but don't manage to break his flow in the slightest. He continues in the same breath.

"What I'm trying to say is we are having some sweet bromance going on. What the everloving fuck is wrong with not wanting to share that with the three assholes who are claiming everything I own? I don't have _one_ thing that smells like me, or just like itself, and you're pretty much the only thing I have that's not defiled by Strider-” he bites his tongue and lets his head fall back against the headrest of the couch. “Strider-stench.”

“It's not that bad Dave. And next month you'll have your own and then-”

“Then I'll have my own Strider-stench.”

“I'm sure it won't be that bad Dave. It's probably gonna be really cool, and-”

“Dude, stop. If I get my own odor you'll start to smell like me just by hanging around me, and that thought just- It really sucks.” he sighs and you worry a brow in response.

“Hey, didn't you just say you want something that smells like you?”

“I know what I said it's... shit. Ahhhh shit.” he lifts both hands to rub his eyes under the sunglasses, exhausted.

“...Hey...” you feel his head fall onto your shoulder and you're not sure what else to say. You don't really understand what his issue is in the first place.

“I don't know, maybe I have some kind of shit Peter Pan complex. Just. Don't you find it unnerving how much will change from then on? No more UNO, no more video games, and no more Netflix sleepovers. Instead we get a whole lot of awkward sniffing on people, and sudden awkward boners and horniness, and hyper awareness of every little move we make. And even worse, because of that everyone can smell instantly when you're digging someone. No secrecy. All the hard earned coolness starts from zero. Childhood goodbye. The good days are over.”

“Dude that's just not true. Your brothers are still playing games and doing their own stuff, and I promise you that we'll still play UNO. Whenever you come over, okay?” he doesn't answer and you think he becomes heavier against your shoulder, leaning onto for more support. You're not sure if it's a conscious reaction.

“Heh... Come on, Dave. How the hell did you get so negative about this, I thought you were kinda pumped? Man, just think about the good stuff.” you lean in to half whisper in his hair. “You'll get laid.” he flinches and rubs a hand over his neck.

“Yeah, you see, _you_ might think that's a good thing, but I don't think you informed yourself right. When I present as an alpha I'll have one or two months before I go into my first heat, and even though it means I'll have massive game with whoever reacts to my pheromones, I'll simultaneously have very little self control, and probably get myself into dangerous situations and- ... You're gonna turn out a beta, like your dad, so you don't have to worry about going into heat, and territorial behavior bullshit, and possessiveness, and urges.”

“Hey I have urges too you know? What do you think that magazine is for?”

“Oh yeah? Don't fuck with me bro. This and that is as different as a half empty bag of motherfucking Doritos is from 8-bit covers of European 90s underground music. Don't even try to compare it.”

“Uh, what?” 

“Exactly. Dude, did you ever do you homework for this subject? Just because you'll probably turn out a beta doesn't mean you're not obligated to learn about the other two. Look forward to your step into adulthood all you want, but don't expect the same from me. I'll become all aggro, and horny, and insufferable, and I sure as fuck won't play one-on-one monopoly with you anymore, and instead just think about getting my dick wet all day long. I won't be able to sit next to you any more either. That sucks...”

“Pffff, uh no? Come on Dave, why wouldn't you be able to sit next to me anymore, you're not making any sense. Do you hear yourself talking?” you laugh and promptly receive a punch in the ribs.

“How can you be so fucking oblivious, what if I do something to you?? Dude my fucking hormones could ruin our friendship, don't try to downplay that. Serious heart to heart, remember? Respect my genuine worry, or feel my wrath.” he sighs deeply and the silence returns. A lot more uncomfortable this time.  
You regret a little that you invited this kind of conversation, but on the other hand you think this has been haunting his mind for a while now, and it's probably good he could talk about it? You guess it would be weird to talk to Rose about this, even if he's close to her and she'd probably be able to give him much better advise. Maybe you should ask her about it next time you see her alone.

“Okay Egbert. Now that I think about it let's go upstairs, bust out the fucking Tumblin' Monkeys, or the Game Of Life. Hell, I'd even go for some checkers, just pick something.”

“Daaaave, don't get so hung up about this, do you need me to get you a glass of water or something? We'll always play board games like the losers we truly are. Doesn't matter whether you'll become the popular neighborhood alpha or not. Even as old men well meet up for a round of Cluedo. Calm down. Deep slow breaths, man.”

“Yeah, go ahead make fun of my most secret fears, way to treat your best buddy, man. But I'll tell you again, my heat will ruin our friendship, my instincts will kick in and I'll go crazy on you.”

“Duh, no you won't? Like- I haven't presented yet, I smell like nothing to you? I'm in no way a target for anything or anyone, so why the fuck would I be worried about something like that?”

“Naive. You'll present in half a year and even before that you smell like- _enough_. Like skin, and soap, and deodorant, and a hint of sweat. And then the scent caught in the fabric of your clothes, like the baked goods littered all over your otherwise sterile kitchen, and very faintly like your rose laundry detergent, and-”

“WOW OK, I get it! You can really smell all that?” he nods slowly and you get a feeling that you don't need the zip lock bag to hide stuff from your Dad, but exclusively from Dave. Like. Seriously, he joked about it, but is he turning into a dog? 

You should have really done all that extra reading on the subject, and you regret you thought you'd get by with the little stuff you learned in Sex-Ed. You vow to do your fucking homework and inform yourself properly later, so you can support Dave like the bro he deserves. Still, should he be this sensitive to odors already, even though he's due to present soon?

“Do you think that maybe you are changing more gradually and not like, all at once on your birthday? Like, are you already changing?” you wait a moment but he doesn't answer that, the only indication he even heard it is a slight hitch in his breath, so he probably does not want to think about it?

“When did that start?” Finally he shrugs and leans back into the couch cushions with a groan. You resist to rub the hot patch on your shoulder, former resting place of Dave Strider's now slightly rosy face. 

“Okay so you have super smell now, what else? Anything else I need to know? In case of emergency what buttons do I push?” you try to be serious about this, but it's kind of hard.

“First off, I don't have super smell powers. I just got more sensitive towards shit I always knew was there. It's like when you open a bag of skittles and just eat all the red ones and leave the rest for whoever else eat the other fucking colors and then one day, bamf some weird voice in the back of your head, that always went unheard and ignored, tells you: yeah, actually you should eat the other fucking colors too, that suddenly it's rather essential actually. And they fucking beg you to eat them even though your conscious says: dude, all you want is red, what the fuck are you doing? You just can't help yourself, now you can't ignore them anymore and you'll have to eat them too.  
I smelled you before that, just like I always knew there were more than just red skittles in that bag. I just didn't think much about it. And some time a few months ago it simply started to get more and more import to me what stuff smelled like, and that's that. It gets harder to ignore.” his hands wander from his sweater pockets and he subtly rubs them over his pants, before hiding them back in the faded red fabric.

“Yeah... I don't get it.” You tilt your head to the side and look at him, but he's blankly staring at the black TV screen again, obviously avoiding to look at you.

“If you laugh I'll punch you in the guts.”

“What? Dude!”

“I don't want to be an alpha. What do I care about people lining up around the block to get a piece of me, yearning to have me mark them, breed them, or simply for a good knot. I hope so much I'll turn out a beta. No pressure at all. Just being me, just like you.” He sounds a little desperate and you get that that was a burning declaration of bromanship but-  
You pull your knees up and press your face against it. 

“John?”

“Don't say shit like knot, that's nasty. Urgh. If you can rip shit out of my stuff, I should have the right to cut your vocabulary. Right?” Shit, your face feels a little hot.

“You're such a wuss. So talking about fucking is fine but what comes after is nasty? Weirdo. You know when you'll present you'll get one too? Though probably a lot smaller than mine, beta boy. Who knows, maybe you'll even crave one. Don't come whining for me then.” he smirks and now it's your turn to punch his shoulder.

“DAVE.”

“I didn't say knot dude, the fuck are you still unhappy with.” you can practically hear his eyebrows dancing at that and groan in frustration. One second he's super depressed, and the next he's back to _uber dork Sassy Mc Gross_! You don't answer him and let what you just learned experimentally run through your head instead.

So Dave basically doesn't want to be an alpha, but already shows territorial behavior and feels shit change. And he hates it because he thinks your bromance won't survive that? Does that sum it up? Huh...

The couch lowers a little further next to you and a second later Daves face is pressed warm against your neck. The frames of his shades dig into your skin and you feel every strand of thin blond hair against it. His breath is hot, and weirdly moist, and tickles, and that is definitely breaking your comfort zone.  
You still don't move though. Even when he starts to take a deep breath inhaling your scent that seems to be so easy to detect for him. You can't smell him at all, even from this distance. Half a year from now you probably will though.

“Half a year from now you'll get your own stench.” he interrupts your thoughts and you roll your eyes.

“Rude.”

“I mean it. I don't want you to present. What if I don't like your new scent? What if you don't like mine? Shit. What if just hanging out with each other gets us all nauseous?” he's back to a more joking tone and you shrug against him.

“It's not like we're mates, so what does it matter? I mean people only get kind of appetizing scents that suit them anyway, right? I never heard of someone with pheromones that smell of foul eggs, or old fish, or something, so I think I can safely assume that we won't turn out unbearable.”

“What if I smell like pizza? Shit what if I smell like cheetos. Don't get me wrong I love cheetos and Pizza, but that's not really something you want your pheromones to smell like.”

“I don't think that's possible, Dave.”

“Yeah but what if? I'll attract stray cats, and dogs, and probably hobos dude.”

“Pffff.” You snort and barely stifle a laugh, he growls at you, pinching your side and you make a pathetic little squeak before you let your head fall against his. You can't help but laugh in his hair while he snickers into your collar. Ahhh, Dave really _is_ your best bro. He shouldn't be so worried about all this, because you know no matter how much will change in the future you and him will always be the same. You'll be bros forever. And should the world come to an end, it wouldn't matter. Bros for life. 

You nuzzle your nose in his hair and take a deep breath. He's still using this disgusting strawberry shampoo you gave him for ironic purposes on- ... What did he call it? White Day, this thing where you give something back to those that gave you something on Valentines day in Japan. He hated it so much yet pretended to love it ironically, so why did he buy another bottle? Dork. You sigh contently and he returns the gesture. Feels weird when he breathes on you like that.

“Well, if it really comes to that I'll come to protect you and you can whole up here. I won't mind if you smell like Pizza. You could smell like salad dressing, I still wouldn't mind.”

“Charmer.” 

“Hehehe. I know, I'm a keeper.”

"Damn straight you are."

"You know it man."

He slowly relaxes against you and after 5 Minutes you think that if he relaxes any-fucking-more he'll end up as a puddle of mush in your lap, so you give him a push, indicating it's enough already. Even bro cuddles have an expiration date. The noise he makes when sitting back up is some confusing combination between a sneer and a whine.

In the end Dave declares that now he's too tired to play too, and that he's okay with watching a movie instead. After 4 minutes of discussion you agree to his awful choice of 'Titanic' because he wanted to, hold your breath, play a game with you. Yes. He told you five minutes ago he's too tired for games, and now this shit.

“No, hear me out first, we need to play _Jack 'n Rose bingo_. I got it from Terezi, who invented it when Karkat forced her into watching it, and it has the potential to be hilarious if done right.”

“What's _Jack and Rose bingo_?”

“I'm glad you asked.” he smirks and proceeds to explain to you what is clearly a game you need to concentrate for, even though he just declared he was oh so fucking tired. Turns out on top of it it's about as ridiculous as inventions like _endure_ , _if I was you_ , _the photocopier_ , _Porn Ping Pong_ , and Sadistic Simon Says - in public, and just as simple.

It's basically just that you pick each one name, “Jack” or “Rose”, and every time anyone says the name you picked you have to repeat it in the same tone they said it. The twist is that instead of actually saying Jack or Rose you have to replace it with the name of your game partner, while looking them in the eyes. Every time you make your partner laugh you get a point. Every time you laugh they get a point.

You pick Rose and Dave gladly takes Jack. So, whenever someone says Rose you'll say Dave and Dave will say John when someone says Jack. And as boring as the movie is until the fucking ship finally sinks, it is kind of fun now because you never noticed how often their names are said and HOW. You crack up more than once, while Dave on the other hand has pretty good self control. Not very fair though, considering he gets to say “John~” in Rose's breathy high pitched tone a lot and it's ridiculous with his poker face and the shades! He collects points like crazy and at some point you stop caring and just laugh your asses off.

*

When your Dad comes home hours later it's late at night and you and Dave are in the middle of your second round of Titanic Bingo (you still haven't figured out why it's called bingo!), because he utterly destroyed you the first round and you wouldn't let it end with that. You're already hanging all over each other. Sharing a blanket and one of his legs is draped over your lap, while your head rests against his shoulder and slowly but surely you're both sliding over to his side because wheee~ Tired. The game is fun, but Titanic is still rather boring. Especially when you play it two times in a row and are too comfortable to actually move to look at each other when saying the others name.

“Boys, do I need to remind you of the time again? You have school tomorrow.” he sounds tired but he isn't scolding.

You force yourself right up into a straight position, accidentally pushing Dave flat on the couch in the process. Dad hasn't even taken his hat or coat off yet. You know that means fun times are over.

“Hi Dad.” “G'nevening Mr E.”

“Hello boys. Dave, I better drive you home now, your brothers are probably worried already.” oh my god, you knew it. Damn.

“Thanks, I'd appreciate that.” Dave starts to untangle himself from you and the blanket and you groan flopping down on his chest before he can get up. 

“Dad, he's 16 and they know where he is! Duhhh.”

“What your Dad is trying to tell me is that if it gets any later it would inconvenience him if I asked for a ride home.” he gives you a push and you roll off his chest and fall from the couch with a muffled “Uff!”, all curled up in that damn blanket like some big fat caterpillar.

It's not even ten minutes from then when you hear the front door, still rolled up in that blanket in front of the sofa, and just too warm and comfy to get up and see Dave off at the door. Dave is a good friend. He understands.  
It's already getting cold outside. Good thing your Dad brings Dave home. He might be living here for 6 years now, but he is still a frail Texas flower. Super sensitive to all kinds of cold weather. Hehe.

*

That night you dream that you and Dave are boarding the Titanic and messing shit up for everyone. Somehow Rose and Jade are there too, only that Rose is the Rose from the movie and Jade is Jack, and even though you try to mess with their story as well they barely seem to notice you. Also, even though you are dressed for the time and occasion, Dave has an I-Phone. The fuck did he get that? It's 1912! But he doesn't wear his shades and has really warm and dark brown eyes...

In the end you get caught behind one of the barriers deep down in the ship and Dave comes back for you when the water rises. You are trapped with a few other people and Dave tries to help bust open the gate, but it doesn't work. He refuses to leave even when you get mad and yell it into his face. The water is really fucking cold and so are his hands on your face. The water rises to your waist, Dave goes back to pulling and kicking on the gate that seems to be oh so weak, but is more than capable of resisting five really desperate people.

In the back of your head you're aware it must be a dream, and that somewhere in this ship right now Rose is busting Jade free with an axe and with her eyes closed (dick move). But this is fucking scary anyway. 

The water is on your chest level. You scream, tell Dave to leave already! He doesn't move. Just stares you down as if you were the biggest idiot to drown tonight. He's just as panicked as you are, shaking as badly as you are. As frightened as all of you trapped on the other side.

Before you know it you reach through the grid and blindly take one of his hands, squeeze it and he pulls you against the bars. The water reaches your chin and his forehead leans against yours while he mumbles panicked apologies. You whimper it's okay, you want him to leave now! Save your self, you idiot! 

You let go of him, push him, but he won't let go of your hand, even when you have to kick the water to keep your head up, and you get dangerously close to the ceiling. He tries to pull you against the bars again, there are only a few inches of room between the surface and the ceiling. You can't make eye contact anymore. He squeezes your hand hard enough for you to feel through the numbing cold in your limbs. Let go. Dave. Let go, let go let go- 

_Please stay!_ You can taste the salt, one lung full of freezing water and the panic reaches its highest point. You're gonna die. It hurts. Oh god it hurts! You can't breathe! You _have to breathe! You'll die!!_ Pinpricks down your throat and in your chest! Dave let's go of your hand-

You wake up, coughing and shivering all over, your heart is beating in your throat. Within five seconds you don't even know what you dreamed about anymore. For some reason you still feel scared though. What the fuck. A nightmare? And why the fuck is your window open? Shit, it's really fucking cold. It's gonna be December soon...


	2. Blue Envelope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daves presentation is a really big thing. The Striders are pretty much a celebrity family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chap is so suuuuper long, I'm so sorry but since this whole fic only is supposed to have 6 chapters I am cramming as much into it as I can. Also I already finished it last week but my cute Beta rainingapples was very busy with RL and got sick so another Beta of mine, sweet caliginouscandy, offered to proofread this and help out so they did partly and they are my guest proofreader! Thanks a lot to these two!

You tell your Dad for the second time to cut it out, and that you're not gonna belt out a birthday song together when he opens the door! The fuck Dad. Just because at your house it's always the birthday boy who has to open the door and greet his guests is no reason to think everyone else thinks that's a good idea, too. 

In fact it is good old Strider tradition to let the person closest to the door open it. And that's only ever a Strider when there is nobody but Striders at home. And going by the amount of people that already gathered in front of the tower block to smoke, and those who are clogging the hallway, you think you're lucky if you get to see a Strider at all. 

It's the third of December, and his 17th birthday. Today Dave finally presents, and as everyone had predicted, as an alpha. No surprise here! 

The presentation of a young person is a great event, so it's not uncommon that there are more guests coming to congratulate the presentee and wish them luck on their way into adulthood than have been officially invited, but this is ridiculous. Even for a wealthy and popular pack as the Striders. You know that half of the people are probably just here to catch a glimpse of the celebrity that is Daves oldest brother, and don't even live in the area. Usually only family, friends, and people from your neighborhood come to commemorate someones _coming of age presentation_.

In the old days reaching adulthood meant leaving the house and starting your own life, so a lot of visitors on ones presentation party would leave a little money in a special box at the door as a dower, to make sure the young adult would start safely in their life. It's still custom to give money rather than presents on someones seventeenth birthday, but only your family and friends. Nowadays strangers usually bring food, so that the family of the presentee wouldn't have so much work feeding all the guests, and because usually teens don't move out at age 17 anymore. Also, these days nobody needs to depend on other peoples money to start their own life without having to fear their family might go broke.

Seeing as there are roughly 50 people only outside of the buidling that would have been a lot of preparation for the Striders, even though you bet they have a catering service anyway. You told your Dad not to bring any cake, since you are friends of the family and the usual money-gift was enough, but he wouldn't listen. Half of the people out here look like models and are dressed to the nines, so you're kind of self-conscious as you worm your self inside. You know Dave won't mind that you came in casual clothes, but still. In hindsight you regret your decision.

As is normal, Dave got all his medical examinations done a week before his presentation, and called you right after he got the results two days later. You haven't seen him since and he wasn't at school either, but he still pesters you, so you guess that's okay. 

A grin spreads across your features as you pull your Dad away from the elevator that still hasn't been repaired, and that forced all guests to use the stairs up to the penthouse apartment. 

You're rather proud that, after his brothers, you were the first person Dave wanted to tell about his results. As a thanks you didn't even say “Told you so, bro!”, and that was really hard, considering you really told him he would be an alpha over and over. Instead, you bugged him about the details, which he gladly provided.

Alpha, high virility, genetic defects: eyes, / (you all already knew about the last one, it seems to run in the Strider genes). According to him the testing took almost 3 hours, and it felt like a check up for a breeding bull, or what must happen to guys that claim to have been abducted by aliens, and he seemed glad to be through with that shit.  
The then following explanation about what happened exactly actually took the fun out of the idea of your own check up. Full blood count, skin sample, semen sample, allergy tests, several lung function tests, a prostate check, and some other things you don't remember right now, but- good God. They are really thorough. 

You know that if you aren't in good condition going into heat can be: one, painful, two, damage your health irreparably, and three, kill you. There were actually people with high blood pressure, asthma, and cardiac defects that died during their early unstable heats, so yeah, you can see what this thoroughness is for. In case you are not physically capable of going through your heat without problems there are several meds you can take to weaken the effects, but that's not without any risks either... 

But Dave told you he is pretty much top fit! Also you got your suspicions confirmed, because apparently Dave was really early and that was the reason he got all weird and emotional. They say starting early is easier on the body but takes a toll on ones mind. And the other way round, having a quick change is better on your head but makes your body ache for weeks. You're not sure what you hope for but seeing as you'll be 17 in four months and haven't had any changes yet you'll probably get a sudden one.

You finally reach the top floor and you and Dad really have to push to make it to the door. The bass off the music is already audible and you can tell it's one of Dave's own creations. When you finally reach what looks like the for the day constantly open door it only hammers louder into your direction, now coupled with an even stronger variety of scents you can hardly keep apart. Mostly pheromones and perfumes like on your way up that is now coupled with the heavenly smell of things like pizza. 

And wonder oh wonder near the open door you are stopped and personally greeted by the one and only David Strider. With 28 he is not only the eldest of the Strider pack but also pretty much the hottest and most sought-after alpha you'll ever have the honor to meet. He wears a black suit and a deep red shirt and he still showcases that ridiculous goatee that your Dad dreads so much. You really don't know why though, David can pull it off and he keeps it neat and short trimmed.

You grin wide when nodding into his shades while Dad lifts his chin a few inches out of politeness and formality before greeting him. David musters you for a second obviously pleased to see you even though you're fashionably late (your fault) and beckons you in. 

“Mr. Strider you have a little something...” your Dad motions to his cheeks and there is a slight upwards motion in the younger one's brows as he thumbs over his cheeks to discover what seems like a small bit of cream. He sucks it off his thumb without second thought in a rather sensual manner and you can't help the staring and neither can your Dad. The blond smirks.

“Johnny, Dave must be jumping around somewhere here and seeing as all this commotion makes him antsy you better get in there quick before he faints like the fair maiden we all know he is. And remember when moving through the crowd always against the clock then you'll find him sooner or later. And Mr. Egbert, assuming there is a cake in that box, follow me.” he wriggles his brows at your Dad which you think is rather funny looking and you push past them and inside. He probably thought that looked super nonchalant but you can't see it as anything as ludicrous.

It's funny how he is hot stuff in Hollywood and made it into the top 20 of sexiest men alive and is an oh so talented screenwriter and director but whenever you meet him there is always something to strip him of all the coolness the media so eagerly pins onto his chest. You just can't take seriously a guy who sorts fruit loops by color and _irnoically_ wears ridiculous T-shirts with family pictures printed on them at home.

The noise becomes deafening as soon as you're in the spacious dining room, and it's not just the music but also the enormous amount of people squeezed in here. The Strider apartment has always been big and extravagant, they are four guys and rather rich so of course that's no surprise. You just never thought you could cram so many people in here, what if the gallery can't hold all that weight and crashes down into the kitchen? Fuck... All of a sudden you're not so sure you'll get to see Dave at all today. Why did you even think you would in the first place? Argh.

You try to stay close to the walls and survey this ocean of commotion. Both you and Dave are rather tall so it shouldn't be so hard to spot the blond, or so you thought. Unfortunately as earlier mentioned most of the people here look like fucking models so of course they are rather tall too! So much for that great plan of yours.

After 20 minutes of relentless pushing against strangers to move through the crowd and continuous observation you are this far away from simply standing there screaming Dave's name until _he_ finds _you_ because birthday or not you are already bored and tired and if it hadn't been 9 days since you last saw Dave you would have left already.

If at least you'd find your Dad or maybe if you're very lucky you might find Rose, Roxy or at least one of their moms.  
Or who knows maybe even your cousins. Jane doesn't live too far away plus she is a good friend of Dirk so she's probably here to congratulate Dave, you're not sure about your uncle though. Your Dads twin brother is very similar to your Dad in looks and personality so he'd probably be eager to do the right and polite thing and come, but with his whole cancer thing going on you're not sure if he is in the physical condition to endure such commotion. Jade on the other hand... 

The Harley-Englishes live on an Island somewhere in the Pacific. It's so far away and impossible to reach that you couldn't even go to Jades presentation yesterday. You and Dad send her a big package but when you asked her a few days ago it hadn't reached her yet. She said she and Jake might come for Dave's and tomorrow Rose's presentation though, and not to tell him anything because it's supposed to be a surprise, but you're not sure whether or not they actually made it. 

You groan as your attention starts to swing from keeping an eye out for your best bro to fighting your way to the kitchen and the buffet. It's probably much easier to find Dave with a full stomach. Swimming through the crowd uses much energy. Food is needed. That's what you tell yourself. No, that's how it is!

About two hours, way too many walks to the kitchen, more than one plate of chicken fingers (You're not sure how many though), one slice of pizza that landed on the floor when someone pushed you and way to much Pepsi, coming across Rose twice (though only yelling in her direction over loud music and an ocean of people between you before she got swept away), seeing Jane and Roxy once, and a lot of sneers from fancy looking people that must be either friends, admirers or colleagues of David -or Bro- later, you finally see Dave.

The suit he's wearing is bright red combined with a black button up shirt and a white tie and vest and a new pair of fancy sunglasses -not the pair you gave him for his 13th birthday- his hair is gelled back in a way that makes him look almost like a different person. If you didn't see him close up you wouldn't have recognized him. Hell maybe you actually walked past him in a pack of long-limbed smooth and skinny aliens in bright colors and didn't notice it was him. 

You admit he looks classy but that's just not him. Not really. His beats blasting in the background more than prove that in your opinion. Feels like one last act of rebellion before he is legally considered an adult and expected to act like one. And then there is his “I don't like it here, don't talk to me, stay away” posture. Last time you saw that was when Bro invited you to come along with him, Dave and Dirk to an anime convention and forced group cosplay on you when you were already there and couldn't back out.

It's his party yet he seems to try and stay out of larger groups to avoid to get pulled into conversations and he keeps his head low. On closer inspection he kind of looks paler than usual. You're not sure if that's all part of his imaginary Peter Pan complex (it's not an officially recognized disease, you googled it) or whatever and you really want to give him his space when he's already like this but-

You wrinkle the dark blue envelope in the pocket of your sweater and go through your options. You wonder if Rose or Jane have talked to him yet. Maybe you shouldn't when he's this stressed out. On the other hand, when you're dorking around with him it's less likely that he get's abducted by strangers that only see a younger copy of David in him and want a piece of that, or use him to get closer to David or Bro.

“Hey, Dave!” you chime and bump your shoulders together, you can hardly hear your own voice over the music and conversations surrounding you. Unable to contain the excitement over finally FINALLY meeting your best buddy after nine damn days you repeat yourself and your grin widens! Nine days is the longest you've been apart except for the times when David takes them with him for big events or when you and Dad would visit your grandparents. 

When Dave turns to look at you he seems reluctant to greet back. For a moment there you think it might have been better not to approach him. You can see him grind his teeth, lips pressed into a thin line before he takes a deep steadying breath.

“Sup, Egbert.” you read his lips more than hear his voice even when standing this close and when he finally visibly relaxes and you give a small exhale of relieve and he starts to slouch a little.

“My condolences, young master Strider. May your childhood rest in peace.” you wipe an imaginary tear out of your eyes in obvious mock grief and he gives your shoulder a playful little push that you return with a radiant toothy smile.

“I figured you wouldn't want me to congratulate you on that.” you're pretty proud of that idea. You've been sitting on it for two days now.

“How thoughtful of you to go out of your way and rub it in like that. 9 out of 10 for douchery, bro. Nice.” He sounds cool as ever and you can't really make out whether he's actually a little bitter or already over it. Huh. Certainly looks like he is back to perfectly normal Dave behavior. Better check though.

“What's up with... _that_?” you skeptically look him once over and he snorts.

“Don't even start. David made me choose, suit or diapers and man I would have gone for the diapers if he'd have let me wear something underneath it. Dude, believe me, that's not something you wanna feel hugging the crotch cobra. Gets better though since he said if I wear the suit I'll have to do the whole cool kid presentation. No bounce house, no pony, no nothing. Promise me you'll have a bounce house when you present.”

“I'll try and convince Dad. And what's with the hair? Please tell me that wasn't optional either.”

“Hey, nothing against the hair, have you any idea how long it takes for this masterpiece to look so effortlessly cool?”

“You look like a total dweeb.”

“Jealous much.” he smirks and you can see his arm twitch as he wants to run a hand through his hair but holds back. “Nah but really, I just want to avoid getting stuck with gross people calling me baby David, clone kid, or copycat like way back when Dirk presented. I've seen hell my friend and I don't intend to repeat that. Once is more than enough.”

“Yeah... there is a certain family resemblance but I don't think you and David look THAT much alike.” 

“Man I doubt we have actual parents. That guy is a clone of himself and us other 3 are his little experimental clone of the clone babies. I mean com'on, he named me after himself. If that's not a massive fucking hint I don't know what is.”

“Didn't your Dad name you?” Dave rolls his eyes dramatically, you can't see his eyes but you know the head movement by now.

“Do you really want me to bust out the sick stories of the Strider family tree amidst these cormorants? You never know which of these are with the media. That and I told you the story like- what? A hundred times at least.”

“You did, but it never stops amazing me.” you laugh and try to imagine baby Dave in diapers blowing spit bubbles as his Dad thrusts him into Davids arms and tells him to name the kid: “David or something” and reacting with a flabbergasted “OH?” when the three boys tell him he already has a son named David. Remember? His firstborn?? You never met Dave's Dad but he sounds so weird! In the end David just decided it's his Dads way of flattery and now there are two Davids in the family. Dave insists on being called Dave though. 

“Well Dave, here comes the one million dollar question. Do you feel any different?”

“Than what? Than a horse? Than a shoe? Than a dorito? I have to say yes to the first two and no to dorito. I am one with the dorito John. I _am_ the dorito.”

“Duh! No, obviously not that!”

“Well Egbert, maybe it would pay off to be a little more specific in the future. I'm good but I'm not a fucking mind reader.”

“Different than yesterday. Do you feel any different than yesterday?”

“Nah.” you can't help the smug little grin ghosting over your features. 

“See I told you so! I guess I see you for UNO next week then?” you hum contentedly but in the next moment you already feel your stomach drop when he tenses up again. 

“Eh, no? Dude I told you no more boardgames after I present.”

“But-”

“I think I already told you that today is just a ceremonial thing. Compare it to a secret celebrity marriage for example Beyonce and Jay-Z in 2008. Shit happened long before that video montage hit the media. This is my magical video montage. Enjoy.” he makes a sweeping gesture at the surge of people behind you. You're not sure if he's actually serious about this. Somehow the envelope in your pocket feels heavy.

“But UNO is a card game not a board game and I know you still want to play. Don't deny it dude. It's itching in your fingers and you can't stop thinking about cards and dice.” 

“Oh wow you got me figured out Egbert. How could I ever expect to get away with such crude concealment, I must have forgotten your fucking third eye. I guess there's no helping it, I have to confess now. There's nothing in this world that get's my dick as hard as parlor games. I'm all entrenched in this bitch and I just can't stop. It's not like I have any other hobbies anyway so of course every free minute goes into busting out the wicked fun that is the immortal beauty of the nostalgic analog gaming experience. UNO you say? Welp, count me in. All those lusting Vamps hunting after my fine piece of alpha ass will have to wait till I grow out of it I guess. Which would be never since we all know that nobody ever grows out of anything.” the sacrasm in his words is unmistakeable. 

“Okay okay I get it. Sheesh Dave. Hm... So you really are a fully recognized alpha now? I mean you told me that before but come on spill the details! We're best friends right?” Oh god you're gonna be sick. Seriously? He won't come over for games anymore? What are you going to do with all of these then? They are practically his so throwing them out is kind of wrong, but you doubt he'd want you to give them back. Dave shrugs and puffs a tired sigh.

“Sorry to disappoint but there is not much to say about it.” he shrugs again and you give a frustrated groan.

“Come on there must be tons of things like- did your scent change?” 

“Yeah.” He turns his head away ever so slightly but you don't mind his brusquely answer. He has his own scent now his own brand of pheromones and if that isn't exciting news you don't know what is. Curiosity tingles through your spine and you can't help sniffing the air as if there was anything to smell over all the perfume, deodorant and whatnot confusing the smell of- Everyone! 

“... Really? I can't smell the difference. What's it like? Shouldn't you kind of ooze that shit out of every pore right now? Attracting mates. You know. Stuff like that.” you can almost hear him roll his eyes behind the shades yet again.

“Dude if every adult would drip with pheromones every single fucking minute of the day I don't think there would be any breathable air left on our beloved blue space-marble. Hell I don't think we'd have ever evolved this far with all the fucking that would have been to do there. Like, bro you know what pheromones are for right? I don't have to explain to you the meaning of the talk from birds and bees and that special season that your Dad hopefully gave you already otherwise shit could get really confusing for you very soon.”

“Dave.” you raise your brows and give him the half-lidded _I'm tired of your antics_ -look and he licks his lips in response. Definitely thinking about what to say before he speaks for once.

“Yes Egbert, I have a scent. But right now it's subtle because I'm not in heat nor having a ticket to boner town on me at the moment.”

“How subtle? How close would I have to come to smell it like, right now? Come on tell me what scent did you get? Don't tell me you really got Cheetos-pheromones!”

“Man it's so Cheetos.” his smirk forms into a serious fucking grin showing a row of straight white teeth. 

You full out pout at him, puffed cheeks and everything because really Dave? Why not just tell you about it? He snorts a choked laugh in his fist at your dramatic sigh/eye-roll combo and you totally lose it.  
You leap forward a hand landing on his shoulder the other is quickly stopped by one of his hands at your wrists while he shoves his other under you chin when you try to lean in.

“What the fuck, Egbert! Cut it out!” he grunts and you wrestle him a little not caring at all for the people that barely jump out of your way and those that the two of you bump into and almost knock over nor the strange looks you're given. To you it's just your usual bickering natural and normal and you won't ever let anything stop you from it and you know he doesn't mind as much as he wants you to believe. You pursue him with impish glee as he can barely contain his amusement and keep his cool while simultaneously fighting you off. For a moment you both completely forget where you are and just slap fight each other as you try to grab him and he keeps ducking away, trying too hard yet at the same time making it look somewhat effortless.

It's all over before you know it though, you get a hold of both of his upper arms pull both of you together which has you stumble into each other in surprise and you take a short whiff of his neck snickering against his skin as you realize he smells a little like apples and something that's too weak for you to make out. It suits him though and you can't resist taking another deep breath to decipher what this secret ingredient to the new Dave smell is. 

You just assumed he'd be alright with that, he did the same to you on several occasions and way more drawn out than you while trying to break down all the components building up the odor of your youth, yet in these few seconds you take to sniff on him he shudders and goes completely rigid.

“Okay, Egbert, no. Not okay. Let go.” his hands are somewhere in midair as he becomes more and more tense in front of you. All of a sudden he is very careful to get as little contact points with you as possible. You immediately draw back not sure what you did wrong exactly when you see Dave giving his neck and arms a quick rub as if you'd have left some smear on him or something.

“Uh... Dave?” he doesn't react to you and instead tries to subtly take his surroundings in and when you follow his gaze you start to notice quite a lot of people looking and whispering in your direction as if you'd have just done something shockingly crude. From one second to another you feel like a fucking cockroach.

“D-Dave?” fuck, you hate how utterly insecure you suddenly sound but with how loud the music is he probably didn't even hear that. Slowly it sinks in that this is not one of Dave's usual dumb ironic and private birthday parties, but his presentation. His official presentation as an adult, an alpha. And not only did you come here in your favorite old sweater and a pair of jeans with a hole over one knee, but you didn't pay him any respect. At all.

You're pretty sure it would be super awkward to casually bare your throat to him so late, especially with all this beautiful people still staring and you get more and more embarrassed. You've fucked up big. Shit. This is supposed to be Dave's big day of honor and the first thing you do when you see him is starting to undermine his authority and challenge him, even take the lead in front of strangers. 

Why the fuck does he even put up with that? Shit, your face starts to feel hot and you train your eyes to your shoelaces. You can still feel people staring and when you hear someone snarl “indecent” behind your back you just know your face must be glowing. Was that really indecent??

A hand grips your arm painfully hard and pulls you backwards into the crowd, you loose sight of Dave who didn't look at you anyway within one second. You almost trip over your own feet to keep up with the guy pulling you along, not to mention all those other feet in your way, and finally look up to Dirk's face. Hair spiked as usual, orange shirt, white tie and these ridiculous scalene triangle shades. You don't have the slightest idea where he came from all of a sudden or what he wants with you and frankly you absolutely don't care!

“Wait-” but you stumble and barely manage not to fall into someone and he keeps dragging you along. You didn't even give Dave the damn envelope yet! Chances you'll find Dave again in this model-soup are practically zero. 

One last time he tugs hard on your arm and with a push you're out of the crowd and on the corridor to the Striders' bedrooms. You can't say you're not pretty fucking dumbfounded by that development when you rub the part of your arm that he probably left a grim hand print on. You know he's kinda gay but you never really talked all that much with him and you don't think he ever treated you like-

He harrumphs and stiffles a low chuckle.

“It's not what you think John. Just thought you could use some help there.” he smirks and shrugs taking a look over his shoulder to make sure- … you have no idea what he's making sure of really, The only people passing by here seem to be those in search of the bathroom or on their way to the kitchen. 

You don't waste a second on thanking him for getting you out of that uncomfortable situation back with Dave. What are you? A damsel in distress that needs to be saved? And why by him of all people? He shifts a little and shoves his hands in his pockets.

“So. Where's the rest of your pack?” you shoot him a confused look.

“Jake and Jade. Did you see them?” he repeats tiredly and on closer inspection you can see his tie is loosened and it seems he's been running around looking for them for a while. You shake your head in response and he groans.

“I haven't seen them yet, sorry man.” you reply and wonder if you can leave now or whether he wants anything else from you. Frankly you don't like being alone with him too much, together with Dave it's great and he's rather funny but alone he's a bit intimidating. And weird. Not Dave-weird. Just weird.

A strong scent of oranges sweet and bitter comes from him with something you can only describe as distinctly summer. Yeah... He smells like oranges and summer and really good and- AURGH. No! Shit you really shouldn't concentrate on that! In the crowd you wouldn't have noticed it with this confusing mixture of scents, but now it's becoming rather clear that he's close to his heat, if not already in it.

You wait a few more seconds before you attempt to walk past him and he blocks your way with one arm effectively sending you flinching and giving him a laughing fit.

“Jesus John, what's up with you today? You seem awfully aware of me all of a sudden, not that I can blame you, we both know I'm incredibly hot and I know it must be hard, but try to hold back a little and concentrate, okay?” if he wasn't half a head taller than you and Dave you'd try and push him out of the way, but if he's really close to entering his heat that wouldn't end good for you. Dirk is 20 or something now so he's out of his second puberty right? He should act more like an adult with sufficient self-control. Can't he do something against that pheromone wall coming your way? 

“John. John come on, lift your head you're being rude. You're acting as if I was trying something on you.” he sighs and you can't help but feel somewhat caught. He really makes it look like he does, so how could you be sure? Damn Striders. Damn all of them and their confusing ambiguous suggestive ways! Shit.

“Are you not?” that wasn't supposed to sound as hesitant as it did, what the fuck is up with you? You are a big guy your voice shouldn't pitch up like that you should have sounded scolding or imposing or something, not- not like THAT! Is that what pheromones do to you when you enter second puberty? Maybe it's normal that he makes you more nervous now than he did half a year ago. Yeah. Yeah that's probably the alpha effect right? You finally look up just in time to see Dirk curl a lip in distaste.

“Pff.” Ahh and there it is again. The infamous _I am rolling my eyes but you can't see it through the shades so I roll my head a little to hint to you that I am_ movement. They all have that. You can't help but feel a little offended that he brushed it off like that. Okay yeah you know you can't hold a candle to him. Or any Strider when you're already at it. But was it really necessary to be that blunt about it? Asshole. God. Not that you're not glad that it's not what you thought what it might could have been but-  
Oh my god what's wrong with you can't your mind stop circling about Dick- DIRK. Shit. It's alpha pheromones it _has_ to be alpha pheromones. It's kind of freaky how hard it is to concentrate when you inhale them like that. What were you doing again? Oh yeah, right.

“Can I go then?” you puff out with a lot more confidence and again he blocks your way and this time shoves you back when you try to duck under his arm.

“I'm not done yet.”

“What?”

“I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't embarrass Dave today of all days. Prank him any other day I'll high five you, man I'll hold the camera if you inform me in time so that we can enjoy it over and over and over again send it to all of his friends on x-mas and other holidays in his name, but that thing back there was seriously uncool.” he's suave as always and there is no indication that he is mad or anything but the way he is standing that close to you looking all big and uh.. alpha? You kind of can't help but gulp down some air and nod yet still knitting your brows in confusion. You want to talk back and defend your actions but you don't really know how. Just-

“But I just-”

“No not _but_ , just stop this shit okay? Not today, not here. Playtime is over.” Okay wow can he not come this close to you he smells really intensely good and all, however this isn't-

“Dirk, what the fuck let him go. I don't think he has any idea what he did wrong.” Dave walks around the corner and pushes past Dirk nudging his shoulder in yours, forcing you a step further down the corridor. One hurray for Dave please, who actually managed to follow you with minimal delay!

“Then you better make sure you explain to him that he can't flirt with you like that on public anymore. Not until he presents.” your eyes grow wide and you're not sure whether you want to laugh or shit on the floor and throw your feces at him.

“What- I wasn't flirting! Duh.” 

“It doesn't matter what you were intending doofus, you're getting both of you into trouble and-”

“ _Dirk._ ” Dave interrupts and you're both silenced by the sudden roughness in Daves tone. You didn't think his voice could do that. 

“I'll talk to him. Give us some room?” you're not sure what is happening now, is this a poker face off? Could someone please move a facial muscle to give you an idea of what the fuck is going on here?? And just when it's becoming somewhat unnerving and you're about to open the good old joke-box Dirk groans and rubs his neck before nodding reluctantly. What? Did Dave win?

“Did we win?” you whisper and promptly get a painful elbow in the ribs from Dave.

“Text me when you see a Harley or English.”

“Will do.” Dave doesn't move until Dirk disappears around the corner and you moan in disappointment while Dave let's himself fall back against your chest.

“You knew they wanted to come??” you whine and poke his sides. He's not ticklish and neither are you but it's the thought that counts.

“I figured they'd try. Yes.” he takes a deep breath before he stands up tall again and turns around to face you on eye level. You really wish he was a little more generous with expressions because as much as you can read him when you're in private, right now it's difficult. Might be just that you're a little too pumped and miss the obvious but you really think that he might be laying on thick for the audiences. 

Funny how thinking straight get's a whole lot easier when your brain doesn't get fogged by oranges and summer. Seriously, smelling summer during winter is super weird. That would get to anyone. A hand presses into your back and you jump, Dave ignores your questioning gaze and just gives you a push.

“Move.” you frown at the commanding tone but let the hand hovering behind your back guide you down the hall to the second to last door nonetheless. Dave's room. 

“Did I really mess up that bad? I mean you do that too, right? I even saw people all over the place sniffing each other how is what I did any different?” you can't help but sound a little sour. You're pretty sure there is no reason for Dirk to make such a scene. On the other hand there is this voice in the back of your head telling you that if it wasn't a big deal Dirk probably wouldn't have bothered to interrupt.

“I'd advise you to wait with the interrogation till we're inside, Egbert.”

“Sorry.” you mumble a little dejected and the hand behind you comes into contact with your back again when he opens the door. To you it feels like his way of saying “It's okay”. You can't even begin to imagine what was so indecent about what you did. You just tried to catch a whiff of your best friends new scent. Geez.

You see her before Dave does. Lounging on his bed there is Rose, flipping through a tattered looking red notebook that is obviously not hers.

“Sweet pissing Jesus, Rose, have you ever heard of this thing called privacy?” he doesn't even try to hide the annoyance and groans as he finally gives in and ruffles a hand through his gelled hair.

“I'm shocked, David. What a way to greet your half sister.” she is sitting up a little straighter, closing the book in her lap before she straightens out her simple white and purple dress a little. Somehow everyone in this whole apartment complex manages to make you feel under dressed today.

“Dave.” he corrects her, already seeing where this is going and obviously not in the mood for it. “How long have you been in here and where the fuck did you find that? Drop it slowly and nobody get's hurt.”

“Is it accurate to assume the raising stress level caused by the full entry into second puberty, saying goodbye to our childhood and the estimated 350 strangers mixed with a what might be a total of twenty members of your family and friends here have you on edge or do I have to blame myself for tipping you off when you were in a perfectly fine mood before entering your room? Hi John.” She smiles sweetly, eyes narrowed and with a cheeky little glint in them. 

“Hi Rose.” you give her a short wave. That she returns with a more elegant motion of her hand and wrist in return. 

You have no idea how anyone could ever call her ungainly or fat. She is small and curvy and the most graceful woman you know. On top of that she is smart and has great humor. No wonder you had a crush on her for two years.

Where Dave seems to have trouble with his role as an alpha you think she will succeed without trouble. Tomorrow she presents, and other than your best friend you can see her fill that role and shine in it. In a few years she could be an alpha people would kill and die for. Hehe. If she wanted to rule the world and female alphas wouldn't be so damn oppressed she probably could.

Dave clears his throat and you finally can pry your eyes from her form.

“Hell you know I'll lay on your psychiatrists couch for the fuckfestival that is the phallic object bingo of Daves subconscious that you love to play so much anytime but at the-” 

“Dave, calm down. I'm not here for my own amusement, as preposterous as it sounds. I admit I'm a little disappointed that you forgot we talked about this a few days ago.” she picks at one of her pretty black nails before she looks back up at him and you have no idea what they are talking about. Dave makes a heavy little noise somewhere in the back of his throat and lowers his head to massage the bridge of his long straight nose.

“Not now. Just- go somewhere else. I'll explain it to you later, tomorrow, and in every gory little detail, okay?” Rose looks back and fourth between you and him a few times before sighing and slowly getting up from her place on Dave's bed, making her way to the door. Dave wordlessly opens it for her but she stops standing between the two of you leaning up a little to whisper something at him you don't quite understand.

“-patience-...-childishly-...-confuse-” is all you can make out before she turns around to pat your cheek like you're oh so much younger than they are. Four fucking months what is the big deal with that? You make a show of pouting at her display of affection and the smile on her black painted lips grows wider and less calculated. Rose really is pretty. If she wouldn't have started to date Kanaya a while back you probably still wouldn't be over her.

“See you tomorrow boys.” she hums and before you can say anything the door is pushed into her back.

You expect Dave to just start talking and explaining as soon as he closes the door behind her, but to your surprise even after he's shut it leaned against it and you got comfortable sitting cross legged on his bed he remains still silent. You take it it's your cue then.

“I wasn't flirting.” you huff and really you weren't. You are really curious what this thing with Rose is about but you need that out of the way first and Dave let's out a little grunt.

“Dude I know. There's literally no need to make the extra effort and go out of your way to tell me that, and believe me when I say neither Dirk nor I think that but that's what it looks like to others.”

“Then what's the big deal? I mean yeah okay people saw, what the hell. Does it really matter?”

“John I'm an alpha now. Okay? From today on doing anything like that with you is considered suspicious behavior. You're still a kid, I'm an adult and-”

“We're almost the same age and what does it matter? And it's not like someone can figure out I'm younger than you just by looking at me! And on top of that neither of it us into guys and or seeing the other like that so what the heck? Since when do you care about that?”

“It's not that easy.”

“Yes it is. It's none of their business, I mean I just sniffed you!”

“Even if sniffing counts as socializing within your pack it's definitely flirting with outsiders and guess what it looks like to all these strangers?? And for your information if hypothetically you and I decided to start a mutual whatever _a thing_ now, you are aware that I could get charged for that. Right? I'd probably get away with community service but in the eyes of Justice no matter how blind that bitch is it's pretty much pedophilia. ”

“Yeah but we are not-”

“Doesn't matter.”

“But-”

“Doesn't matter.”

“B-”

“Doesn-”

“Okay Okay I get it! Sheesh! But really it's not like I defiled your lips in front of everyone I just tried to get a whiff of your brand new apple juice pheromones! I obviously did a friendly friend thing! I don't see what's the problem with that since you sniff me all the fucking time and nobody ever thought we were doing... I dunno. _Sexy things._ ” you whisper the last part and look up in time to see Dave struggle with the grin tugging on his lips.

“First of all I only ever did that when we were alone and as an extension of bro cuddles, which will stop for the next half a year too by the way, and not on some giant ass public event because mind you I have some fucking manners. Secondly you are not a little kid anymore and know very damn well what a face to the throat means, and yeah I admit it might be partly my fault that you're not as sensitive with this shit as you should be at our age but come on, you can't possibly think that people thought you were only sniffing me. You wouldn't sniff your Dads throat like that now would you?” You need a moment to let that resonate in your brain. 

Yeah usually that is a thing lovers do, you can't remember when you had your face against your Dads neck the last time. You were probably really small though. And you'd never do that with your cousins or grandparents. Not like that. Not with that much skin contact, not with such a deep breath. Rose would probably slap you if you got so much as anywhere near her neck and in addition even if she would let you you'd immediately die of embarrassment. It's common courtesy to sniff someones shoulder with a little distance between you but only if they offer it. 

The neck on the other hand... You've seen it often enough in silhouetted scenes in movies and sometimes in porn. Why even? There are only a few inches between touch and no touch as well as one area and the other yet one is totally fine with everyone and the other some kind of erotic wonderland for flirtatious advances. Usually you actually pay attention to that but with Dave it's- It's hard to explain it just doesn't feel like that with Dave? It's nothing either of you is ashamed of and you trust each other not to bite or shit so why not? It's a nice friend thing gesture thing! Innocent!

You can't help but imagine what your little assault must have looked like to others and what Dave might have thought when he felt your nose and mouth pressed against his skin for those brief seconds that you needed to take his odor in. You slowly realize that despite it being the most natural thing to the two of you he must have always been aware of what it looks like from outside of your little bubble. 

Your face slowly floods with color again and you groan as you fall back on his bed, arms crossed over your eyes, hiding what he probably already saw anyway. Hot bright pink, spreading over your cheeks and down your neck. You can hear Dave sigh from the other side of the room, still with his back against the door.

“Look, usually I wouldn't mind much and I personally don't care whether someone sees this shit or not like I mean you're right, we know what it is, but there are cockroaches running around out there that try to gather dirt about Bro and especially David for countless dirty little gossip rags and twist shit around and nobody wants that. They are just fishing for it and it might turn out as something like, 'Famous author/directors younger brother bones minor!' or shit like that. That's not a great start into adulthood. Understand? When it's just us, do what you want. I'll do the same. It's just four months anyway.”

“Daaaaaaave...”

“Hm?”

“I'm gonna die from shame.”

“Haha, what the fuck bro.”

“No really, I just thought- I mean I saw the Lalondes and Jane and Karkat running around here already. What if there are other kids from our school? What if someone saw that what if they misunderstand? I didn't try to bite you or hint it or flirt or anything but I'd never live that down. Uuurgh.”

“Pff too late, you should have thought about that earlier. Next time think before you move. If anything I should be the one whining about how everyone will think I let myself be dominated by some little future beta that hasn't even presented yet. Do you see me whining? No? Then I'd recommend you stop embarrassing yourself further, man up and get your jailbait ass out of my bed.”

“Gross.” you chuckle and slowly lower your arms. “Hey Dave?”

“Hmm?” you don't lift your head to see it but that hum sounded somewhat content and you imagine him smiling like the dorky nerd you know so well.

“Is that why you always rest your head against my neck? You know. Some kind of subconscious alpha thing.” you close your eyes again and from what it sounds like you totally got him.

“The fuck are you trying to say Egbert? No, I don't try to mark you mine. Ridiculous much. We're a little conceited today ain't we? First floating on Dirk's pheromone wave like a sleepwalker now trying to talk me into some binding shit. You sure you're gonna turn out a beta? I dunno man the way you chase alphas seems pretty omega to me. Might wanna get that checked.”

“Oh Ha Ha. Very funny Dave. I was just trying to say that you _really_ really do that an awful lot. The face in my neck thing and now that I think about it maybe that was a hint that you were meant to be an alpha all along.”

“I don't do it that often.”

“Uh, yes you do? In fact you do that every time you see me and I almost never do that. You've _always_ been the clingy one. Now that I think about it I think I am the cool guy and you're the cuddly dweeb.” you chuckle and he scoffs equally amused.

“Dude no, you started it I just followed the trend.” hehe, yeah he's definitely having fun. God you missed that, you could punch him for depraving you of that for so long.

“Did not! I can still remember when we were 13 and you-”

“Oh look at that. Wow, how time is flying when you're having fun. If you'd excuse me now my fans are waiting.”

“You can't run from the truth Dave!” You laugh and hear the door again when you remember something. This is pretty much the perfect moment, there won't be a more ideal situation for this.

“Dave, wait a second.”

“Nu-Uh.” He waits anyway closing the door again without even knowing what you want and you dig your hands in the tummy pockets of your sweater pulling the now very crinkled dark blue envelope into view.

“That's from me, for the presentee.” insta-rap John. Heh.

“Aw you shouldn't have.” he hums while his eyebrows make this happy little _no shit Sherlock_ jump,but instantly moves over to take it out of your hands. He doesn't open it though only flips it over a few times. You didn't write anything on it since you planned to hand it to him in person. You hope that he doesn't mind and sit up to get a better look on his face when he opens it.

“You really shouldn't have.” he grins and plays with the opening, unsure whether he wants to open it or not. You can't help but return his grin with an even toothier one. He turns his head to look at you and you can't help but feel really glad you're in here and not out there. You're sure that otherwise he wouldn't show you such a vulnerable expression and wonder if Rose and Jade know that Dave can smile this sweetly. You wonder if his brothers know.

Finally he flips the envelope open and you can see his eyebrows curve up and over his shades. He shoots you another bewildered glance before he starts counting.

“Shit, no you can't. That's too much bro, this money thing is supposed to be just a token gesture, remember?”

“Don't expect me to spend so much on you every year. Or to get anything for X-mas. My best friend presents as an alpha, and I'll expect you to become rich and famous, and make this up to me by introducing me to Liv Taylor.” you press one hand over your heart and the back of your other to your forehead while throwing your head back, indicating an internal swoon. Dave doesn't laugh though. 

“Come on Dave, I know you save up for something.” you try to encourage some much needed happiness over your gift.

“Yeah, but I didn't think you'd buy it for me. For realsies Egbert, you can't do this.”

“Oh my fucking god, it's not that much! Just be happy and take it you big baby.” you groan and give him a weak push, he shakes his head. You're not sure if it's disbelieve, or if he is genuinely upset over this.

“You didn't rob a bank, did you?”

“Without you? Never. What do you think was that annoying summer job for? My three best friends present this winter, and I wanted to traditionally give money, and make a small present. Sorry about yours though. Dad wouldn't let me bring anything but the envelope, so it had to be something I could fit in there and wouldn't use up your _token gesture_.”

“I guess you mean these.” He pulls a stack of colorful, and obviously handmade coupons out of the envelope and you tense up as you anxiously wait for some kind of judgment, for the moment of truth when you'll finally know whether the idea was brilliant,, or unbelievably stupid. He flips through them and his mouth twitches, brows knitting tightly behind his shades. He doesn't say anything.

“It's game coupons and-”

“I can see that.” His voice is so breathy that for a moment your heart stops and your chest feels tight... oh.

“What the fuck John...” he takes a deep breath, trying hard to keep it nice and steady, but oh my god. “You're such an asshole.” he half whimpers, and you won. You are a genius. You did it. John Egbert is motherfucking king of the world!

“Hehehe, are you crying?” You still sit on the bed while he's standing in front of you so you lean forward, nudging your head against his hands until they almost rest on against the back of your head, pushing them out of the way to look him in the face.

“Shit, yeah right. No I'm not, nitwit. It's just... god. You're a dick, you know that?” he inspects the coupon for one round of Monopoly, and you think you can see his eyes behind the shades when he inspects the dumb glitter stars, and the crappy hand drawn monopoly figures on it. You made sure to write in big red and blue letters on the bottom of each and every one that this is PG-13 games for adults (13 for language and high possibility of violence happening, should Dave lose a game. You have no idea whether his hormones will make him aggressive or what).

“We can play games whenever you want, you know? I mean you just said 10 minutes ago no more games, but dude, don't pretend you don't want to. Oh, and look at the back.” he flips the slip of paper around and snorts. 

“ _If not used within the next 365 days coupon will lapse, and the waste of my efforts will be punished!_ … Haha, I didn't know you were into that. What kind of punishment would I have to face?” damn you're so good, look at him, he looks so fucking happy. You shrug.

“I'm creative, and I have one year to think about that.” the impish grin parting your lips is a promise, not a threat, but slowly dies down as Dave just keeps staring at you. He doesn't move, doesn't say a word. For a moment you're worried the emotion overload caused a system crash.

“Dave?” he steadies his breath, one more time going through the glittery mess you graced upon him, then pulls a bright green one out of the stack and gives it back to you. You're about to laugh at him because he has no card or board games here, but it's a coupon for a bro-hug. It has the big fat warning 'do not use when in heat' on it's left corner, written in a very nice cursive that you are irrationally proud of.

“Now?” you raise a brow at him, trying to think of a way to mock him, because wow super uncool, but he's having none of your shit and before you can open your mouth again Dave fists a hand into your sweater, pulling you up and into a hug. 

You're only mildly surprised by his actions when you feel how his chin digs into your shoulder, one hand still at the front of your sweater, holding you in place, the other pressing into your back and pulling you tight against him. And sure enough, his face quickly finds it's way back into the crook of your neck where he takes a hot deep breath. Slowly you close your arms around him and rub both hands over his shoulder blades in small, slow circles. You hope that's what is considered a reassuring gesture. 

Without doubt you'll make sure to show Dave that, even though some things are going to change in the future, he can always count on you. Even if he smells like apples now, Dave is still the same Dave, and you are still you. You rest the side of your head against his and nuzzle him. Shit, he really does smell extremely nice and tasty. Apples and- lemons? Cinnamon? No it's- … Does it really matter? It suits him. 

Yeah. The two of you are going to work everything out, one way or another. Best bros for life. 

Unfortunately you soon feel really weird holding him this tightly (you should have written a time limit for bro cuddles on that coupon!), and start to work his fingers off of your clothes, eventually you pinch the back of his hands until he reluctantly let's go, in order to shove him back towards the direction of the door, under minimal protest and a few halfassed _no homo_ -jokes from Dave’s side. 

You find Rose waited next to the door for you guys, she greets you with a suggestive smile that you can only roll your eyes to in unison with Dave. When he notices you thought the same thing you fistbump and go spend the next hour together as a Trio.

Rose and you delight in mocking Dave behind his back when people congratulate or compliment him, and to not get scolded by Dirk again for ruining Dave's big day you're having an eye out for Jade, who probably really didn't make it here in time, but will hopefully be at Rose's presentation. When you ask Rose about what they have planned for it tomorrow she is unusually tight lipped about it though, so you guess you have reason to be excited! 

When you get so bored that it get's hard not to think about pranking celebrities, you decide to dance with Rose, Dave refuses to do anything more than shift his weight a little and bop his head to the rhythm. Dork. See, that's what he get's for being cool! That doesn't look like too much fun. You stepping on Rose's feet isn't either though. No, actually it is. You're all snickering like little kids.

You're glad Daves Presentation didn't turn out to be super lame and stiff in the end.

And then, finally, you have to pay the check for being a glutton and downing all that Pepsi when you were still looking for Dave. You leave your friends to go and queue in the line for the bathroom, but when you come back you of course can find neither Rose nor Dave. You see Dirk run by a few times. You wonder why, because he should be smart enough to realize that Jade and Jake won't show up today, but then again, hope is a really strong motivation. 

It's weird to see that the people most annoyed buy all this party are most likely the hosts themselves, and only now start to wonder where David and Dad went.

 ***

It's really late when you finally drive home and your Dad doesn't look too well, when you ask him what's wrong he tries to distract you with lighthearted smalltalk, and questions about Dave. He was very proud when you took that summer job for the money gift for your friends presentation, and maybe even more excited over it than you. 

It's not until your Dad kisses your forehead good night, like the dumb fatherly father he is, and mentions you have glitter in your hair and smell pleasantly fresh and fruity, that you notice Dave probably left a mark during the hug. When you sniff your sweater after your shower you notice the strong apple scent, and that Dad probably already got aware of it on the ride home. It probably was a lot stronger when you were still on the party. 

You wince at the thought of Rose making out you smell, rightafter you were coming out of Dave's room. You only hope that all the other scents and odors, that were filling the air in that tight crowd, covered for what got stuck on you.

Only a few minutes before you fall asleep you remember that his odor was supposed to be only subtle when he wasn't in heat, and what exactly the fact that ever since that hug his scent clinged to your clothes might mean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well? Watcha think? *eyebrow wiggle*
> 
> Next chap finally has mature content! YAY! :D
> 
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> Thank you for all for reading all this and for your bookmarks kudos and especially comments! I notice and appreciate them all and they keep me going! You guys are my motor! Writing wouldn't be so much fun without you and I want you all to feel tightly brain-hugged! :3 You are all super great readers!


	3. Olfactory Overload

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank god it's Christmas! Friends and Family: ASSEMBLE!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PART ONE OF THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL! MY CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR YOU READERS! :D
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> I used this chapter to explain as many things about their culture as I could, so John will explain a lot to you guys. Originally I didn't plan to explain the finer stuff of pack structure to you and leave it as superficial as possible as to not bore you guys. But whatever! It's Christmas!
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> Also, Jake English. It's not what it looks like. I can explain! Just wait for it! I'm sorry. EEP. And don't worry, second puberty can cause temporary ooc behavior, but if you wait for it you will find the reason behind this rather plausible. Puberty is a bitch huys. I don't envy them for having this shit TWICE. And then with animalistic urges kicking in. That's just... I'm sorry but- I'm not really all that sorry.
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> Proofread by the magical, wonderful, indreadible RainingApples!!

She smells like rain and lavender.

You’re sitting next to Rose on her front porch, sharing a blanket, draped over both, your legs and hers, and watching the snow slowly fall into her garden and the woods behind. The sky is pitch black, but starry. Warm white electric lights are adorning the surrounding nicely trimmed hedges and trees, spreading a soft glow which suits her refined mansion, and are somewhat tasteful. You get the feeling that the colorful lights that hang from your home back in Washington would look tacky here. Your breaths turns into white little puffs, and you close your eyes for a few seconds.

It’s peaceful.

That is, if you can blend out the Christmas carols bellowed inside. There is still a little space between you both, neither your shoulders nor your thighs touch. Not because of any awkwardness or because you’d have issues with closeness. That’s just how it is now.

It’s the evening of the 24th, and you’re all spending Christmas at the Lalondes’, like every year on every Holiday, and will exchange presents in the morning. Right now the only ones that aren’t here yet are the Striders. Funny how this year even the Harley-Englishes made it before them. The Striders are never the first to arrive somewhere, but it’s slowly getting ridiculous. 

It’s almost 6 PM. They were supposed to be here at 1 PM. And after all together 2 hours worth of singing cheery carols with everyone, a lifetime of cutting out cookies and being told you’d get salmonella from eating the dough, but doing it anyway, and a few merry rounds of random card games, you needed a break. 

And apparently you weren’t the only one. Rose offered you to sit with her and naturally you did. You’re not doing anything special though. At first you had a little smalltalk, exchanged some news and views of the current world affairs, nothing too important. It wasn’t long before you tugged the blanket tighter around both of your lower halfs and clutched harder to your cups. Hers with rose-tea, yours with hot cocoa, and cream that stuck uncomfortably to you upper lip, the moist remains after licking it off almost seemed to freeze on your skin. 

The cold bites your faces, even though there is no wind. Probably because the sky is so clear. Thick bright snowflakes silently fall to the ground, becoming one with the white cloth covering everything around you. It’s beautiful. Really, really beautiful, and you wonder what it would look like if you just went for a hike in the woods now. What it smells like, what it sounds like, what it would feel like. Maybe throw yourself right into the fluffy looking snow and make a snow angel. Build a snowman. Build an igloo. Build a clown, and punch it into the ground. If only snow wasn’t this cold.

You can hear the intro to _Deck the Halls_ from inside, and you can hear Roxy sing along, loud enough for you to make out that her voice cracks a little at the really high parts. Next to you Rose quietly hums along. That’s probably her way of telling you she wants to go back in. Her fingers and face are frozen red already, yours probably too. As nice as it is out here, a blanket and a cup of hot beverage just aren’t enough to keep you warm. Not for longer than ten minutes.

“Uh, do you want to go back inside?” you point over your shoulder and she considers you for a long moment before her gaze wanders back to the woods and she thoughtfully takes a sip from her half empty cup.

The faint scent of rain and lavender comes from somewhere around her neck, although she wears a fluffy white scarf, and it goes nice with her rose tea and the smell of snow. It’s funny how snow and rain smell different, yet in combination are just as nice as on their own. Maybe because they are both water, just in different aggregation states.

“Let’s do that. I guess it’s better not to hold out until my fingers die off. And wouldn’t it be a shame if they did before we got the chance to play our infamous duet and everyone had to go to bed without it? It would be the tragic end of a truly wonderful Christmas tradition. Just imagine the disappointment.” she looks expectantly into your direction but you truly can’t say you are too pumped. She’s a tease with the violin and always makes you stumble.

“Is your baby grand even tuned?” you ask, but she just smirks, and the moment she gets up you let the blanket slip from your lap to wrap it around her, ever the gentleman. You earn a truly grateful cute smile from her that you think makes it pay off tenfold, but you regret it instantly. Your legs cool out so quickly that even the short walk back inside is too long, and you shudder when you finally slip back inside where it’s cozy and warm. 

Your eyes are automatically drawn to the gigantic Christmas tree that stands in the foyer. If you go up the stairs and stand on tippytoes you can touch the big gold star at the top. You tested it when you arrived.

When you were younger Bro made you kids believe that if you rubbed that star at the top it would grant you a wish. Naturally you'd attempt to do just that every time you passed it and failed. When you were 11 Dad told you uncle Crocker had cancer, that Christmas Jane was inconsolable and constantly at the verge of crying, even though her Dad was so cheerful and everyone did their best to cheer her up- you made Jade hold you by the back of your shirt while you leaned over the banister reaching out for that star, but still fell in the tree and almost broke your neck. It’s funny how easy it is now. How much you grew. And a little sad. You really are leaving childhood behind you, aren’t you?

You just stand there for a moment, lost in nostalgia, in awe of the blinking monstrosity. Baubles of shapes and sizes, gold, red, and green, more warm white electric lights, and loads of golden tinsel.

Rose snickers behind your back before she goes to hang her fluffy white coat into the cloak room. You probably sound like a sublime idiot, but you never fail to be amazed at- well, the loads of festive decoration this mansion sports. The holly, misteltoe, and evergreen, candles and figurines… Last Christmas it was all white, silve,r and blue. It never seems to be exactly the same and can’t imagine how much work that must be. You know the Lalondes don’t do it all by themselves, but it’s still impressive.

You slowly close your mouth and wriggle out of your knee-length brown coat. It’s kind of weird how all of your friends are, uh… rich people. 

Rose’s Mom Roxette is a scientist of some sort, working for the government, all very secretive. Her aunt Rosalin is a celebrated author, she writes stuff about magic you think. Her mother and older sister Roxy are crazy about her books, and even though Rose pretends she isn’t, you know she is a huge wizard-nerd. Roxy is the one and only person to ever hack and take over Google, she got employed immediately.

Dave’s Dad is some sort of semi popular DJ and rap-artist, you don’t know much about that though because frankly that sounds a bit boring. David is a famous director and screenwriter, but you have only ever seen one of his movies, and quickly decided it's just not your thing. Bro is a- a porn-dude of some sort (and that is already more than you ever wanted to know). And Dirk works as a freelance AI-programmer. Plus a lot of robotics and engineering companies compete for his attention.

Jade’s mother, Judith English, is the head of a big company specializing on, uh… computers? Her father, Jacob Harley, is some kind of explorer and big game hunter, you’ve seen all the documentations on wildlife he appeared in when you were a kid. And her brother is… uhm, uhhhh, her half -brother Jake is a really nice guy? Sometimes? When he pays attention? You are not sure what he’s good at. He’s good-looking? Does that count as a talent?

And then there is your Nanna, June Crocker, who is the current head of Betty Crocker, and your Dad's twin brother, William, who worked for Nanna until the cancer thing got really bad. Your cousin Jane who inherits the whole Company one day, and Nanna’s new husband, Jane calls him Poppop, who is a really popular comedian! You dind’t even really know what his last name was before he married your Nanna. Johan… Something. He’s actually pretty good though! 

Huh… You really are surrounded by a lot of incredibly interesting people. How did you even end up in the same expensive private school with Rose and Dave? That probably should have been impossible. You guess it was your Nanna's doing, but you never asked and you don't really want to know anyway.

You remember that you first saw Rose and Dave on Thanksgiving here. You think you were 10 or something like that. And it has something to do with how Rose’s Mom is friends with your Grandpa’s life partner, Judy, as well as Roxy being friends with Jane, so you and your Dad were politely invited along.

You immediately befriended Rose, and avoided Dave like a Peanut. You didn’t _want_ to get to know him. You mistook nervousness and a rather bad people skills for arrogance and rudeness. You think Rose wanted to explain to you that Dave, like herself, was home schooled, but other than her suffered from the influence of his brothers, hence wasn’t able to say anything when someone he wanted to befriend talked to him, or would say something really dumb and boring of even offensive, yet Dave had stopped her.

You grin when you remember how desperate Dave was to make you think he was cool and aloof. Which he kind of is now (kind of), but back then he was a tense little mess. You just didn’t care enough to try and see it. You only ever came to befriend Dave when he transferred into your school, and even then you needed a while.

God, you were so mad when your Dad made you go to his birthday party, though today you are incredibly thankful for it. That’s pretty much the day you realized Dave doesn't think he is cool, and is really just a weird and awkward guy, with no _real_ friends except for Rose and Jade. Check this. He’s 13 and the only people that like him for himself and not for being some celebrity kid with money were two girls, that were kind of rich themselves and lived super far away from him, and one of them was his sister. That’s sad! Today you feel really awful for that prank you played on him that day.

It was his fucking birthday party, he was so clueless and probably just glad you finally stopped treating him like king Joffrey from Game of Thrones, and he actually ate that thing when you offered it to him without second thought. He didn’t doubt you for a second. These days he is wary with stuff like that, over time he learned from experience. However, back then that ruined not only his day but also his first two months at your school. You felt so guilty you never told him what you did and just insta-befriended him.

He was such an idiot. A naive, spoiled, lanky, preteen whose only conversations with other kids his age happened over the internet. It’s weird how despite that Dave was actually a good kid, behind the cool kid façade.

Nowadays you get the feeling that sometimes he is actually cool. Mind you it’s usually the dorky kind of cool, but there are moments like when he presented and you caught the first glimpse of him through the crowd and for a moment he looked like one of them. Like he really belonged into the model-soup surrounding you. Or like- when Dirk reprimanded you for kidding around with Dave and making him look silly on his big day, and Dave came around the corner and actually challenged Dirk and _won_ without having to say much. Probably because Dirk was busy and it was Dave’s day, but when Dave stood protectively in front of you it was the first time you felt Dave was manly cool. You only realized that days later and of course didn’t tell him that, also he ruined it with that weird brohug, but still. He’s getting gradually cooler. If he continues like this he’ll have a nice girlfriend in no time.

Makes you miss the gangly boy you made fun of, who didn’t know how much it cost to watch a movie and casually asked David for 100 bucks and _got them_ , who send you a cab with an invitation instead of just giving you a call, because he wanted to impress you and thought that way it as less likely you’d say no, who wrapped questions about normal people’s everyday life into self made SB&HJ gift wrap, locked them up in a box, locked the box in a chest and buried that in irony with varying grades of earnest on top, because he didn't want to 'come on too strong'. Now you’re both tall and wide shouldered. You don’t feel celeb world is so cool and special anymore, and he counts his change at Starbucks, is the king of public transportation, and is so blunt you seldomly have to ask a third time what he’s even talking about, and it’s you who has to shoot him a glance before you say or do something to know whether it’s appropriate or not.

You have no idea how he is able to understand all these new adult life rules. Like, not even 2 weeks before his presentation he was upset and a nervous wreck, and then you see him on his big day and he is smoother than ever. Okay, away from the crowd in his room he slipped up and got uncool again, but seriously, from one day to the next he seemed to have had puberty enlightenment or something. And Rose too! You wonder if that’s an alpha thing or if that’s genetics and you’ll come to mysteriously understand it all when you present yourself.

You gnaw your lip as you put your coat away and try not to think of how much luck you had to not only meet them, but get them to want to form a pack with you. As you enter the living room, your eyes are drawn to the smaller Christmas tree, this one covered in candy canes, colorful blinking lights and baubles, one like you know it and love but that looks incredibly silly in this house. Your gaze wanders over to the couches and armchairs around the fireplace, and the family and friends situated in them. A happy little smile lightens your features as you head for them and plop down next to your Dad.

“Mrs Lalonde said she will let us use her laptop to video-chat with Dad and Nanna, I suppose you want to join us?” Jane smiles at you from the other side of your Dad and you nod quickly.

“Is everyone going to say hi, or just us?” you point in between you and Jane, completely ignoring your Dad sitting in between you two.

Dad clears his throat. “Just me, Janey, your Grandpa, and now you. We wouldn’t want to exhaust him.” he looks a little sad, you know he’s putting up a brave front because he thinks uncle Crocker wouldn’t like to see his brother worried. Or any of you.

“Okay then, just give the word.” you sigh and look around. Across from you, Grandma English and Rosa Lalonde seem to have an almost whispered conversation, Bec lies half in Grandpa Harley’s lap and enjoys a good scratch. Rose sits more for herself, feet drawn up onto her armchair, and knitting what appears to be an emerald green bobble hat. 

“Mrs. Lalonde went upstairs just a minute ago, she will be back with the Laptop s- HEY!” you try to snatch some of the popcorn Jane is stringing on a twine together with cranberries. She slaps your fingers but you push some into your mouth anyway. Unsalted, unsweetened. It’s actually meant to be bird food and hung in the trees surrounding the house. 

“What? There is still more than enough. I can make you more if it bothers you that much, durr.” Tastes a bit like cardboard anyway, but damn it smells nice.

“Don’t you durr me, mister!” she frowns and throws some of the popcorn she just protected at you, effectively forcing Dad to end your fun by getting up and declaring he’ll go to make more popcorn and bring back some cookies for you to snack on while he’s at it.

Jane frowns at you and lifts a foot in fleecy red Santa slippers to push at your knee and returns to impaling cranberries an popcorn on her needle. What?? It’s not your fault that your Dad is like- annoyingly perfect, is it? She should have known that would happen! Uncle Crocker is pretty much the same, right?

You roll your eyes at her. She is two years older than you, she shouldn’t act like you’re so super childish. Just last month during Thanksgiving she send you an obviously self made vine of a turkey with a mustache over the hole to be stuffed and holding a spoon with stuffing in front of it. If you’re silly, then she’s goofy!

You are just about to pout when Roxy and Jake stumble out of the kitchen with a cup of eggnog each. You make eye contact with Roxy and you didn’t think it possible but her smile widens even further before she waves her bundle of mistletoe in your direction. It’s already shrunk a good deal, god knows where she pinned it to the ceiling just for fun, waiting for people to step underneath it and make them aware of it. Last year she made sure her Mom and your Dad would land under almost every mistletoe in the house.

Your eyes widen as she holds the spray over Jake’s head “No, Roxy that isn’t-” and smooches a big noisy kiss on his cheek. She quickly gives him a push that sends him stumbling and almost makes eggnog slop over, before rushing towards your couch. 

“Jane.” you whisper and give her knee a little pat but Roxy is already there, almost knocking the bowl of popcorn over when she squeezes herself in Jane’s lap, the hand with the misteltoe already over her head and pushing a kiss somewhere into your cousins face.

“Rox- UHMF! Stop it! I have a needle here, you could hurt yourself!” Jane huffs a little bewildered. 

“Awww Janeyyyy, sourpuss Janey.” Roxy giggles, cuddling into her smaller friends lap like a cat but is promptly encouraged by said friend to get back up.

“If you want to help me you are welcome to join me, otherwise I’d recommend you move on.” Jane rolls her eyes because she knows very well that the cute blonde won’t stop her third round of _'catch everyone under the mistletoe with generous cheating'_ halfway through to help with the festive bird food. Roxy only gives a tired groan that spells “party pooper”.

“Janey you remember what fun is, right?”

“Oh, I’m having plenty of fun. That is when I don’t have to fear I’ll accidentally push a needle into your eye.” Jane wriggles a mischievous eyebrow at Roxy and you can’t help it.

“And nobody touches your popcorn, or cuts cookies the wrong way and eats the dough.” you add with a grin. Jane lifts a leg to give you another soft kick, while Roxy slips out of her lap and comes up to you, mistletoe still in hand, to plant one on you too. Seriously, she could have had it a lot easier with one of those hats. The one with a mistletoe on a stick on it. You should get her one next year!

You get a soft little kiss on the area right under your cheekbone and when you open your eyes the tipsy blonde is already on her way to your grandparents and her aunt. You can see how Rose keeps her older sister under review out of the corner of her eye, well aware that she won’t get around lipstick stain on her cheek either. Heh.

You snicker to yourself and sink back into the comfy cushions while you take a deep breath. Absentmindedly you remove the cosmetic remnants of the smooch from your face with the palm of your hand. The air is heavy with the smell of cinnamon, cookies, popcorn, hot beverages, and candles. 

Well, and people. 

That’s right, you can smell people now! It’s funny, a few weeks ago you only could smell people in heat, and that barely did anything for you no matter how close you stood to them. Made you a little woozy, but nothing more. Now, when you stand or walk next to Rose on a normal day, you don’t even have to get uncomfortably close like you did with Dave on his presentation, and you can get a hint of it. Everyone else too, you already knew your Dad smelled like vanilla, but you never noticed before that for example Jane smelled like bubblegum, or that Roxy smelled this intensely like fresh strawberries in spring.

It’s a whole new world, a world that everyone else seems to have known of before and you alone were unaware of, and now you finally get a first peek of it. It’s kind of exciting! Especially since suddenly you understand a lot more of the stuff you learned in Sex-Ed. Not so much the sex part, that would be weird when all alone with your family and friends. No, you’re talking about the social aspect of adult life. And how it’s different from how things have been up till now.

When you were greeting Rose this morning you reflexively raised your chin to bare your throat ever so slightly, and when she gave you this appreciative little smile it made your heart skip a beat. Not that you really think your old crush on her is flaming back up. That would really suck. No, it’s more like- Like… Right now, Rose is the alpha in this house.

Her Mom might have the last say in things, for all you can see Rose hasn’t challenged her Mom over the position of family head yet, which would be the natural thing for Rose to do now, because her Mom is a beta. For all you know Rose not only outranks her Mom now, but also should have the urge to secure a high rank in society,dominate the people that surround her, display authority, and that usually starts within the family.

You can see that Roxy already submitted to Rose, though! That’s really easy to spot because they move a little different around each other. Roxy will always make room for Rose when Rose walks past her and when Rose sits still Roxy would seek body contact, rub their shoulders or cheeks together, or kiss her cheek.

Even if they are family that doesn’t mean they’ll naturally be friendly with each other just because of that, ranks aren’t really important to you as long as you are considered a child, but in adult life it means everything, and determines your boundaries and that of others. It feels like when you grow up trusting people, even those close to you, becomes a lot more difficult, and you need to be in control of every situation in every minute. Which is why if Roxy hadn’t submitted to Rose all that cuddling and kissing wouldn’t have been possible, not without Rose getting annoyed with her and needing to put her back in line. But Rose actually smiles about it every now and then, though she seems slightly tired of it already.

No alpha, especially not one in second puberty, would calmly let someone they outrank act this familiar with them if that person hadn’t submitted properly. Something you still have to do for Rose and Dave. You’re not sure how to go about that though.

This _is_ a tight knit group, so you don’t have to feel embarrassed, and you are not considered part of adult society yet, so you’re not obliged to anything yet, but somehow you all feel you are not so far away from it for them to really consider you a unwitting child either. You are still friends, and the courteous little distance you and Rose keep to each other isn’t a big deal, but you definitely feel the difference in… You don’t know, it’s not uncomfortable but you want to go back to how it was anyway. You’re not sure if you can actually submit to her just like that though.

Jade just did it without second thought when she arrived. In front of everyone. They laughed. Like, not about her, it was more an adoring friendly laugh. Let’s suppose you’d have done it just like that, you’d feel belittled if they laughed when you did it anyway. If you did it just like Jade you could have probably leaned against Rose on the porch, and shared some warmth as you would have when she was still considered a kid. And you really want to. You want back in on that. It’s just not that easy…

Oh, but just because Rose is a person of authority now doesn’t mean you’d let her order you around. You’d still put the word of the actual full fledged adults here over hers, like every sensitive human being in this short-term pack arrangement would, it’s just that pleasing Rose is a good thing? More so than usual? Argh, okay maybe it is a littler harder to explain than it is to feel.

It’s not like you want to catch her attention and make her your priority like when you had this crush on her or anything, you’d like to make everyone as happy as possible, only that now making Rose happy gives you a little boost from your inner chemistry set, and that’s nice you guess? Yeah that sounds good. At least better than anything else you can come up with. Something in your brain gives you the impression that disrespecting Rose (not that you’d ever have done that before) and in her own house at that, would be a really dangerous thing now. You can’t say in what sense though.

If that is how all people feel about alphas, then you think you can understand how the social system happened to evolve to this point, and why alphas are the most powerful caste no matter what. You learned about it before, but now you understand. And you’re not even in your second puberty yet. It get’s even more exciting when you think about how much stronger the impressions will become when the time finally comes for you to present. Alphas are really powerful, not necessarily in terms of physical strength though. Rose probably couldn’t take you down, but you wonder if, when angered, something bad would happen on the pheromone front to weaken you and give her an unfair advantage. Not like toxic gas or anything, although that would be a good idea for a movie.

An experiment gone wrong, an alpha on the loose, not knowing that his molecular structure has been altered to the point of turning his pheromones into sweet poison, and he’ll loose everyone he loves. He becomes some tragic hero, hunting down the people that did this to him, and then he meets that lovely omega woman, that makes him forget all the evil, but that he can’t get too close to, and she thinks he’s not interested, yet actually he is protecting her in his own way and keeping rivals away in the shadows, only to discover that the man responsible for what happened to him, is her father! Bam bam baaaaam!

Fuck that’s actually kind of good. You have to remember to tell Dave about it later! You snicker into your fist and when you see your Dad return with cookies and fresh hot popcorn you decide to get up and go to get a quick refill of your hot chocolate.

“John! :D” you don’t manage to dodge in time. Before you know what’s happening a pair of slim arms slings around your neck from behind and all the weight of one Jade Harley dangles from it, threatening to strangle you and at the same time rubbing the faint scent of pineapples and flowers off on you.

“J-Jade!” you cough and she chuckles, slowly slipping down your broad back until her feet meet the floor again. You continue to cough a few times and her expression becomes one of slight worry.

“John?”

“Lunatic.” you whisper and get promptly punched into your side, sending you flinching because she knows exactly how to use what little strength she has. You let out a little “Oof.” with a gush of air, followed by a wide grin.

“Jooooohn.” she repeats your name a third time. Now a little softer, warmer. You smile back. About to engage into a a rad game of let’s see who get’s tired of saying the others name in weird pitches first, when-

“John! Old chap!” you are nearly tackled to the ground and can see Rose chuckle at the sight from her armchair from over Jades shoulder when you try not to push Jade to the floor on accident. Fucking hell. And you did so good at avoiding him, too.

“Jake, what the fuck, back off!” you give him a push to get some distance between you while he beams at you like it’s Christmas morning. Which it almost is.

“Good gravy! I didn’t hurt you, did I? Oh, is that a reindeer sweater? I have to admit it looks ad- dashing on you.” he picks at your sleeve and you quickly pull your arm away. He doesn’t look too worried. Not worried at all. And your sweater is none of his business! Dad wouldn’t let you wear the funny one you wanted and now you are stuck with the idiot reindeer with the nose that blinks if you press it! You stare at him blankly for a moment, unable to decide what to do with this tiny, tiny little man. He is 26, how can he be so small?

“Jake _English_. Do I need to go over the concept of personal space with you again?” and god do you mean that. Jade can’t help the little snort escaping her, but she doesn’t do anything to help you. Or explain to him that touching you without consent is inappropriate. You’re not a little kid, you are NOT.

However, Jake still seems to think you’re joking and you really want to put him in his place, but you’re the only ‘kid’ here and with that automatically outranked by everyone. You are rankless. But that also means that nobody can hold you responsible for acting outside of etiquette, you are still 4 months away from presenting. And that’s why Jake treats you like that, why he can’t see your personal space bubble. Because he regards you as a fucking child even though you are over a head taller than him! Even Jade is taller than him!

“Oh come on now, John, it’s okay if it stays within the family. Don’t tell me you’re getting shy around us because your great moment is closing in on you. You really don’t need to worry about friggin’ formalities with us, it’s not like growing up means you can’t engage in our usual roughhousing and prattling anymore.” he tries to cheer you and you roll your eyes at him, lean your forehead into your free still rather cold hand to tend to the headache you’re going to get.

Jake is a nice guy. But he is…. Work. And he just doesn’t read the cues.

You just called him _English_ , the Englishes are not part of your blood pack, even though your family trees run together. Your birth pack, the innermost circle of your family, consists of Egberts only. You have actually the smallest birth pack of every one here. Crocker, and Harley are still blood related to you, but that’s not birth pack anymore so they fall into the middle ring, blood pack. Jake isn’t a blood relative and neither is Grandma English. She already had him when she moved in with Grandpa Harley. Poppop Crocker is also not part of the blood pack. They are in the outer ring and are only family to you.

That’s how it works. Anyone who can count to ten should have already learned about that. Everyone depicted in the Family tree, no matter how far away from you is family, and you're supposed to treat family with consideration and lenity.

Everyone you are blood related to is part of your big blood pack, these are people you should be able to trust and that you can act outside of etiquette with without consequences. If required you have to take responsibility with/for your blood pack and/or take care of them, or they of/for you. The highest ranked member of the blood pack nearby usually has the most responsibility. Right now that is Grandpa Harley for you, your dad, Jane, and Jade. For Roxy and Rose that’s her mom, Rose might outrank her mom socially but legally she will only be held responsible once she passes either the age of 21 or publicly proves herself, whatever that means. Once the Striders arrive Rose's highest rank member of her blood pack will be David, for Roxy it is her Mom, since her Dad wasn’t a Strider. To Roxy Striders are family but not blood related.

Funny little thing to know, the structure you are all in right now is called “big pack” or "temporary pack". A big pack is an occasional impromptu thing where several different pack structures meet and spend time together. The highest ranked member out of the whole bunch has the responsibility for everyone and keeps things peaceful. The highest ranked member in a big pack isn’t necessarily an alpha, but can be a beta, like in your case. Logically David would outrank everyone else here and would have to keep things peaceful and make sure everyone is safe and sound. Have an eye on things. But here David usually steps down for Grandpa Harley to take over, even though he’s a beta, simply because grandpa Harley is an authority and better with these kinds of things. When Nanna is here she outranks everyone though and automatically takes over. Nanna is an alpha of the highest rank and you don’t think anyone ever tried to mess with her. She’s a born empress and if you treat her with respect and are nice she has a heart of gold! Nanna is great.

At work usually you build a big pack with your colleagues and your boss would be the highest ranked member, he’s responsible for you and your team. His boss is responsible for him and the other bosses of small groups. And that’s how it goes up from there. The big bosses never take responsibility for the lowest member of the chains. At work you are only ever responsible for the next lower group. Other than in blood- and social packs you have no emotional responsibility towards the members of a big pack you are in. A big pack only exists during a meeting and looses meaning and value when it breaks up after a meeting. It’s a structure only existing for the moment. And it only breaks up when the highest ranked member says so. That is a matter of respect for the job they do for everyone else.

A birthpack includes yourself, your siblings, your parents and if you have any, your children. Aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, and cousins don't coun't as birthpack. So for you your birthpack is tiny. Your Parents, which you only ever knew one of to begin with, and you yourself. For your Dad his birthpack are currently Grandpa Harley, Nanna, Uncle Crocker, and you his son. Jane is blood related to him but not birthpack anymore, same with the new spouses of his parents, they are family but neither blood- nor birthpack. You treat your birthpack with utmost deference and usually with blind trust. People who can’t do that are really pityful, since everybody will look at your birthpack your whole life long and judge you by it. If the people who should be closest to you aren't trustworty or don't think you are trustworthy, that says a lot about you.

Back to the present. It’s kind of brazen of Jake to just act as if he was so closely related to you. It’s not like you don’t like him and grandma English or anything, they _are_ family after all, but lately you started to pay attention to how close people come to you and started to put people into boxes. People you don’t mind being touched by even if it’s out of the blue, people who’s shoulders you’d sniff for a greeting if they offered, and people you don’t want to turn your back to anymore. Maybe Jake is just- Oh my god he’s touching, Jake would you please let go this is uncomfortable.

“Okay, no. Nope. Hands. Where are your hands. If the answer you came up with is _on John’s arm_ then I’d think again because that is a very disquieting answer.” you say and try not to sound too disgruntled.

He just doesn’t know when to stop. And he smells like pumpkin pie. Why the fuck does he smell like pumpkin pie, can’t he smell like something else?? And how does it come that outside of his family he is one of the most drawn back people you ever met, but to everyone he is related to in one way or another he looses every sense for boundaries? You know he means well, but he overdoes it! You frown at him and Jake quickly lifts both hands, retracting the offending one from you in the process, and wriggling his fingers to show they are now empty and free of any “John’s arm”.

“Whoa nelly, I get it already. What’s wrong with you pal, you used to engage in fisticuffs with me rather frequently up to last time we met. Is there a problem? You can talk to us, you know?” he is so honestly confused by your reaction that you pity him a little. You really are mad with him for treating you like you’d belong at the kiddy table, but how is he so clueless at his age? How the fuck does he survive in the real world? And people call _you_ naive! Jake is so fucking green he should be a grasshopper. Or a frog or something.

You turn to Jade for help who is giving you a strange look, but she finally get’s the clue. It’s not like you can actually put Jake in his place for disrespecting you, because he still has every right to do so. You probably should just try to say it nicely, but right now he is just so irritating, and you’re not sure he’d take you seriously. And even though you really don’t want him all over you, you don’t want to actually hurt him either. Neither physically nor emotionally.

In addition to that you are not so sure how his state of mind has been recently, and you’re not going to ask. You asked once, two years ago, and it was… unpleasant.

“Jake, what John is trying to say is that he is a young man and you’re his not that much older uncle, and you still treat him like a baby.” she pokes him in the chest with a pointer. You could have said that too, really, but if you’d have done that it would have come out like the nagging of a little kid.

Jake glances up at you and you press your lips into a thin line, eyebrows raising as you shrug at him.

“Huh, my apologies John, I didn’t realize you were in _that_ stage already. But I guess there is no reliable schedule for these kind of things. You could make this a lot easier on you if you mentioned something like this at the start of a meeting. You know, we are all not blessed with the ability to read your mind, though without doubt that would be a pretty neat skill. I imagine that to be quite the adventure! No harm done though, don’t worry.” He smiles again, though not as radiant anymore almost pats you on the arm, but remembers in time and awkwardly balls a fist in the air. He doesn’t know what to do with it and oh fuck now he starts to swing it to the rhythm of “Wonderful Christmas Time” by Paul McCartney that’s playing in the background, and as with every song so far Roxy sings along whenever she is not busy with her cup of hot wine punch. You have to try hard not to roll your eyes at him.

And you don’t really know what state he is talking about either. You are feeling fine! He is the annoying one! Can’t he just leave you alone? You don’t really feel like hanging with your strange little uncle. Shoo!

“Did Jane just call you?” it falls out of your mouth before you can stop yourself and your acting is shamefully poor. That was mean. That’s not even a prank, you really just don’t want to spend time with him right now. What the fuck is wrong with you?? It’s Christmas! Now you feel kind of guilty.

“Oh, maybe? I guess I should go take a look, one doesn’t let a lady wait.” he dusts his shoulder off of something that’s only there in his head before he winks at you and makes this finger-pistol thing, that you thought was really cool when you were little but that now is just kind of embarrassing to watch you guess? “Well, I’ll come back to you later then! Jade, don’t you two leave without me!”

“Wouldn’t dream of it!” she calls after him but he’s already sprinting to look for his niece.

You finally sigh in relieve. Man, you really are very down for some quality time with Rose an Jade and Dave, your social pack! Your blood pack too, counting in Dad, uncle Crocker, Jane, Jade, and your grandparents. Though only grandpa and his cohabitant (Jake’s and Jades Mom) came. Nanna and her new husband stayed back with uncle Crocker, because… You know, he isn’t fit for traveling. Which is sad, you really wanted to see him. You can imagine he thought he’d spoil Jane’s Christmas fun if she stayed at home with him and made her come even if he couldn’t. You’ll give him a call tomorrow morning. A man needs to take care of his packs. You don’t feel like getting overly friendly with everyone else though, maybe with Roxy though. Roxy is just great!

They are _all_ really great people. You like them around you and want to celebrate with them and are looking forward to all the fun! Oh and fun it will be! But… it’s a bit awkward all of a sudden. It wasn’t when you were on Roses presentation. You hugged everyone like usual, fooled around and everything. But today? It’s odd. You feel like you could step on somebody’s toes any moment, and you really don’t want that, you’re not used to it at all and in the back of your head something is whispering for you to tread carefully.

And then there is the curious case of Jake suddenly becoming really pesky. He already knew you when you were still diapered, and you used to regard him as someone rather close. You wonder a little why you don’t feel like that anymore.

You get another punch from Jade in the side of your ribs and it brings you back to reality, this time you gasp and can’t help but press a hand on the slightly aching spot,and glare down at her. She quickly delivers another on the same spot.

“Ouch! Jade that-”

“What are you doing??” she hisses at you, careful not to draw too much attention from the the Lalondes, your Grandparents, and Dad, currently all lounging comfortably in the armchairs and couches around the fireplace not far from you. The dining and living room are actually combined. It’s one spacy comfy room.

She quickly scans her surroundings before she takes your hand, and pulls you towards the kitchen. It’s been a while since she’s snapped at you like this, so you immediately shut your trap.

“Would it kill you to sort that out a little nicer? You _do_ know how much he likes you, yes? You’re the only one left in our big shared pack that he outranks, and that’s only because you haven’t presented yet! Can’t you at least _act_ like you look up to him? Do you think he’s stupid?? He knows you tried to get rid of him, he’s just too nice to want to believe it!” she looks really irritated and you draw your shoulders up and lower your head a little.

“I don’t know, he just- I have no idea. Look, I’m sorry, okay?” you want to tell her it’s the pumpkin-pie, but even you know that’s absurd.

“You’re saying that to the wrong person. Don’t! Be! Mean! To! My! Big! Brother!” she emphasizes the last words with a punch each, not hard, but enough to make you get the message. 

Jake’s manic depression is kind of something nobody talks about, yet the whole family knows it. You’re not sure about the Lalondes and the Striders though. Maybe Rose knows. She knows way too much for her own good. But really, how hard is it to guess that the mood swings he wants to hide so desperately aren’t just mood swings? … And yet you still had to be like that with him, even though he seemed rather cheery. You’re a bit of a dick sometimes. What are you talking about, you’re always kind of a dick, only that usually you have better reasons for it.

“I know! I just couldn’t help it! He is just really annoying all of a sudden. Was he always this annoying? I don’t know, why didn’t I notice that before?”

“… Really, John?” she eyes you sceptically and you shrug apologetically. “It’s hormones of course.” she continues and you can’t quite figure out how she came to that conclusion. 

“But aren’t they supposed to do… other things?” you are not really confident in your knowledge anymore. There have been too many new things coming up too fast that you are vaguely aware of learning at school but never understood. And then some, that Sex-Ed only hinted at or just brushed, and some it didn’t even touch for some reason, even though they are really important! How come everyone else is so confident in their knowledge??

“Uh, yeah! Obviously, you dummy! But not _just_ that!” she rubs her hands over your face, slightly exasperated. “Let your auntie Jade give you some nice advice!” she mocks you a little and you can’t help but groan, she _had_ to remember you, didn’t she?

“Can’t we just pretend to be cousins?”

“Can you just get over yourself and act a little submissive towards Jake to make him happy?” she raises a brow at you, and you avoid eye contact. You really don’t want to provoke her. She might be a beta, but she knows her shit, always did, and she bit you when you both were 7. You still have the scar. Like hell are you going to play with fire on that one! 

“I try, okay?” you pout and she seems satisfied enough.

“You know that alphas get extremely possessive and competitive, right? What not many people talk about, and some even deny, is that betas and omegas experience similar things. Though the lower we are going to be in rank, the less extreme it is. I admit I didn’t know about it either before I felt it myself. With second puberty you automatically want to determine where your place in the world is, so you start to provoke your friends and family and see who budges and who you are willing to take on for ranking. And it’s really low that you had to pick Jake of all people.” Jade glowers and your eyebrows jump to your hairline.

“I didn’t pick him.” you shake your head and she sighs as if you’d act really childish about this.

“Well, you’re doing it anyway! Pick a fight with someone else! Leave Jake alone!”

“But I don’t _want_ to fight anyone! I _really_ don’t want to fight anyone! Who would I fight anyway? You’re all my friends and family, kind of, I’d be a total asshole to actually hurt one of you. And I really didn’t pick Jake. He just- smells like pumpkin pie and I kind of can’t really stand it? Which is stupid, I like pumpkin pie. And whenever he says something I only want to groan and- … argh, block my ears or something! I really didn’t mean to pick a fight! Really. Jade?” can your muscles get any tighter? You focus on the cookies cooling on the counter while Jade leans in a little, to consider you.

“… Huh. That’s weird.” She seems honestly surprised, and even as if she’s believing you now and you should be thankful, but somehow the fact that the way you are feeling is weird to her is not reassuring. 

“Uh, why?” You take a quick look at her, and now she has her arms crossed in front of your chest, head lowered a little and eyebrows drawn together in concentration.

“Well, because we all kind of picked fights. Rose and Dave did. I did. As far as I know our siblings too. I heard Jane picked massive fights!! Even though she turned out as a beta. Remember that we all had our bets on alpha?” she looks up to smile at you just remembering it, but that’s not what you want to talk about now.

“Uhum, yeah very cool, but _what exactly are you trying to tell me?_ ”

“Well, obviously that you’re a little weird if you don’t want to challenge anyone, even if you think they smell irritating!”

“…” you start to chew on your lip. Are you really that weird? You didn’t think you were. What’s so bad about not wanting to fight? That’s a good thing, right? You’re a social butterfly! But why do you feel so uneasy now? Oh, wait.

“You guys didn’t fight with me though. I mean, you don’t challenge your friends, right?” you grin at her, but she looks at you with her big green eyes that spell “I’m sorry”, and you feel your stomach drop.

“Uhhhhhhhhhh… that’s not … untrue.” she’s being evasive and when Jade is evasive that usually isn’t good. You shouldn’t investigate any further, but you can’t not ask.

“But it’s not true either? Is that what you mean?” You crane your neck a little, wide open eyes expectantly trying to meet hers.

“I mean, the three of us, we did needle each other. Rose more than Dave and I, I think. But… you? You didn’t even feel or smell anything yet, it’s not like you are any… competition.” your jaw drops and she quickly adds a little “Yet. Not yet.”

“You didn’t just say that.” you gasp and she hides her face in her hands.

“I’m so sorry, Rose and Dave made me promise not to tell you to-”

“You _talked_ about that?? Since when are you 3 leaving me out like that??”

“We didn’t leave you out, we just- didn’t want to worry you? Especially since Dave, who lives closest to you and whom you spend the most time with… uhm…”

“Since Dave what.” It’s not even a question anymore. You are getting so tired of this nonsense. Dave was right. Growing up is all secretive, keep your distance, trust issues, olfaction orientated, crappy crap.

“Uhm. Yeah. Since Dave would obviously become an alpha and had… issues. He tried to let you know but you’re not… hm. You were just not there yet. And that’s not bad! Don’t think that! It’s just that Dave really hoped you’d pick up on it, but you… didn’t notice anything at all. Even though he said that he hinted at it. A lot.”

“Hinted what, Jade. Stop the cryptic crap, I’m really not up for that.”

“Well, he tried to challenge you.”

“I call bullshit.” you scoff.

“No really! But you just didn’t notice it at all and- pretty much complied without a fight? I don’t know, maybe it’s some kind of submission reflex kids have before they enter second puberty that they aren’t even aware of? I mean, when you grow up you suddenly become aware of everything. You know what, now that I say it it actually sounds quite plausible! That could be some subconscious action to calm aggressors in old times, that would have secured your survival until you were old enough to mate and continue your bloodline!” she smiles, happy with this solution, but you can’t really join her in that.

“I’m 16. Don’t you think I could fight off whoever attacked me?”

“You asked for my opinion!”

“I called it bullshit is what I did, Jade.”

“Argh, fine! Be like that if you think you have to! I just tried to cheer you up!”

“Excuse you?” you’re not sure if you want to laugh, be offended or just confused. A bit of all of that maybe.

“I thought that maybe you needed some cheering up too, because you acted really docile all day, and the only one you are brave enough to pick fights with is Jake, the obviously smallest and least threatening one!” you can’t breathe for a solid 30 seconds, mouth opening and closing anyway, like that of a fish on land. Unable to think of any kind of response. She didn’t just insinuate what you think she just did. She didn’t!

“I didn’t try to pick a fight, and I am plenty courageous and not docile!” you bark and after a moment of thought you add, “And Rose is smaller than Jake! I am not submissive, Jade!”

“… But you really are. All the time. Don’t you notice that at all?” the commiseration in her voice, and displayed so obviously on her face, send a cold shower down your back. “I just had to raise my voice to you, and you made yourself smaller and avoided eye contact, you keep your distance from Rose, and there too you avoid eye contact-”

“I didn’t submit to Rose!” you throw in and she rolls her eyes.

“Not officially, and that’s why you instinctively keep your distance! However, you hint not all that subtly at her that you are ready to do so, which is probably why she doesn’t press for it. You have this naturally calming and… what would be a good word. A mollifying air around you. You are just not threatening.”

“Oh I assure you can be very threatening! I just don’t have any reason to be… And why would I want to? You’re my friends and my family! I could threaten the shit out of random strangers, though.” you puff yourself up, resisting the urge to do exactly the thing she just described, so you keep eye contact. And try to keep your shoulders relaxed and your back straight. Even if it’s hard. She doesn’t look away though. _Oh god is that hard!_

“Well, you’re right, maybe you are. I just think you are very much like your Dad, big and calm and a good guy who’d rather give up than compete needlessly.”

“I can be really competitive when I play boardgames!” she rolls her eyes at you. Shit, even you know that was a desperate and ridiculous thing to say.

“That’s not a bad thing, John. Your Dad might not be high in ranks anywhere, but he is accepted everywhere and well liked, and you know very well in how many social packs he is active. He’s pretty popular!” She grants you an encouraging smile and rubs your arm in a soothing manner. It feels nice, but your stomach suddenly feels like it decided the things you put in there weren’t quite what it wanted anymore. Maybe it’s the cookie dough acting up. You make a face and take a deep breath.

“Can we talk about something else now.” 

“Don’t bully my brother.”

You groan. “Uuuurgh! More different please.”

“… Hmm. Oh! I almost forgot! Originally Jake and I wanted to invite you to come along to walk Bec!” you only notice that you broke eye contact with her first when you have to _lift_ your gaze to look at her face. You stared on your feet. How long did you… ? Fuck, you really are pathetic!

Can this stuff really be inherited? You don’t think you’re anything like your Dad, except for this enormous nose and a handed on penchant for pranksterism.

Your Dad is rather calm and collected, you tend to be loud and a bit of a brat. Your Dad is pretty dutiful, reliable, and a big mother hen, you forget everything you’re not particularly interested in, and like to be pampered rather than pamper others. You’re not naturally submissive. You just like to be liked. So what if you don’t pick fights?? Tsch.

“John? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to spoil your mood.” Jade dips her head to the side a little, a bit of worry lacing the area around her eyes and you snap out of it.

“Hm, what? No no, you didn’t. I’ll come with you, I just have to tell Dad and Grandpa first. I’ll apologize to Jake when you give us a little room and walk ahead with Bec, okay? I don’t think he wants his baby sister to hear that his nephew purposefully disrespected him just because he could. That probably wouldn’t look very manly? And he is already poor in regards of mangrid stashes.” You give her a toothy grin and she slaps your arm.

“Rude, look who’s talking!” she can’t keep the giggle out of her voice but manages to sound offended none the less.

“Durr, I have even more mangrid than our big alpha boy Bro! Hell, I bet I have even more mangrid than Grandpa!”

“You two realize that we can hear you in the living room, yes?” Rose is standing in the doorway and you wince while Jade face-palms. The short blonde deliberately waits for that to sink in before she adds. “Calm down, I said we can hear you, not that we can understand you. Though, admittedly, that last part did sound rather interesting. So John, you think you can outdo Bro and even your Grandpa on the mangrid scale?” her eyebrows do this funny little wriggle, and you roll your eyes. She did that on purpose to ease the tension, but you start to laugh at the same time anyway.

“Please don’t tell them? Both of you?” they start to giggle, probably laugh more _at_ you than with you, but that’s okay. You like them happy. Feels warm and fuzzy and nice. Until you see Jake popping up behind Rose. Would have been too nice if he had really gotten that hint.

“I won’t tell either. You have my word on that, buddy.” Jake gives a small waive into your and Jades direction, respectfully leaving a bit of space between Rose and him when he enters the kitchen. He doesn’t really go any further than 2 steps inside, he keeps his distance to you, but it looks like standing with just 2 feet between him and Rose isn’t all that comfortable either. 

Jake never was too fond of the idea of officially submitting to anyone, even if only for decency’s sake, which probably is the reason why the only people he comes into close contact with are from his own family. Your uncle, though a rather polite guy to people he cares about, is a stubborn one, yet he certainly isn’t dumb enough to do anything to challenge Rose either by invading her personal space or excessively staring her in the eye.

Not that Rose would let herself be provoked anyway. You don’t think she would, Rose is so nice and funny and elegant and really smart. Sure she _can_ be scary, but it’s hard to imagine that she and Jade and Dave actually seriously attacked each other (probably more with words, but still), just to determine where their place in your little social pack would be from now on. What does it even matter? The four of you don’t need anyone to decide for you, protect you, look out for you, or speak for you. You don’t need someone to lead your social pack. You’re friends. Friends don’t care about each others ranks.

You sigh and ruffle a hand through your black mop. As much as you want to pretend you are all still in the same league, you’re not. The ranks are represented by a ladder, not by a stage. It still feels wrong to imagine your friends are actually caring for that. Because you don’t, you sincerely don’t care about their ranks and whether they are alpha, beta, or omega. Why does anyone even care about that? 

Jake clears his throat and you return from the land of whining and pondering. “Am I bothering? I figured, since little Rose made her entrance, it was safe to assume the kitchen was open for public again.” the small man smiles with what you’d call fake confidence and a bit of hope. You probably looked rather displeased when you were lost in thought, which made him think he had to defend his actions? Fuck, that’s just so very pitiful, so pathetic that you feel like shit for feeling annoyed with him again just by being in his presence.

What’s up with that stubble, Jake? It’s Christmas! Shave fucking properly! Either take it all off, or grow a proper one _before_ you come here!

And that “am I bothering?”, he addressed that at you. Ten minutes ago he acted the buddy buddy uncle, and now he asks you for permission to enter the kitchen in a house that isn’t even yours and in a rather roundabout way at that. Can he be any more woeful? See Jade?? That is someone naturally submissive! Not you, and not your Dad either!

You know exactly why everyone thought Jake would become an Omega. He just fulfills the cliche in so many ways, and not even the good parts of the cliche! Headstrong or not, just look at this!

But in the end you’re glad he didn’t become one. He lives on an Island, so he wouldn’t have to worry about being dragged into a back alley just because his scent is a little inviting, no, it’s not so much about his safety here. His problem is that he is a natural victim. He is small, lithe (Well, not exactly. He does his muscle training and all, it just doesn’t have quite the effect on him that he hopes for.), and rather than make himself heard he steps back, and shuts up about stuff and hides when he is unhappy. He tries to cover it up by acting like a tough guy, an adventurous explorer like Grandpa, but you don’t think he ever left his island for anything other than trips to visit you and Jane, and Roxy and Dirk the last two years. Though as far as you know he only goes there when accompanied by Jade and Jane. He enjoys company, he’s just not any good with it. Not in person anyway.

Well, at least he has a pretty face. He is overall rather good-looking. Not handsome in the Strider manner. No, more… Pretty? Hm. Do you even say pretty to guys? You probably shouldn’t say that even if, because people often think you and Jake are siblings, say you look alike, though Jake definitely outdoes you by far. Facewise. Not like you’re ugly, you’re fairly normal, but he is the kind that a lot of people would just want to hug and protect and carry around, you’ve seen him been carried around by strangers before. He doesn’t get much respect, but if he had your height and build he’d definitely have game. Maybe he’d even climb in ranks.

However, at the end of the day he is just not made for all that stress a higher rank brings. Constantly being challenged by lower ranks and blamed for every little thing your subordinates do in your presence, fighting for your position and dominating others to discourage them from trying and to keep them out of danger, even your friends, especially your friends. A high rank means that you get what you want and get spoiled, but they also bring a lot of stress. Probably the reason why so many alphas suffer strokes and heart attacks.

No, Jake is good where he is. Still, you bet it sucks to be Jake English. Even in his best possible position. 

Jade elbows you in the side and you notice that Rose is glaring at you. Jake is still standing in the doorway, looking at nothing in particular. You shoot Jade a confused look, and she nods in Jake’s direction three times before you remember Jake talked to you, and you just kept staring at his eyes, completely lost in your thoughts of how miserable his whole existence is behind his facade. 

Oh god you really _did_ challenge him, didn’t you? And he obediently avoided your gaze and kept his distance to gain your favor. How are you such a dick to your uncle?? You pretty much just forced your adult uncle, the family member with the lowest rank, the probably lowest ranked beta in the world, outranked by omegas, to subordinate himself to you, you, his underage not even presented and rankless nephew. 

“No, uh, Jake it’s okay I was just thinking about stuff. Sorry. I didn’t mean to provoke you or something.” for the first time in your life you purposefully lower you gaze, it’s meant to be a nice gesture. You know he might think you’re throwing him a bone, that you are not genuine. And you really aren’t. But beggars can’t be choosers, right? 

You can feel that Jake considers you for a moment even if you can’t see it before you can hear him chime, “Forgiven and forgotten, old chap!” and you slowly lift your head. Actively avoiding to look Jake in the face.

That’s earning you a smile from Jade, who seems to appreciate that you at least pretend, and something slightly disapproving from Rose. You don’t know why, though.

Actually it’s a bit distressing. You’re not sure what you did wrong, and maybe it’s just because she is an alpha and you haven’t officially submitted to her but now put yourself under Jake. For some mysterious reason this is suddenly worse than an appointment at the dentist, is it just you or does it smell like rain in here? Heavy and pressing. You really didn’t need to know what it felt like to disappoint an alpha you care for, but who hasn’t given you an okay for acting friendly yet. And you really really desperately want the permission now! Rose???

You take a step forward, about to do just what you should have done from the very beginning and submit. Who cares if someone is watching and if it’s a bit embarrassing and degrading? This look she just gave you and the pheromones you are able to pick up in the scent of rain she emits are doing something to you that should be illegal and make you want to apologize even though you don’t know what for.

“Okay then fellows, I think if we delay Bec’s walk any longer the poor dog might burst, and who would want to clean that up, for sure not me. Can I convince you to follow an invitation to take a stroll in the dark with us, little Rose?” she smiles and shakes hear head. You stop yourself from approaching her further.

“I’m afraid I can’t. I am rather attached to my face and would dread to see it freeze off.” she lifts a hand to drag soft fingertips over a smooth plush cheek, her black fingernails have green Christmas tree decor on it, and Jake’s eyes widen almost comically behind slim, black rimmed rectangle glasses.

“That can’t… really happen here, can it?” he shoots a quick questioning look at his little sister and she sighs a little laugh.

“Jake we’ve been here every Christmas for the past 7 years, and new years, and Easter, and the 4th of July, and Halloween, and Thanks Giving. Don’t you think we’d already know if that was an actual probability?” She grins and rolls her eyes in a “Oh you, silly brother!” manner that is quite endearing, and he gives a little shrug, turning back to Rose.

“It can’t, right?” his brows furrow. He just had to make sure. You get the feeling that is what happens to your brain when you watch one to many bad horror movies. Rose just smiles sweetly at him though, no intention to relieve him anytime soon. He quickly drops his gaze, and she turns to walk back to the others in the living room without another word.

That was weird. You’re not really sure what that was, whether she wanted to mess with him, or if that was an adult thing.

“Okay then! Out we go!!” Jade cheers and gives you a pat on the shoulder before she bolts past you, Jake on her six with a “Tally-Ho!” and you can’t help but groan. At both of them this time.

You can hear Mrs. Lalonde and your Grandpa yell after them in unison that this is supposed to be a “Quiet night!” and you want to laugh. You do, but you can’t. You have an uncomfortable amount of Jake English brand pumpkin-pie stuck in your nose and now you have to play games and unwillingly submit to your tiny loser uncle, who acts like a 12 year old on enormous amounts of sugar and caffeine, to make Jade happy. And for some reason it looks like it makes Rose unhappy. Dave will make so much fun of you when he gets here. You hope he get’s here fast.

In the end you can’t convince Roxy and Jane to come along either.

Roxy is lost in her last issue of _Complacency of the Learned_ , the bestseller series of her aunt Rosa. She insists on rereading it because she is convinced she will get the next issue for Christmas, even if it is supposed to be published on Easter. And she’s probably a bit too tipsy to wander icy roads now anyway.

Jane and Dad are already using Mrs. Lalonde’s laptop for a video-chat with uncle Crocker and Nanna. Shit, you kind of forgot? Why didn’t anyone get you? You were just in the kitchen, that would have been easy!

You quickly lean over Dad’s shoulder and into the vision of the camera that they are facing and wave at the family that stayed in their homes. Uncle Crocker sees you immediately.

“Hey William!” you hum, but the moment your eyes fix on the monitor you have to work hard to keep smiling.

“Jonathan, haha good gracious you grow like weed. Your Dad must be so proud.” uncle Crocker tries to keep his vigor but he talks really quietly. You didn’t think he’s look so much worse than on thanksgiving. So tired, eyes sinking into his skull, he’s become even bonier. He doesn’t look all that much like your Dad anymore.

“You bet I am!” Dad smiles back at the camera and reaches a hand over his shoulder to ruffle your hair.

Nanna asks how school is going and where you are doing, she noticed you’re twitchy. You tell them you and Jade will walk Bec after the call, and uncle Crocker tells you to enjoy the scenery.

“Winter is always so breathtakingly beautiful out there.” he sounds more than a little melancholic. You can only nod firmly.

Nanna tells you she send your presents per mail a while ago, so they should arrive some time after Christmas when Dad is home again. You always stay till New Year, while Dad comes back especially for that. You nod again and thank them from the bottom of your heart. The longer you look at the monitor the sadder you get.

Why the fuck is Jane here and not there with her Dad if he is in this state?? You know he probably forced her because he’d feel guilty for spoiling her fun but- But-!! You can’t even begin to understand the dilemma Jane is probably in, wanting to be with her Dad, and wanting him not to feel guilty and bad for making her stay and miss out on the tradition to meet up with her friends and family and everyone.

For ten minutes or so you watch Jane and her Dad chatting about this and that, sometimes fall in with some sassy commentary to make everyone laugh or at least groan and grin at your antics. And finally they have pity with you, who you get increasingly uncomfortable the longer you look at your miserable, exhausted looking uncle, and Nanna asks if it is really good to let the dog wait so long. Or Jade. You shake your head and Dad gives you a little push to get up, because he senses that despite everything you are kind of reluctant to leave. You bid your farewell with a deep bow, call over to grandpa that you’re going out to walk Bec, he probably already knows that Jake and Jade are going with you, and rush for the door.

Uncle Crocker seems to be so weak. No wonder he couldn’t come, and no wonder Jane has such a short fuse and gets annoyed with your horsing around. If your Dad looked like a ghost you wouldn’t have the nerve for your tomfoolery either.

On your way out you grab a handful of cookies from the kitchen to push into your mouth, crumbs falling into your open palm under your chin. It seems that after going through the trouble of baking together, most of you lost the motivation to decorate them. You know you don’t want to. Not without Dave. Dave is the only one who gets how funny it would be to have a food-fight with colorful icing. And he is the only one to appreciate your serious attempts to art. Only ironically, but still!

At the door Jake and Jade are already waiting, all geared up and ready to go, you try not to make them wait any more by quickly throwing over two more layers of clothing and looking for your gloves.

Sadly other than you fearless three babes, nobody has the guts to face the cold, and cold it is! But that’s what the onion layered clothing method was invented for. Even Bec gets to wear a stylish green vest and some kind of snow-socks that he seems to hate with gusto. 

The walk itself is rather uneventful. Even with doggy-boots and vest Bec looks a bit like a polar bear in the snow and he walks kind of funny because he isn’t used to the socks. Jade complains about the cold five minutes after leaving the porch already, Jake’s teeth are clattering but he keeps quiet. You guess it can’t be helped, they live on a tropical island so of course the cold gets to them a lot faster than to you. You decide quickly to postpone the matter of talking about anything with Jake as long as you can, in favor of admiring the view like uncle Crocker said.

The Lalondes stately home rests on top of a big hill surrounded by a massive forrest, mostly made up of big conifers. It’s nice and quiet and far from any kind of civilization. Big and small snowflakes, never-endingly falling from the still amazingly starry endless night sky without a sound. You don’t think you’ve ever seen as many stars as clearly as at night around this mansion. Left and right there is nothing but pine trees and firs under a thick blanket of soft looking snow, that in the dark of the night seems to be blue rather than white everywhere but where the flashlight points. In front of you lays a long dark road only lit by the moon and the flashlight Jake bravely volunteered to hold for you. As the eldest he probably thinks it was his responsibility to freeze his fingers off. He wouldn’t let you take over even when he started shaking. Finally Jade takes it forcefully from him though.

There are five times where for a few minutes you think you might have lost Bec in the trees (which is pretty easy with a snow white dog running through lots of… snow), who adjusted to his snowshoes faster than you thought he would and just doesn’t want to stay on the road with you, but he always returns on his own in the end.

All three of you slip and fall on your asses about a hundred times, and in the end Jake starts to make snowangels at the side of the road, laying on his back and chuckling to himself like an idiot. He does exactly what you wanted to do from the start but were to cowardly to do. He quickly convinces Jade to join him and they call for you. You decide to hold the flashlight for them though. That’s when you all start to notice that Bec isn’t around anymore and you lose him a sixth and final time. 

You die a thousand deaths and search for him a good half an hour before you find him, and Jake, small tiny Jake of all people, takes him by the collar, shivering from the bone-chilling cold, and walks the dog back like this. You’re a little impressed he can hold the old monster. 

That’s when Jade finally falls back a little, giving you the sign that now you are supposed to apologize. You’re still unwilling though.

You take a deep breath and close your eyes for a moment, again, careful not to stare at him.

“Jake?”

“Hm? _Lay it on me, bro_.” he is trying to imitate Dirks southern twang, but ends up sounding more like David.

“I’m sorry about earlier, I really didn’t mean to-” 

“Yes you did. And it’s okay.” you turn your head to face him but he is still training his eyes on the road.

“No it’s not. I was out of line. I’m sorry.”

“Heheh, it wasn’t as incongruous as you might think. Don’t fret about it John. It’s perfectly natural. I know it’s hard to imagine, but I myself was a teenager not too long ago. It is common knowledge that, if you want to gain ranks, you go for the weakest link in the chain first, and work yourself up the the big names of your packs. Testing your strength without getting you into trouble you can’t handle.” he chuckles dryly, and you feel uncomfortable to hear him call himself the weakest. It’s true, but it is surprising that he has no illusions about it anyway. And kind of sad. “That’s how it works for Betas at least. Alphas on the other hand will always-”

“Always do it the other way around, I know. Starting with whom they believe to be their biggest challenge, and working their way down to strengthen their determination with every new attempt. Which I think is very stupid.”

"Isn’t it?" Jake laughs. "I swear when Strider- I mean when Dirk presented he straight up went to challenge David and Bro, first thing he did when I saw him on New Years was challenge Jacob, I mean your grandpa, and it was right out hilarious to watch! Isn’t it fascinating how willing they are to make a fool of themselves for a little power? As if they didn’t have anything better to do." he clears his throat but can’t keep from grinning and letting loose the occasional chuckle while reliving what seem to be rather fond memories. Jake really isn’t a bad guy. And he pays more attention to things and their meaning than he lets on. He is just… 

“Sorry.” You repeat. And he reaches over the dog to give you a push with his free hand.

“There is nothing to be sorry for. And while I’m already at it, you can stop with the acting. I appreciate the pointless gesture, but the spurious submissiveness is a conflagrant mockery of my intellect. I admit I’m a little disappointed though. I wouldn’t have thought you’d take me for the kind of chump who can’t admit defeat.” He takes a steadying breath, that slowly escapes in a little white cloud. You do want to tell him it was Jades idea, but you’re pretty sure Jade is capable of doing rather unspeakable, terrifying things to you, that would make you regret to have ever opened your mouth. 

“I knew the day would come.” Jake continues and you have a hard time to concentrate on him again. “I was prepared ever since you outgrew me, and your toleration of me already lasted way longer than I expected. Shucks buster… I’m not above admitting that it’s a titchy bit sad. Heh.” 

He keeps quiet for a minute. Then snivels. You inwardly send prayers in all direction for him not to start crying. “Oh dag nab it, it probably would have been wiser to listen to little Rose, blasted cold, I think I already feel my face coming off, can you fish the kerchief from my pocket? I can’t quite reach it without loosing control of Bec.” He could have asked you to hold the dog while he blows his nose, but he asked for the stupid handkerchief. He probably tries to keep some dignity, by pretending to tame the lion. And as much as you want to sigh and grumble something inappropriate to yourself, you shut up and nod.

He convinces you and Jade to make more snowangels at the next corner of the road, while he holds the flashlight and the dog. Like a tiny annoying pro. Albeit a happy one.

*

When you come back you are all wet and freezing. Slipping and dragging your butts through the ankle to knee-deep snow does that to people, that and rolling around in it like idiots. The moment your Dad sees you guys he jumps, and to your misfortune he calls out for Jane and Roxy, you really don’t want the girls to see you as pathetic looking as you definetly are at the moment.

They all come to the rescue anyway, rub Bec dry, and help all of you out with towels, while you peel out of thick layers of partly wet and partly frozen clothes. Dad sends Jade to take a shower first, and the girls lead you boys into the kitchen, your inner layer of clothes is only slightly damp.

Jane quickly starts to work on some hot beverages for her dear cousin and beloved uncle, and Roxy pets your heads and tells the both of you what poor brave babies you are. She’s mocking you of course, but coming from Roxy that always feels kind of nice. Maybe that is because of the Omega pheromones that make you want to go easy on her and let you tolerate more from her than even from Dave. Omegas are amazing. You have no idea how anyone can think of them as low and dirty. Roxy is really adorable. She’s adorable and even if she wasn’t an Omega she still would be a real babe. You think. If only you were a little older. Or she a little younger…

Jake and you get comfortable on some bar stools on the counter side of the cooking island, Roxy leaves the room to go god knows where and your attention shifts to your cousin. 

Apparently you’ve been out for about two hours, and Jane has continued with her cookie quest while you where gone. Within minutes she manages to provide you with hot chocolate and a steady flow of cookies, rushes back and fourth between different batches and makes you test-taste some. The variety she comes up with is rather imperessive. You frown when you smell one that is so obviously Betty Crocker brand that you wonder why she even bothers to _try_ and make you eat it. She knows better than that!

You throw the cookie at her and you two start two bicker for a while. Roxy comes back into the kitchen without you even noticing, the sublte scent of strawberries to your right makes you turn her head and she rolls her eyes at both, you and your cousin. She sighs dramatically and exclaims that you’d all be lost little puppies without her and goes to do what she does best, and what Omegas are supposed to do in every pack structure. Make people happy. After she calms Jane down you manage to keep a rather light conversation until you ask where Dave is.

You’re informed that the Striders are still not here. It’s 9 PM and everyone is starting to worry since they can’t even reach them on their cells. You kind of start to feel sick and put your hot chocolate down when you realize how bad it really is. 

“Oh but I’m kinda sure they are fine.” Roxy ruffles your hair again, lucky for her you’re sitting down, otherwise that would be rather hard, she is 3 inches taller than Jane. At best. And Jane has about Jake’s height.

“And you know that how?” you inquire, and she bends over to take a sip of the cup you’re still holding. You find that you really don’t mind. Seems like not only did Jake get more annoying, but Roxy became sweeter, too. Curious. It kind of makes your heart beat a bit higher to think about the indirect kiss she just stole, and the one you’ll receive with your next sip. She grins at you, probably capable of reading your mind. Shiiiit.

“Because, my naive little rubber duck,”

“Rubber duck?” You interrupt her with a frown, but promptly get a finger shoved into your face with a shush. You wonder how much eggnog and whatnot she had while you were gone. She seemed okay when you left. Isn’t Jane supposed to have an eye on her on holidays?? She’s not slurring yet though.

“ _Because_ ,” she deems it necessary to start from the top. “My naive little baby rubber dick. Duck.” and there we go. She’s drunk. She is old enough to drink, barely, and this is a special occasion, but you really wish she wouldn’t have. You like her a lot better when sober, though she is a cute babe no matter what. Girl. Cute girl. Woman! Argh.

“Because, I have a strong melntal bond with Dirky. Mental. I’d know if something happened to him.”

“Uhu…” you narrow your eyes at her suspiciously.

“It’s womanly intutions Johnny baby, you can hardly compeeteet with that. Inutiations… Intuitions. Compete. “ At least she strives to correct herself.

“I believe in him, too. They’ll be here any moment.” Jake starts to pick at the pattern on his cup, than raises the towel around his shoulder to try and dry his short, not so wet hair again. 

“What? You got womanly intuitions too? I knew you were to small for a true ma- OW!” Jane smacks you in the back of your head with something and you rub the aching part of your skull, glaring daggers at her while she smiles at you with dangerous sweetness.

“Miss Crocker, what a swashbuckling performance, I am in awe.” Jake appreciatively claps his hands a few times, slow and with a few satisfied nods of his head.

“It was me a pleasure.” Jane looks a bit flattered and suddenly you think you realize why Jake only ever moves around with Jane or Jade when he’s off the island. His rank doesn’t allow him to defend himself like he wants to, Jane and Jade on the other hand can step in and intervene in most situations. Sly dog.

“Jaaaaane!” you whine and you get another, less powerful whip in the back with what seems to be a wooden spoon. You have no idea where or why she got that.

“You better sit straight John, or one day you’ll start to slouch like-”

“A Strider.” Rose finishes the sentence from the doorway to the kitchen. “They are here, if you want to be the first to tell them how worried you were and what horrible horrible friends slash family they are to worry you like this, I’d move now.”

Roxy pushes Rose out of the way and staggers past her in an impressive tempo before you even set your cup down.Jake and Jane slowly follow behind, Jake with a bit more of a jog than Jane. You stay put though. You’ve had enough of the harsh cold winter world for the day. You can greet them inside. Lucky you, rankless, with no responsibility whatsoever.

Rose, too, stays behind. She quietly makes her way over to you to sit down in the space Jake occupied up til now.

“Rose, there is no car! Where did you see- AH! Oh my there they are coming!” you hear Jane call back to Rose, and only seconds later Roxy starts to squeal like something absurdly happy, or maybe a chew toy for Bec or something, and you can hear Jake and Jane calling after her to put at least shoes on.

You side eye Rose rather skeptically for a moment. “Wait a second… If they are coming into the driveway just now, how did you…”

She smiles her cunning little vixen smile and leans her elbows on the table to rest a cheek on the back of intertwined fingers. “Well wouldn’t you like to know.” she reaches out to tousle your still moist hair, slowly and deliberately. What’s up with that? The whole day now the girls have been obsessed with touching your hair, not that you want to complain, but seriously!

You take another sip of your cup and when you glance to the side Rose isn’t smiling anymore. “John, we are alone now, and will be for at least 5 more minutes. Isn’t there something you’d like to get off your mind?” she asks sweetly almost encouragingly and you try hard, but can’t for the life of you figure what she is talking about. Not until the hand scratching your scalp slowly makes it’s way down, over your ear and cheek, down the side of your neck. You shiver and have an epiphany even before it comes to rest on your shoulder.

She asks you to submit already. To make it official so things can go back to normal. Give her some reassurance that you won’t back-stab her to gain influence, and give you some trust in her, trust not to use you to her benefit and to care for you.

You always called your friends your social pack, but really you never actually established anything. You never submitted or dominated each other knowingly. But you’re not kids anymore. Your word is not enough anymore. It’s a harsher, more competitive, more violent environment for adults. And if you just close your eyes and do it, Rose will be the first person you ever submit to.

Makes your heart beat just a tad faster to think of it. You know it’s not supposed to be erotic or anything, but in all of your almost 17 years you never had a girlfriend, though you are not completely inexperienced, so it kind of _is_ a little exciting in your pubescent mind, even if submitting is literally just a declaration of friendship, platonic bonding. 

You swallow hard and Rose get’s up from her stool next to you. She’s smirking. “Awww. John. You’re acting as if I was about to eat you.”

“Not helping, Rose.”

“Oh? So that is an actual concern of yours? Interesting. My apologies then.” her voice is really nice and warm, lower than that of the other girls and awfully soothing. Your heart beats in your throat anyway. You find yourself closing your eyes and leaning your head to the side as she stops right in front of you, standing between your knees. You can feel one of her hands on your thigh, she probably stands on her toes and holds herself up so you lean down to meet her, eyes still closed, clenched shut, nervous. Her other hand brushes flicks of hair out of your neck with warm fingers, your skin is still kind of damp from your not completely dried hair. Long black fingernails carefully drag against sensitive skin and you shudder, awfully aware of how close she is, more so than ever before, and you used to cuddle with Rose Dave and Jade frequently, so you are pretty fucking aware here! She leans in, her breath tickles on your neck and you chuckle in a nervous habit. She doesn’t laugh though.

She is not actually going to mark you. That is the whole point of this ritual. It is old, and horribly outdated, yet it is still a common gesture between superior and inferior members of a social pack. And despite not serving any more than a symbolic purpose, _it is_ strangely calming. Or it will be when you’re through. Jade already submitted to her, it's easy. So why are you tense then? This is a good thing, with this you’ll prove your trust in her, and her decisions. With this she proves she cares about your well being, and won’t put her petty pleasures over your health and happiness. With this you become really and officially part of your social pack.

Social pack, just that, not mates. Nope. Don’t even think in that direction Egbert. For a second there you have a flashback to a thousand silhouetted scenes in your favorite movies of lovers “paying attention” to their partners neck and throat. Of how scandalizing it seemed to be to sniff Dave’s neck, but how easily Jade offered her shoulder to Rose and she accepted it just like that. Maybe it’s because you recently had this unlucky experience with Dave that you are so… uncertain now.

And you really don’t have any reason to be! Her face won’t even touch your neck it’s about the _shoulder_ , only the shoulder and the bared throat and the fact that you _offer it_ to her. Other than in a swift greeting, submitting takes a bit of time to dovetail. It’s not just taking a quick whiff, it’s… Fuck how do you explain this? Uhm,a way of bonding, embracing each other with your brain via…. olfactory… Shit. Anyway, in your head it’s all about that sensitive expanse of skin that you practically invite her to mess with. You repeat the word _shoulder_ over and over in your head, to keep your mind from straying. You’re not crushing on Rose, Rose has a girlfriend, Rose is happy, and you are not crushing on her it’s just that Rose is really pretty and the situation is super suggestive and you are a young man goddammit. (One would have to be dead from the neck down to not be flustered by this girl! Woman? Uh...)

It’s such a small gesture yet it has such great value. In movies it’s always kind of cool, and often depicted like either the submitting party is super doubting up to that moment and then suddenly BAMF best of friends, or there was trust and affection all along and it’s a mere confirmation and display of mutual respect. Right now you don’t think either fits your situation though. Generally you’d never doubt Rose. At all. She’s always been your friend and probably always will be. But somehow you are not so sure you trust her not to mess with you when you’re this vulnerable. Oh god, what if someone walks in on you and it turns out she just tested you and calls you a kid? Would she do that? She’s been a bit strange all day. 

You can feel her breath really hot on the skin of your neck now, she’s so fucking close, her face can’t be more than an inch away from you. Your bowels knot uncomfortably as your tension level rises. It’s not sexual, it’s not sexual, it’s just Rose, nothing will happen, don’t be embarrassed. You don’t have any scent for her to familiarize herself with yet, so this will probably repeat when you present, but here and now _you_ can smell her. Stronger than before, vividly drawing colorful lines through the darkness behind closed eyes, your mind, binding you to your place by her side.

Rain and Lavender.

Your breathing slows down, so does your pulse. Slowly you relax, you bet she feels it with that hand that still rests on your thigh to prop her up. You kind of imagine her black painted lips to curl into a sweet honest smile as she notices you accept her as superior, trust her, don’t mind her coming close at all.

You were an idiot to think she wouldn’t be serious about this for even a second. She can be silly and a mean tease, but suddenly it becomes so clear that you really trust her with your everything. Whatever may come, she’ll light your way. Even if she did bite you, mark you, that would probably be okay. If it’s Rose, then you are not scared. You take another deep breath, shit if she doesn’t smell amazing. God you should tell her that.

Black painted lips brush soft skin and you don’t even flinch. You’re such a good friend, you’re doing so well, so well-

“ _What the fuck- ROSE!_!”

Now you jump, almost fall out of your stool at the deep growl coming from your best bro, stomping into the kitchen from the hallway. “Just what. The actual. Fuck!”

Rose immediately backs away from you, backwards towards the door leading to the living room, and Dave quickly steps between you and her. You stare at his back, his arms are slightly stretched away from his torso, hands open as if to make sure you don’t make a dash in her direction.

The initial shock slowly becomes extreme bewilderment as you watch Dave and Rose glower at each other for a good ten seconds, before Dave turns around to roughly pull you up by your shoulder, and it’s a little too easy for him for your liking.

“John, wait upstairs.” it’s rough and commanding and you can’t help but scoff at the new attitude.

“Hello to you too, assh-”

“ _NOW._ ” 

You twitch. There is a biting sour apple odor quickly emitting from Dave in thick almost pulsing waves, very different from what he usually smells like, and prompting you to comply with his insistent order.

"Dave leave him out of that, I asked him to." Rose sounds strangely calm, you try to look at her over Dave’s shoulder but he grabs your upper arm painfully tight and gives another pull towards the door, and you are forced to shift your attention back to him.

"You just couldn’t wait for me Lalonde. Do you need to be the first so badly??" Dave hisses back at her and you can see his face twist up. Now that you look at him, he’s sweating, breathing a little heavier and his face is twisted into a really ugly frown, that’s the most emotion you’ve ever seen on him, extreme emotion, and it scares the shit out of you.

"Cut it out little man." Dirk pushes past Jane and Jake and into the kitchen to intervene. You think you can see a vein pulse on Dave’s temple as he turns his head slightly in his brothers direction. 

"I swear to god, back the fuck off." Dave rumbles from somewhere deep in his throat and you can feel it vibrate from his lungs into your chest. You really want to do what he said and just get out of here now! That’s not Dave!

"Dave let go you’re-" his nails dig into your biceps and you gasp, try to swallow the noise you were about to make and wince.

Dirk is over at your side faster than you can blink, pulling you both apart, Dave by his wrist and you by your shoulder. The older Strider towers over both of you, he is pretty much the tallest guy you’ve ever seen, taller than both of his older brothers and even your Dad. He’s freakishly tall, he’s imposing, and intimidating, and for some reason Dave thinks it's smart to have some massive beef with him.

"Upstairs with you kiddo, and Dave you will calm your tits _now_. I’m not gonna tolerate this shit from you any longer. Come at me or cool it." Dirks tone is low but not half as calm as Rose’s and he gives you a hard push, out of Dave’s reach and towards the open door that leads to the hallway, that you makes you stumble backwards- you almost fall. Jane barely manages to jump in and steady you, then she tugs you back, tries to get you out of the kitchen the exact moment you hear some inhumane aggressive growling noise that you fear might came from Dave.

"John!" Jane hisses at you barely audible, pulling on the back of your hideous reindeer sweater with more urgency. You are so tense you can barely move. Your intestines feel like they were filled with cement in the last minute. There are 3 combative looking alphas in the kitchen with you, the most hostile one is obviously the one that you always thought was the softest and least forceful, Dave.

Jane is actively pulling you now, you do your best to snap out of it and rush to duck out of the kitchen where Roxy and Jake quickly push you further into the hallway, away from the kitchen. You have no idea what’s going on but you feel you should go get help. Another Strider if possible. An alpha who can stop Dave and has the authority to do so and force Dave to-

You already see your Grandpa coming down the hallway towards the kitchen, followed by David, your Dad, and aunt Rosa. A glance to the side reveals that Mom Lalonde and Bro still stand at the entryway and talk. Seemingly not as concerned or impressed by what is going down in the kitchen, or maybe just not interested.

"Dad! Dave-"

"Already at it son!" he interrupts you and they’ve already passed you and disappeared through the door, Rosa closes the it behind them and you can hear Dave shout something panicked and angry. You don’t think it’s a good idea to drive Dave into a corner like that. You can pick up your Grandpa’s deep gnarling which sends shivers down your spine, and you can see the other three around you feel the same. 

You stand there in silence for a moment, perking your ears for every oh so little noise coming from the kitchen and trying to imagine what the fuck drove Dave up the wall like this, made him loose his cool this badly, because even though that was your first hunch you can’t imagine that it was just Rose. Come on, Dave isn’t _that_ possessive, let alone jealous. No, he probably already was on edge when he-

The kitchen door opens and your Dad pushes everyone out “-and don’t come back in before I give you the okay.” one by one Rose, Dirk, David, and Grandpa are shooved out of the room before the door closes again. Now only Dave, your Dad and Rosa remain in the kitchen. The young alpha and two grown betas. You're a little confused by this constallation.

"Told you so!!" Bro shouts at the party that was forced out from the front door and you think Mrs. Lalonde giggles before she takes another sip of what seems to be regular red wine. As regular as high class red wine can be. You don't know much about wine.

"It was worth the try!" David calls back, and while Jane and Jake rush to Dirks side to pelt him with questions Roxy remains at your side, keeps petting your back. She seems to feel that you are actually a little in shock and need of consolation and you’re kind of endlessly thankful to her for not addressing that and just standing there.

You watch Rose coming over in your direction to ask if you’re okay and apologize. She doesn’t answer when you want to know what for and tells you and Roxy to get back into the living room with her and dig out a card game to play with Dave when he feels better. You think that’s definetly something you’d rather do than stand there and worry. The Lalondes quickly link arms with you, one on each side, and pull you along, guiding the living room directly without passing the kitchen.

You don’t manage to get very far. You’ve just come up to Dirk when he tugs you back with two fingers in the back of your collar.

"Hey. Where do you think you’re going?"

"We’re gonna play cards! You can either join in or let us pass." Roxy chimes and oh god you really want to hug her. Her mere presence seems to magically soften Dirks features.

"You shall not pass." Dirk replies dry and with a deadpan very unfitting the wonderful quote. How dare he meme you without respect for the meme itself. Roxy gives you and by extension Rose a little push as she huffs a breathy "Fly, you fools!", true to the books, but Dirk easily reaches around her and again pulls you back with a fist in your sweater. "No seriously Egbert, are you a little deaf?"

You roll your eyes but let yourself be pulled along, you really don’t want to be anywhere near him right now. He is just too fucking prince charming. Swooping in from somewhere outside of your field of vision all of a sudden, and pushing or pulling you out of harms way. Also, you still feel humiliated when you remember you thought he was coming on to you on Dave’s presentation, probably because he was on the brink of his heat and it made you feel all funny, and he made this -for a Strider- really utterly repulsed face at the mere mention of the idea. 

When you are finally standing next to Jane and in front of him the first thing you notice are the bold white letters on Dirks own bright red sweater that spell “HO HO HOMO.” you’re not sure if you want to applaud him and or be enervated with him. Maybe it's ironic, but does that really make it better? Seriously now, how can you not misunderstand him when every time you see him he-

"Nice reindeer. Didn’t I tell you to wait upstairs?"

"Uh… shut up?" you shake your head slightly.

"You’re intimidating him Strider, don’t stand so close to him!" Jane gives him a little push and he obediently takes a step back.

"What are you waiting for? Shoo. Upstairs Egdork."

"I don’t think that’s a good idea." Rose throws in from behind you and it earns quite a bit of nodding from Jake and Jane in response. Roxy seems to abstain from having an opinion on the matter and torn between hooking arms with you again or doing whatever it is she usually does with Dirk.

"That’s actually a pretty fucking brilliant idea." David hums from somewhere to your right. You turn your head just in time to see the hint of a smirk on his face while he places a hand in your back. He slowly but firmly starts to push you in the direction of the giant Christmas tree in the niche if the winding stairs in the foyer. You can't help but notice he smells like wet leaves and moss and cold air. And even though it’s subtle you think you can taste it on your tongue. You know it’s his pheromones playing with you, because now that _he_ said it it doesn’t sound like quite the dumb thing to do anymore and you almost move on your own.

"Let him make his own decisions." Rose hisses, defends you, and you hear her half jog behind you tall guys to keep up, but you are already wrapped up in a cold day in the fall forest, or whatever David smells like, and it really feels weird because you know you’re being manipulated and it kind of sucks, but on the other hand feels kind of good, and you're more okay with it than you probably should be.

You’re half up the stairs when you realize Rose is trying to push past David to follow you but he easily holds her back with a single finger pressed against her forehead, occasionally grabbing her sleeve. It doesn’t look like he is taking her serious as another alpha, probably because she is in second puberty and female. It’s so outdated to underestimate female alphas and tag them as the ‘weak’ gender, but it’s probably better for this situation. Rose wouldn’t want to get on Davids bad side.

Like, what’s even wrong? You’re just waiting upstairs for Dave or whatever. You can take care of your- Oh. Wait a second. This… Oh god no that’s too cute. You submitted to her, and now you are her responsibility. She’s making sure Davids not pushing you around! You actually read about that a lot lately (you know, for research because you’re surrounded by alphas and start to smell funny things), about alphas counter effecting each others pheromones to display dominance over each other or, and now comes the interesting part, to protect those that are dear to them, that are part of their pack.

You submitted to Rose, showed that you trust her and can be trusted. Symbolical. She probably already knew that. And now she’s taking care of you, makes sure nobody remote controls you against your will or something. Can pheromones even do that? Like, in Sex-Ed they said pheromones only strengthen resolves you already had anyway, not make you do anything against your will, but then again, the stuff you learn at school about ranks and these things is kind of… filtered. Alpha-friendly. And then there are lots of ugly stories about Teens in second puberty and how alph-

Oh god just look at her she’s getting actually angry for you! Did she just try to punch him? Aww. Aw Rose. You can’t help but smile.

"Rose! It’s okay, go pick a card game ore something!" you call back down to her with a grin and point back in the direction of the others who are probably already in the living room. Rose considers you for a moment before she grants you a curd nod.

"Don’t let him get the upper hand."

"What?"

"Just stand your ground, John." she sighs and turns to leave you to the fate you picked, kind of. David is winking at you kinda grossly and following her suit. What a weirdo. How is he so popular with everyone? You try not to think of the smell of forest and the way he sucks cream/icing off of his thumb as you climb the stairs. Stopping at the top you stretch to give the golden star on tip of the massive Christmas tree a quick touch, just in case, before you go down the hallway.

You hope Dave is okay. He was really fucking upset, looked a little sick even. That’s really not what you expected to face on Christmas.

You were planning on playing with Roxy and strategically place mistletoe so that Dave has to kiss either Jane or one of his brothers a few times to tick him off. He mentioned on several occasions that he thinks your cousin is hot, and you just know that his brothers get a kick out of pulling the carpet under his feet. It would have been hilarious and made a beautiful wallpaper for your cellphone for the rest of this month, one of his brothers ironically trying to seriously plant one on him while he fights for his dignity. It would have also made wonderful blackmail material.

You wanted to play this card game with him that Jade brought, Tarantula Tango, you’d pay good money too see the Striders and especially Rose, meow and bark and moo and bleat like a goat! That game is just so fucking awesome and you have to have a high threshold of embarrassment to win. Knowing Dave, he’d go all out because he is a sore loser when it comes to games, just like you. Jade really has great taste in games.

And you wanted to build snow stormtroopers with Dave like every year. Stormtroopers that look nothing like stormtroopers, but are stormtroopers anyway! And build an igloo with Jade because she is really good at that, which is super weird because she lives on a tropical island, and-

OH SHIT. _JADE_.

You forgot about Jade! Jade was upstairs to take a shower this whole time, so she probably doesn’t even know yet that Dave is super uncool right now, like, even more than usual, and chucking a scary little hissy, and that he is totally on edge!  
…  
It slowly dawns on you that that’s actually a good thing. You don’t want Jade to get upset and worry and you bet Dave wouldn’t want that either. Actually that might be why you were sent upstairs! To stop Jade from coming down before Dave is back to normal, before Dave is kind of Dave again, because whoever that was you encountered in the kitchen it sure as fuck didn’t feel like Dave. That was… you don’t know what that was. No, actually you do. That was what second puberty does to him because he is an alpha, you just didn’t expect it because Rose didn’t change much.

And that just wasn’t him. Dave is a dork. A nerd, who likes boardgames more than he’d ever admit, and threatens he’ll flip the table when he loses but in the end never does.

Sometimes he does really dumb shit like counting pennies at the checkstand, fully aware that everyone in the line behind him is groaning in annoyance, or that week he spend trying to convince you to let him pierce your ear and in the end he pierced himself like an idiot and it got horribly swollen and infected.

He’s obsessed with music, the genre doesn’t matter as long as he just deems a certain piece as good, he’s a true acoustic connoisseur even though you’d never admit that to his face.

And he is way too proud of his little achievements, like how he still is the best there ever was in Mario Kart, or that he matches you in strength and height, and outdoes you in speed and looks, and he won’t stop rubbing your face in it in return when you manage to successfully prank him, because he has to save face somehow.

He can be such a goof sometimes, like when you’re alone in your room and he has his headphones on and you are on your computer and he on your bed on his laptop and then he’d jump up out of the blue and start dancing or throw a pillow at you and when you turn to look at him he acts as if nothing happened.

Dave who can draw like, really well with his dominant hand but always switches to the other and draws shitty doodles with waterproof ink on everything you own, even on you.

Secretly cuddly, and clingy, and overall fun, _gentle_ idiot Dave.

You never want to see him like you just saw him ever again, loosing control, himself, you. And he lost you there for a moment because all you wanted was to get away from him, you were terrified enough that you almost punched him in the teeth. You pray that Rosa and Dad know what they are doing down there. 

You knock at Rose’s door. Other than you and Dave, the girls usually share a room whenever they are here for holidays. Dave shares a room with his brothers, you with your Dad, Jane with hers, and even though there are 3 more empty guestrooms Jake usually stays downstairs and watches movies until he falls asleep. That’s his own personal tradition. When you were younger you’d watch with him until you fell asleep and you'd always wake up upstairs, all tucked in.

"Jade?"

"Come in!" she calls back and you puff a small laugh, it’s not even her room.

You open the door and- Holy shit _BOOBS._ You immediately backpeddal and throw the door shut behind you. You didn’t just-

"John?"

"You’re fucking naked!"

"Duh, I’m not!" She opens the door and you look anywhere but at her. "Oh bluuh as if you’d have never seen a bra." You have. Just not on a real girl. How unlucky are you to have your cousin be the first girl you uh… catch indecent.

"Jade, these boobs are family boobs. I don’t want that clogging the boobs folder. Do me a favor and _never_ -"

"You’re a big baby, you know that? It’s not embarrassing if it’s family, and underwear is pretty much the same as swimwear! You wouldn’t make such a scene if it was a bikini! At home I-"

"LALALALA too much information!" you stuff your fingers in your ears and stare at the ceiling. Holy shit. Holyshitholyshitholyshit. This would be so exciting if it was Roxy or maybe Rose or just anyone who is not blood related to you! This is so awkward.

Jade groans and finally goes back inside, door still open. Would she act like this with Dave too? He’s not family but they were dating for a few months back when they were 14. It’s weird that you saw Jade’s boobs before Dave did. You don’t think he saw them. That would be weird. They were 14! You’d have to punch him if he did.

"There! All covered you weeny! So what did you want?"

"Uh, nothing much just tell you the Striders are here and-"

"They are??" She lights up within a second and attempts to run past you but you hold her back. 

"Wait!" you raise your voice but try not to shout, she’s giving you a rather quizzical look. Panic is rising in your chest when you realize you have no idea how to keep her upstairs, now that she knows Dave is down there, and you can’t let her know that at the moment Dave is acting all big bad wolf, you’d hate for her to end up like the little red riding hood.

"Uh… Iiiiiieeeehhhh uuuhhhm. I’m kind of pranking Dave annnnnd…" that one time a year when you really need your brain to work fast and it simply shows you the error report. Jade starts to roll her eyes and sighs deeply.

"Hmmm. I don’t really wanna be part of it." she picks at your fingers on her wrist and you struggle to find something- anything!

"I kind of… have… a crush and need your help." That’s so stupid. "Like, I mean, now that we are alone and all-"

"Wouldn’t Rose be a better partner to discuss this with? GASP! Is it Rose?? Again???"

"Wha- No!! What do you mean _again_ , can you not??"

" _Oh please,_ you were kind of really obvious it’s not like you are all that great at hiding things, and you were like a kicked puppy for weeks after you realized Rose and Kanaya are dating. It took all our combined efforts to cheer you up, don’t play dumb."

" _It’s not Rose._ " you insist and Jade rolls her eyes up and tips her chin with her pointer to find the answer to a question that you just made up. You’re starting to get pretty uneasy here, just why was that the first thing that came to your mind? Bluh.

"Then Roxy? But I don’t really think that’s a good idea John, I mean you’d make a cute couple, no doubt, but it don’t think that would work out for long. I mean for one there is the age gap and… She doesn’t really fit in your pattern."

"I have a pattern?" you raise an unamused eyebrow at her. Yeah… right. Dateless super-single John Egbert has a pattern. Right.

"Well, you kind of have a thing for girls that are a little… demanding and… high maintenance." she struggles a bit with her words, as if she thought you’d be offended by it, but you are just surprised and embarrassed.

She knows. Why does she know? Oh please no, just- Are you that obvious? But you never-! It slowly starts to dawn on you and you wanna run and scream into a pillow, a slight expression of distress settling on your face.

"Oh my god say it how it is. I know Dave probably told you and Rose about it and Rose probably unraveled it so fast you got dizzy! She’s not good at keeping stuff to herself when she thinks it’s funny!" you moan and finally let go of Jade's wrist to rub the heel of your hand over the little crease between your eyebrows, right over the bridge of your glasses.

"Rose can keep secrets just fine!" Jade defends her and you have to work hard not to scoff. "Well, maybe you have that impression because the things you think you keeps secret aren’t that much of a secret to begin with!" she snaps and you are about to tell her to just let it go and go curl up in your room. She is faster though.

"You have an alpha kink." she’s looking dead serious and _oh my god the fucking shame!_ Is it hot in here? It feels a little hot. "But that’s totally okay! Actually that is pretty common! Alphas have that effect on people, don’t worry!" You nod, still not looking at her and she slowly continues.

"So it’s not Roxy?" You shake your head and she let’s out a slightly relieved breath, why so relieved Jade? "Well that’s good, I’d hate for you to get your heart broken again! I bet they’d hate that too." You click your tongue and she punches your shoulder. "Come on John, don’t make me guess so much, I’m not going to slowly worm it out of you! Do I know her?"

"Uh…" god you’re really not a fast thinker and you’re kind of overwhelmed by the fact that your friends are all so well informed on your oh so normal preference for dominant women. If Dave just never would have found that dirty magazine. If he’d just never sniffed that little patch. If you’d have just humored him and directly went downstairs to play videogames.

"… Can it be…?" she muses and you take a deep steadying breath, noticing the hole in your plan. It requires you to sit down with her and make up and entire story over a secret crush that you don’t have, and that you somehow some kind of need your _her_ and only _her_ help for, for reasons you haven’t figured out yet!

You finally manage to gather yourself and look at her in time to see her nodding at herself.

"Can what be?" you ask and she quickly shakes her head.

"Oh John I’m so sorry. I didn’t know." the alarming amount of sympathy in her voice is so evident it twists something in your stomach.

"…" Do you really want to know? You decide you don’t want to know but she takes your silence as approval and again, continues before you can.

"When did you notice?"

"Notice what?"

"That you like Dave!"

Your eyes grow wide and your breath stops and you stare at her head on. How the fuck did she come to that conclusion?! And she sounds so sure of it too!

"Oh no, so it really is Dave? I should have known! In hindsight it’s so obvious! I’m sorry I tried to hook up Dave with Nepeta! I wouldn’t even have tried if I had known- I’m so sorry!"

"What?! Why would you even do that, Nepeta likes _Karkat_ and-" wait. That’s not what you should be upset about. "What do you mean ‘obvious’, I’m not gay, Jade!"

"I know! That must be so confusing for you!" there is so much pity in her eyes and this is so very wrong! "But you know, it’s okay to be curious and there are so much more things than gay and hetero and it’s going to be alright you’ll see!" So wrong! The shock on your face must be really clear because for a moment she looks really pained before she jumps to pull you back inside and into a really tight hug, before she closes the door behind you.

You don’t think you can talk about this with her. You don’t _want_ to talk this with her! Can you switch back to Rose or Roxy please? She forces you to sit down in Roses desk chair and you swallow thickly. How do you get out of this? You have a feeling the more forcibly you deny it the more convinced she will become that you have the secret homosexual hots for your best bro. You should have just let her walk down and encounter Dave like he is now. How the fuck can she think you are into him? He’s not- just- so not- URGH!

"It’s not what you think it is." you start and she nods and sits down in a bunch of fluffy embroidered cushions across from you. She totally thinks it is what it's not. _So not._ All of them nots. All of them.

"I mean I like Dave, but not _like_ like him. It’s not Dave. Not at all! No homo, just bromo." you watch as her expression becomes a little more pained and you want to punch your own lights out for making her make that face! Oh my god you want to punch everything. This is horrible. Somebody stop you NOW before you can make it any worse!

"Are you sure? You really don’t have to hide it from me John, I don’t feel like that for Dave anymore, and I’m not going to tell him or Rose about it. I fully support you! No funny business!" And now she pulls the sweet little angel card. You’re stiff as a board and decide it’s safer to look at your feet instead of her face that spells compassion in twelve different languages. You’re an ass for lying to her about having a crush, but you meant well! You wanted to save your best bro’s face and spare her to worry for him, and now she worries for you and you are giving Dave a nasty gay love interest image and Jade might try to hook you up.

"I crave a candy cane…" you try not to sound like a wimp but it comes out pretty whiny and you bury your face in your hands, elbows propped against your knees. Jade needs a solid minute before she finds her voice. Her answer is a bit breathy.

"Is that a metaphor for… you know?"

You wince. “Jade! You spend to much time with Rose! And Dave! And Dirk! Generally with people that see phallic objects everywhere! I just want a damn candy cane, okay? Because they are calming and sweet and minty, and I need that right now…”

"Oh- hmm. Okay!" she jumps up and you lift your head.

"Wait! Shit, uh, can we talk about this first it’s kind of important to me and-"

"John I’m just going to pluck one out of the big tree. If it makes this easier for you then I’d like to get you one. It’s kind of hard to see you this distressed." She gives you a little smile and a thumbs up. "Be right back!" and she’s out of the door.

What have you done?

It’s quickly spinning out of your control, careful everyone, this roller coaster has one too many loops, you will be thrown out of your seats at the end, so enjoy the ride and have fun crashing face first into the concrete. Attention! If you manage to miraculously survive the ride you'll get the next round for free! … Shit that’s a really good metaphor, Dave would be proud! You spend too much time with Dave, you’ve long since started to partly adapt each others speech pattern, little gestures, habits-

You really could be mistaken for a couple by outsiders. Why didn’t you see that earlier? Why didn’t you care about it earlier? Of course you aren’t going to get a girlfriend when you and Dave are all over each other every given second! The fact that Dave had girlfriends is only due to him going out of his way to hook up, which you don’t do because mind you you believe in true romantic love and magic! Nothing wrong with that! It’s not like you’re shy, you just believe the right one is out there! No experimenting necessary, though that surely wouldn’t be unwelcome if it happened on accident. But that just opened up a whole new expanse of questions.

Because Dave is more aware of these things, he has proven that often enough lately, so there is a high possibility he noticed this long before you. And as of fact Dave stated on several occasions that as long as he’s not charged for it he doesn’t care what people think of your relationship. Dave doesn’t care if everyone thinks you’re flaming homos. And really, you don’t care if a few misguided individuals mistake your bromance for romance, like, even if, what would be wrong with that? Some like this, some like that. No biggie. But if this becomes the reason why you die alone and unloved and the Egbert line ceases existing because of it, then that is a big fucking problem! Dave is driving possible girlfriends away.

And even if you weren’t uberclose, given the chance most girls would probably go for Dave rather than for you, because mind you he is a tall good looking strong alpha male from a wealthy family with good character who is fun and overall great. Not that you aren’t great. You’re awesome. You’re just not Strider awesome. Which you are very okay with by the way. Just look at how much it stresses Dave. No thanks, nice and normal is just perfect for you. But anyway.

The reason you’ve been a lifelong single and have been kissed only twice so far even though you are almost 17 (and according to everyone around you that’s unusual slow progress, but they could be lying to make themselves look better, but now you start to think that maybe they are not. What if they are not?) could be Dave. That hanging out leisurely with Dave is more important to you than going out to find yourself a date. Why is it that Dave can manage doing both, spending time with you and go on casual dates? You seldom see him with the same girl twice. The only constants so far are Jade, Rose and Terezi. You know he dated Jade with 14, Terezi from 15 to 16, and Rose is his half sister. Well and now you know what that Nepeta thing was about, but he never talked about her, so you think that wasn’t too successful?

Dave probably already was on second base. Dave probably wouldn’t be shocked to see a real pair of boobs. Dave is probably a really experienced kisser. Dave probably already touched a boob.

What if you never ever touch a boob?

You only notice Jade has come back when she shoves a candy cane between your parted lips and you acknowledge it with a satisfied little grunt and start sucking.

"So… Did you sort your thoughts or do we want to do that together?" she settles back down in the cushion pile and you try to concentrate on the minty taste on your mouth.

You look up and- She holds a bowl of cookies in her lap. “You were downstairs! In the kitchen!” she nods.

"You want one too?" She holds the bowl out to you and you lift a hand, not to take one but resisting the urge to slap it out of her hand and start screaming. You’re not 13 anymore. You won’t ragescream yourself into a coma. You won’t. Flip. Your shit.

A few strained breaths through your nose later you trust yourself to open your mouth again without cursing at her for nullifying your effort! All this suffering, and for what??

"Did you meet Dave?" she shakes her head and starts to nibble on a big chocolate chip cookie, cute buckteeth giving her a bunny like image. You give a relieved sigh. At least that. "Have you seen him?" her eyes narrow and her chewing slows down.

"John I told you I wouldn’t tell anyone! Have a little trust in me okay? Your secret is safe. How stupid do you think I am to go running and tell Dave as soon as I leave the room? I’m kind of disappointed you’d think that." she looks dejected and starts to nibble on her cookie again. Oh shit. This just. You’re going to kick Dave’s ass! Just on principle, because it’s kind of his fault you even got into this situation.

You have to cheer her up. And fast.

"So. Uh. What if I was bisexual?"

_"Hm."_

"Hm what, Jade?"

"Well, HM. I dunno John. What then?"

"I was about to ask _you_ that!" As if you had any idea what then! You’re poking around in the dark here! You never cared much about the other sexualities. Like. You know they are out there and stuff, that’s basic knowledge you pretty much learn that first day in sex-ed, about how and why the one you like might not like you back and so fourth, but really, you know what you like and it’s none of your business what others like, so you kind of tuned out on everything after heterosexuality…

"… John?"

"Hrrrm." you grumble as you push your fingers under your glasses to rub your eyes. You’re stupid.

"I get the feeling you don’t really _want_ any help. Like, you’re not just being shy, you really don’t want help." bless Jade Harley.

"Sorry." 

"No no, it’s okay, I guess I’m just glad you confided in me? I mean you’ve always been a little too hetero to be truly hetero, that must be a weight off your shoulders to finally admit it, huh? Maybe it’s all a little much."

"Thanks." A little too hetero. You’re gonna cry. She really thinks that?? But- you really are kinda totally hetero!

She gets up from her cushions to hug you again and you let her. You need that right now. You kind of found out about a few things you might have never found out if not for this dumb lie. Not the thing she thinks you found out, but damn.

"You know, it’s no problem to lean to both sides. It’s not the dark ages anymore."

"Jade stop."

"I mean there is obviously more than two sides you can lean to, but I guess we only really learn in depth about hetero homo and bi at school so let's start with that. It's okay John, but it's all super normal and how it was intended by nature! Why else can guys and girl develop both internal sexual organs?"

"Uuurgh, I’m gonna be sick Jade."

"You know most people have both, like inside I mean. Obviously not everyone has both on the outside. Actually I don't think I ever met someone who had both on the outside."

"Jade for real."

"It's really not that uncommon, although like 200 years ago it's wasn't common knowledge because about half of the people that have both have a secondary set that's not working. But what's important is that it's not all black and white, John. Rose and I both have inner testes! Okay, I only have one and it's barely working but it's in there! Maybe you have an ovary, OH! Or even an uterus?? Like, you’ll find out when you have your coming of age trip to the public health office."

"I will cry Jade. Loud."

"… too much?"

"Way too much. I really don’t want to think of the possibility."

"But that’s a very real possibility considering your dad has both and your-"

" _Jade. _" You give her a look and her lips become a thin line as she mimes zip locking them.__

"I just don’t want you to think you’re weird. You know? Same sex couples are perfectly natural and when you look around you can see them everywhere. You of all people should know that." she smushes your face between both hands and lifts your head, forcing you to look into her big shiny green eyes. "Speak after me: There is nothing wrong with me, no matter what sexuality I have, or what organs, or who I date." you scoff through your nose and she frowns and pinches your cheeks before she forcefully pulls them. You yelp grab her wrists to pull her off, your face burns like brushed with stinging nettle. Indian face burn!

"What was that for??"

"John Egbert, do you discriminate??"

"What? No! Shit, look I really don’t care what others do as long as they have fun and like it okay? Scouts honor!"

"You’ve never been a scout."

"Yeah well, but I would have made a good scout! Anyway, how could you think that? You know that the main root of my family tree has more and more same sex couples the further you go down, yes? Like, even in times when people still gave a shit about that, like with large crowds demonstrating against it and bumper stickers and stuff! I’m not prejudiced!" now you’re actually getting a little angry. That she would even think that!

The palms of her hands settle on your face again but this time they travel up to ruffle your hair with vigor and you squint your eyes shut.

"Then stop making your sexuality such a big part of your identity. It is a part of you but not who you are. Okay? You are way more than that! And you don’t have to know what you are yet, like really John, take your time to experiment if you’re uncertain-"

"I’m not."

"Yes you are."

"Uh, No? I’m not?"

"Shut up John! Where was I?"

"You want me to experiment I guess? Which is still stupid."

"Okay but you can trust me on that one. Better safe than sorry." she kisses your forehead and lets go of you. "And now you better go back downstairs."

"You’re not coming with me?" you blink at her and she just shrugs.

"I was just applying some bodylotion when you knocked. I’ll finish that and follow you in, hmmm, fifteen minutes."

"You need fifteen minutes for that? Even though you already started?"

"Oh shush, I’m thorough!" she pouts and you grin.

Okay, she thinks you’re kind of bi for Dave, whatever. Bi is not gay. You can still save this. Not yet though. Right now you just want to go downstairs and forget everything you just thought about. Just ignore the mess you made and all the stupid lies, pretend that things like this become irrelevant as soon as you leave the crime scene.

You close the door behind you as carefully as possible. No need for anyone else to see Jade’s family boobs. Awkward enough that they are on top of your boob folder now until you come home. Shit. With a sigh you turn around to go back to join the others and freeze, hand still touching the doorknob.

Speak of the devil... There he is. An icepack draped over his head, another around his neck, half resting on a shoulder, carrying a bowl that matchesa the one Jade had, loaded with thickly iced cookies in one hand and an orange and black gym bag in the other. And he’s staring at you.

You want to be shocked. You really want to, but your gaze drops on his thin black sweater that has two baubles on it, one green and one red, and written underneath in nice cursive is _Balls_. You try not to snort but it just falls out of your mouth like shit.

"Nice balls." you are full out grinning at him and the corner of his mouth only twitches. And that not even with the strain from holding back a laugh, it’s more a tired kind of twitch. Like, oh yeah. I have great balls. On my shirt. You’re so funny Egbert.

His face is still a little red. He doesn’t really look all that good. A little more slouched over than usual, a bit sick maybe.

"You’re not sick, are you?" you draw your brows together in an open display of concern and slowly walk towards him, he takes a step back and you twitch and stop. Something is wrong.

"Try tired." he huffs, and he really does sound tired, but that is no explanation for what was going on earlier.

"Huh. Sooo… You’re going to bed already?" you _have_ to ask. Seriously this is Dave and he doesn’t look okay. And he doesn’t look away. His eyes are very much fixed on you, wary. Even with the shades it's hard to miss. He doesn’t want you near him, so much is clear. He licks his lips and straightens his back a bit.

"Nah, more like, I was banned from pack activities for the day. Welp. No fun time for the residence cool kid." you’re a bit puzzled but he just shrugs. "It’s fair. You might not have noticed because I’m the fucking master of subtlety, but I’m a bit on edge."

Now you snort. “Gasp, Dave! You don’t say?”

"Yeah I know, I’m like the motherfucking Vin Diesel of emotional expressions here. It’s a curse sometimes, but someone has to bear the burden of cool."

"Psh. Vin Diesel?"

"Say what you want about him but the guy has an unnatural control over his facial muscles. How does one do that without any influence of neurotoxin is a mystery. Maybe he is actually botoxed. Who knows. Who cares. Sure as hell not me. It’s just the first thing I came up with, which is pretty fucking amazing considering all that’s going through my head right now is why the fuck you were with Rose when just a bit earlier I told you clearly to wait upstairs just to get you away from her which looking back on it maybe was a bit grandiloquent considering my rank and current position but seriously do you even care that your excessive irreverence compromises the stability of my feeble hormone addled mind?"

"Wuoh, you might want to slow that down a little, what?" now you are terribly bewildered! You actually understood most of that even though that pretty much shot out of him in one steady current, but you can’t really grasp it.

Dave gives only a short little growl in response and takes the last two steps forward to his usual room. Dropping his bag on the floor to open the door and you use that moment to catch up and grab his shoulder.

"Dav-"

_WHAM_

Your back smashes against the door at the same time as the cookie bowl hits the floor. You didn’t even see him move, he just used your momentum and suddenly for a split second everything was spinning. Now he’s pressing his lower arm against your throat, not hard but enough to make your heart attempt to jump right out of your chest. You hear the bowl roll down the hallway and come to a halt, hear the icepack from his shoulder slip over his back and hit the floor. You don't know what happened to the one on his head but it probably is somewhere on the floor too. You try to shift your weight and step on some of the spilled cookies, suck in a few short breaths, panting. That scared the shit out of you.

"Look at me." Dave is purposefully lowering his voice and it makes every hair on your arms and neck stand on edge. You didn’t even realize you trained your gaze somewhere to the side, but you sure as hell are not going to stare him in the eye. Shades. Whatever. Especially not from this distance. He wants you to jump on his provocation, this is a setup. He’s looking for a reason to pick a fight with you! Way to go, John, he didn’t want you to come close to him because he was still kind of subliminal aggressive and didn’t want to drag you in, and of course you had to be an idiot and-

"John? Is everything okay?" you don’t even have to look up to identify this worried voice as Jade’s.

No. No no no, you worked hard just so this wouldn't happen! You didn't want Jade to see this kind of Dave, and Dave will hate himself to oblivion if you let him do anything to her, she is still kind of special to him!  
You short circuit, blank out for a second, and do the first thing that comes to your mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MORE ALPHA KIDS SOCIAL PACK AND GUARDIAN SHENANIGANS IN THE NEXT CHAPTER. AS WELL AS THE PROMISED FANSERVICE. WONK.
> 
> Let's talk about the alpha kids a moment okay. Don't judge them by first glance. As you see with Jake, he sees and notices more than he let's on. And most of that is true for all of them, there is so much more to them here. And if you want to know, Yes. The answer is Yes. You know what I mean.
> 
> 42 pages in word. I cut this chap in two parts, so there is more to come. But guys, I'm tired. I just want to lay down and never get up again but it's Christmas and I have to bake 20 different kinds of cookies bisquits whatever to put into pretty baskets for X-mas presents to send to my family, deadline on the 24th! I fear I can't make it anymore! So little time, and I have work tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. I've been pulling allnighters for days. I just want to rest. However, believe me I'd rather write than do anything else, but there are so many other things I'm supposed to do right now that no matter what I do I feel so guilty for doing what I'm doing and not one of the other things! So take this now and get the rest later when I can breathe again, okay? THANK YOU!
> 
>  
> 
> AGAIN, I'D LOVE COMMENTS AND I AM REALLY THANKFUL YOU READ ALL THIS SO FAR YOU MAKE MY LIFE NICER! :DDD
> 
> Seriously if you want to make me a Christmas present write a comment and ask me a question you have about the fic or copy paste a scene you liked especially, so I know what to do more of. What was funny, or what was heartwarming, or whatever. Whatever makes an impression! It doesn't matter. Just talk to me. Christmas is the lonliest day of the year with the prettiest decoration. Ah. I love Christmas. And I love you guys! My dear readers! I kind of... I dunno. I really am glad you like it up to chapter two and I want to live up to your expectations and hope I did. You#re great for sticking with this. Really. You are.
> 
> If you don't write a comment I won't talk to you before Christmas I guess, so MERRY CHRISTMAS! You are great, and special, and talented, and you deserve all the best! All of it! See you around! I hope. Please have fun over the holiday!


	4. Olfactory Overload 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The continuation of the Christmas special. Dave and John get to spend some time together, and make mistakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome back! I am so very sorry for the incredibly long wait! Life was utter shit and I know that's not an excuse to leave you guys hanging, especially knowing that I've been sitting on this part of the chapter basically finished for over a year now, but I lost so much confidence and the more time passed the worse I felt. If not for all your support I would've completely given up on this story and maybe even deleted the fic from AO3. I want to thank everyone here for not giving up on this fic and keeping to ask me for more, you truly kept this thing going!
> 
> A big thanks goes to my friend RainingApples here on AO3 who proofread part of this chapter as usual, and someone I met yesterday on Tumblr, Misschlant! Misschalant was so nice to take hours out of their day to test read the first 46 pages of the second part of the Christmas Special. Which is the part I felt most comfortable with and helped me decide to split the chapter up, so this thing is basically the first half and a second one is coming. So if you want to thank someone for this coming back, send Misschalant a thank you, because if not for them I probably wouldn't have posted this anytime soon. They gave me confidence like only strangers can do, (friends are often too polite to tell you when something you made sucks)I am very sorry for splitting it up so heavily but it feels so much more manageable for me when i can split the chapter up. This is merely for my own convenience, I sincerely apologize for bumping up the number of chapters up again, I swear I am not adding more to the story, I just split up the chapters because everything over a 50 pages makes me more self-conscious than is proper for someone like me.
> 
> That being said, I hope you enjoy Chapter 4! I'd be of course glad over any kudos and especially comments you leave, but I understand if you don't want to or like time and motivation or simply have circumstances beyond my imagination.
> 
> And as always, please remember that we see everything through John's eyes, and he is not objective and often times simply wrong about things, even though he tries.

No. No no no, you worked hard so this _wouldn't_ happen, you didn't want Jade to see this kind of Dave, and Dave will hate himself into oblivion if you let him do anything to her. You short circuit. Blank out for a second. And do the first thing that comes to your mind. 

You quickly grab Dave by the front of his shirt with one hand and the doorknob behind you with the other and open the damn thing. 

You didn't think far enough, though. Little reminder, _you're still pressed against it_ , so, of course, you are inevitably pushed further backward, start to stumble as the door gives behind you, pulling Dave with you in the process. You see how Dave catches himself on the door frame as you fall, your fingers lose their grip on him and you can't help but feel betrayed when you land on your back. Hard. It knocks the wind clean out of your lungs.

Shit. Oh god, you can't breathe! That hurt! Hurts! That's it, you're officially the worst at improvising. The bright pain crawls up your spine into the back of your skull within seconds and you wrench your eyes shut, gasp, try to breathe in but you can't. Maybe that's how a fish feels out of water. Once- Twice- Finally you suck some sweet sweet air into your lungs and cough a few times. Your throat still feels tight with shock and you are barely aware enough to catch the last bit of Dave's sentence over all the noise you're making.

"-ptionally fine even. Nah. Really. Hey, did I ever lie to you? Heh, yeah. Don't worry, I still have the retching dork in there. Okay, see you tomorrow." he sounds more controlled than you thought he was able to, and the door closes rather quietly behind him. 

You concentrate on trying to calm your breathing and blend the pain in your back and head out. The floor isn't exactly soft and the dull ache forces a moan out of you the moment you even think about lifting your melon off the ground. What a fucking stupid idea. Opening the door you're leaning against, that's just so- ARGH! You can hear the light switch being flipped, it brightens up considerably behind your closed eyelids but you don't move an inch, loose fists laying atop your chest as you pant, your knees slightly drawn up.

"You okay there, dude?" You know he's standing above you. He still sounds a tiny bit sour and so is the thin apple smell in the air, but it's not that biting anymore. "That was some fast thinking. Not smart, but at least fast. Have a point for the effort. Slow clap, bro." He doesn't clap his hands, though.

You blink. So bright! Shit. It doesn't really hurt as much as it did a few seconds ago but it's still really uncomfortable, so you stay put and concentrate on wrapping your head around what the fuck just happened. You're quickly distracted by the rooms decor, though. It's pretty similar to the room you share with your dad, warm white holiday lights all over, baubles hanging in big clusters from the ceiling, little reindeer plushies sitting on the beds. Ther are Figurines and evergreens occupying almost every surface available, as well as a bunch of candles that sit in old-fashioned lanterns, which you are sure isn't only for decoration but also for fire protection.

It's hard to imagine how long it must take the Lalondes staff to beautify each and every room for every damn holiday before you all breeze in and spread chaos. Like, it's okay because it's their job and all, but if the same people that did all this have to clean up after you all leave, then that's kind of pretty sad. Especially how much of it all falls victim to the exquisite Crocker/Egbert pranking skills every year, as well as to Strider sword art and the mere presence of various pets. And Jake. Accident or not, he always manages to-

"John, seriously. Why?" Dave interrupts your train of thought and your gaze wanders from a particularly tacky ceramic Santa sitting on a nightstand back to your best friend standing above you.

"Why what?" you puff, honestly confused and maybe playing a little bit dumb since you have some idea what he might mean. Dave moves over to his bed to drop the bag on it before returning to you. Glowers down on you, not helping you up like he usually would. Or rather, like you'd usually expect him to.

"Not that I effusively pride myself on it, but I'm your best bro, and I thought that would kind of count for, I dunno man, _something_. Egbert, if you don't feel responsible for me then at least take some motherfucking pity. I'm just a kid, and life is a nightmare."

"Man, I have no idea what you're talking about..." you groan and playfully swat at his calf. "And stop quoting Simple Plan, they suck." 

"Yet you immediately recognized the lyrics." You roll your eyes and want to sass him back but he cuts you off the moment you open your mouth. "We're talking about Rose here, okay? You submitted to her first. And while I get cornered by pretty much every adult in the complex you two just sneak off into her room-"

"Dave she's downstairs! I was just talking to Jade!" you snap at him, already starting to get fed up with this accusation. You're not sure why that bothers him so much, but you feel truly offended! 

"..." He studies your face for what feels like a long moment. You can see something that must be a hard question roll over his tongue, but in the end, he refuses to spit it out and averts his eyes, doesn't give you any other indication he's ready to drop it.

You groan and prop yourself up on your elbows but Dave quickly presses a fluffy socked foot against your shoulder, shoving you back down on the floor and none too gentle. "Uff! What the-"

"Better stay put man. That actually helps." the foot stays firmly pressed against your shoulder, he doesn't lean much weight on you, but enough to make sure you know he could hurt you so you don't attempt to struggle. If it wasn't Dave this kind of situation would probably worry you, make you uncomfortable and nervous, force a fight or flight response out of you. However, right now you are just confused and slightly ... Concerned. Maybe.

"Helps with what?"

"... Seriously? The pugnacity, Egbert. The needless, exhausting, mind boggling aggression. Simple, primal bellicosity. What else could I mean?"

"Yeah... About that, uh-" you lift a hand to pick at the loose leg of his pants. Try to animate him to take that stupid foot off your shoulder.

"I know."

"... Know what?" your fingers curl into the jeans fabric and give a few light tugs before you start to pick thoughtlessly at the seam on the side. You watch as he fights the urge to chew on his lip. He seems to be looking for the right words.

"Sorry."

Your eyebrows shoot to your hairline and for a moment the entire room feels far too quiet as you're staring up at him from your uncomfortable position on the floor. Uh, awkward, why is he even apologizing, it's not like he can control his hormones like, not his fault that he has a second puberty like every other normal human being. You close your eyes and take a deep breath when you blink back up at him you kind of realize again that...

Shit, he's really big like, from down here especially. When you're both standing you're pretty much the same height so you usually don't notice, but damn. Which in extension means you're hella tall yourself! Jade and Rose probably noticed that already. That you guys are manly tall. That's kinda cool. But wow, this angle slowly makes Dave's figure kind of imposing. Looming over you like that, shadow cast over his face and half covered by his trademark eyewear. It's a little threatening. You wonder if he knows that. Maybe you should tell him that. "I can look up your nose."

Dave lets out an exasperated sigh.

"Way to spoil our moment, Egbert." the heel of his foot presses a little harder into your chest for a split second before he lifts it and walks back to the bed. He flops down and starts to dig in his bag. 

You grin and clear your throat while fumbling with your reindeer sweater, press the red nose so it starts to blink, while obviously faking confusion. "There was a moment?"

"Emphasis on was. Thanks for taking this serious man, I feel so safe and understood with you. Amazing. Just how do you do that. So fucking dependable. You're the best." he's deadpanning you, the piercing sarcasm in his voice forcing your grin to drop and you sigh, take in a deep breath through your nose and get another bewildering punch in the olfactory center. Not biting, but still sour, and something else. You never realized the scent of apples could have so many different yet distinctive nuances.

"Maybe I should consider getting myself some proper adult friends that can understand all these raw adult feelings going down over here. Baby is just too immature to pick up on this ripened-..." he trails off and you frown. Haha, very funny Dave. 

"Ripened what?" 

"I forgot where I was going with this." he sounds a bit let down himself and you cover up a chuckle with a cough. "Told you my mental abilities are a lil impaired this evening. I'm telling you that's the weirdest feeling. And you're still a cruel bro-moment wrecker."

"Daaaave."

"Nope. Gonna mope for the next 10 minutes, there is no changing that."

You roll your eyes. Drama Queen.

Yes, you knew there was a tender bro-moment in the making, and you ruined it on purpose. That strange silence coupled with that extreme focus you had on each other for a second or two before you felt too uncomfortable.  
It's not like you never had an awkward moment before or that you're strangers to brotherly intimacy. Awkward like for example when you realized bro-cuddles isn't an actual thing and just something Dave made up but kept quiet and went along with him to this day. Or intimate like when Dave discovered you actually like sharing a bed during sleepovers and like to sleep with both your backs touching and made massive fun of you while pretending he didn't feel the same, yet in the end always threw his pillow on your bed when he was staying over and never mentioned the guest room again. You're tight, so it's cool! Or at least it was up till now. 

This right here feels a bit different. Suddenly you're very... well, aware of him, as stupid as that may sound. Aware of how close you usually are to each other. You thought about it after his presentation but this little show you got just took the metaphorical cake. 

You're _all_ friends, but you would have never guessed that the prospect of Rose intruding on you guys would make him jump out of his skin like that, that maybe he considers your friendship as something separate from other friendships that he doesn't want to mix under any circumstances.  
Honestly, up to this day you just lumped Dave in with everyone else and treated everyone the same. You used to cuddle and hug and stuff with Jade, and Rose too, occasionally you even hugged Karkat, and Vriska, as well (though not as extensively)! Dave just so happened to live closest to you, so naturally you would hang out more often.

But this here? Right now? It's different. And finally, it starts to feel different to you, too. You feel like an idiot for declaring over and over to Dave that nothing would ever change your friendship. That was premature and naive. Just look at Dave, he's a grown man now, an adult man, he doesn't look any different, but the vibe you get from him definitely is. And the smell...

You can't help but wonder if he's aware of you at all. As a man or so... ARGH no, stop right there! This stupid talk you had with Jade is influencing you! It's not like that! You'd wouldn't want him to see you as a man-man! Just as a normal adult man! Not as in that other meaning thing! So it's not like what Jade mentioned. Not at all! It is not!! This is just weird because of Dave's second puberty! Nothing else!

"John?" you must have had an intense expression when you rejected your previous line of thought since you somehow caught the blond's attention. You hesitate to react but when he doesn't follow it up and the silence starts to stretch you jump in.

"Dave. Honest talk? It's not your fault. I mean you warned me a few times that something like this would most likely happen. 'My hormones will ruin our friendship, blu blu, poor me, blu blu blu.' and stuff. And it's not like anything's been ruined, loveyounohomo, but... uh, more like, and I'm just kind of surprised that it's so..."

"Physical?" he offers and finally pulls his laptop out from under what looks like another, way more gaudy, Christmas sweater, as well as something gift-wrapped, and proceeds to opens the device in his lap.

"Uh, yeah? I mean Karkat made me sit through a lot of chick flicks back when I was 13 or 14 or something. Like, you know, teenage romcom high school bs, and stuff like that. And I always thought movies exaggerate this kind of stuff for dramatic effects, but apparently they don't, or at least not to the extent I thought they did." you say and try to get a bit more comfortable on the floor while you train your eyes to the ceiling. "The noises you made in the kitchen, the growling and stuff? Not funny man, downright animalistic. And you should have seen your _face_! You-"

"Fuck. I'll just pretend that never even happened. Like. Expressions? On my face? You must have been hallucinating. I dunno what Lalonde put in your tea dude, but I sure hope she has some left for me." he gesticulates wildly with it, but you don't think it's particularly funny to joke about that. Especially since she is an alpha. Stuff like this actually happens out there and it's not uncommon.

Lost in thought you start to rub your wrist. Both of you start to clumsily joke your way around the actual subject. It's clear you both want to talk about it but neither of you is willing to really dive into it.

A quick glance to the side reveals that Dave is probably checking one of his bloggy things. 

You have to admit you don't really know anything about his blog stuff, he can be as much of a semi-famous blogging child-god as he wants, but honestly _you really don't care_. Except for when you can tease him with how proud he is of it, and how lame that makes him. That's great. You actually have a good one stuck in your throat right now, you can taste it on your tongue. About how, considering the events of the past few hours, he should have lot's of unique uncool blogging material now.

Yet, seeing as you have to lay on the floor to keep Dave from kicking you back down, or doing whatever he needs to feel dominant, and alpha, and most importantly sane and safe around you, you better not question his authority with sass now. Just thinking of this deep feral growl he made when he separated you from Rose gives you goosebumps...

"You were really acting kind of a little bit scary back there, Dave. I mean did you see the look on the others faces? So uncool, haha." you finally admit out loud with a chuckle in your voice that is slightly more nervous than intended. The continued silence that follows your statement can't be good. Another glimpse at Dave reveals his head hangs low, he still seems to have his eyes glued to the laptop, yet you kind of feel he's checking for your expression and body language from behind his long fringe and a layer of dark tinted glass obscuring his eyes as well.

"... were _you_ scared?" Dave sounds hesitant, looks tense. It takes a while for it to hit you but when it does it sends a hot chill over your back. That smell!

You quickly train your eyes back to the ceiling, oh god, why the fuck are you even still in here. He was banned from pack activity, and that for good reason. You really don't want to say or do anything that makes this worse for him (or you), but you have a feeling that the possibility that you'll do just that is pretty high if you get up and attempt to leave now. 

"Uh... no, not really? Just... weirded out, I guess." you actually might have been a bit frightened when he grabbed you like that. Maybe. For a moment. A short one.

You were definitely a little alarmed, but you're not gonna say that straight to his face. Not when he is so fucking exhausted already, and sounds... small, and strung like a rubber band ready to snap. The smell he emits is basically telling you to stay alert, even though Dave's body language tells you to get up and offer support.

So. You have to slowly lower the tension now, right? Make sure he doesn't suddenly go all alpha on you.

Hm. What would Roxy do in this kind of situation? Omegas are supposed to be naturally good at this, and now you realize how great an ability like that can actually be. Calming and relaxing people with your mere presence, if only half the population on the planet could be omega, or even better if only betas would possess similar abilities.

Uhhh... you wish you would have looked over _this_ stuff again instead of all the etiquette crap you crammed in your head sometime after that last big blooper on Dave's presentation. A few years ago you covered most of that social safety stuff in school to prepare you young folk for these crucial times ahead, yet as closely related as the subjects of etiquette and social safety are you feel very lost now. Come on John, you should be able to remember that just fine, like everyone else does!

What can you say now... ?

You mean like, yeah he needs to feel on top of things you guess, but the possibility of scaring you off appears to cross his mind, too, and that really seems to worry him. So what to say, what to sayyyyy....

He doesn't have to know that originally you didn't think he could be actually dominant in an alpha way to begin with, how shocked you were to see him like that. That would be poking the cat. Lion. You clearly underestimated him, but he doesn't need to know that either. To you, Dave is this big gentle dork that you wrestle down for the remote, you kick each other in the shin under the table, you have casual slap fights whenever the occasion allows it, for a while you even tried to use several 'surprise-judo-throws' on each other after you had these self-defense lessons during gym at school, but you would have never thought Dave capable of... this kind of aggression.

Dave doesn't reply this time. Just considers you through his shades. This pattern becomes kind of unnerving, especially with your weird set-up. You just _have_ to sit up and get a better look at him or you might start to sweat. The moment you try though Dave immediately starts to frown at you, straightens his back a little

"Man. Bro. What the fuck did I tell you. Let's hope Santa brings you a shiny new pair of extra ears, 'cause the one currently in use obviously needs to go into maintenance."

"But the floor is super uncomfortable!" You defend your decision. "My back will get all stiff and stuff! I have to play that dumb duet with Rose later and I promised Dad I'd-"

"Down boy." he makes the appropriate hand movement to command a dog and with a sigh you slowly and very deliberately roll your eyes at him.

You lay back without further protest. Not much at least. "Can I at least roll on my side or my stomach or something?"

"…"

"Dave?"

"Dude, I'm thinking. Don't rush me. I know you're not the smartest cookie in the jar, but it should be kind of obvious that I am not working on full capacity here. Processing is a little delayed, so how about I share a nice, cool cup of relax straight from the strider-fridge to go with your soft cookie. You'll need it."

"Dave." You make a pouty face and now you finally see a happy twitch in his cheek and immediately start to grin victoriously.

"Daaaaaave." you repeat a bit more impishly. Usually, that would indicate you are up to something and spell caution, but you fall right into a pose you think must be as non-threatening as it gets. You stay sprawled out on your back, fold your hands over your head, and stare back at the ceiling, still grinning like there's no tomorrow. You are getting really acquainted with it by now, give it a month and you are closer to this ceiling than you are to Karkat. You're not sure whether or not you want that kind of relationship with a ceiling, though.

"Nah, just stay the way you are."

"So meaaan."

"Alpha rights." he wriggles his eyebrows at you and you groan and roll your eyes. _Again._. So much eye rolling done on your part tonight.

"Not as funny as you think it is."

"Heh. Maybe not on your side of this deal Egbert, but I really can't say I have a problem with the nice view-" You quickly lower your hands to check if maybe your sweater rode up and exposed some stomach or something, "-On the reindeer. Geez. Chill, dude. So fucking aware of me."

"Man, you smell like apples!" you defend yourself and try not to be a bit embarrassed by your sweater-check reaction. "What is there not to be aware of about apples? Like, Hello? Garden of Eden?"

__"A) It's the tree of knowledge. Not the fruit of awareness. B) Am I Adam or Eve?"__

____

__"A) Who cares. B) You're the snake. C) Who cares???"__

____

"The snake." it's not even a question. He's as expressionless as it gets, and even though you know he has to be at least _a little_ appalled you can't find any indications for it in his voice. So either he is actually really calming down, or he suppresses it a lot better when he's alone with you. Normally he suppresses almost nothing when alone with you, so that kind of development would be insanely worrying.

You decide to just confirm your statement. "The snake." you hum with a nod.

"Seriously?" he deadpans you as hard as he possibly can and you can't help but reply with another satisfied hum.

"Spreading the awareness man. Isn't that your thing now? Hehehe." you chuckle and start to play with the hem of the reindeer abomination you're wearing out of lack of anything else to do.

"It doesn't become any more right when you repeat it, Egbert."

"We'll see about that." you form your fingers into a tent right under your chin, all villain-like, and force a deep little "Muhahaha!" out of your throat that finally manages to draw a small yet very genuine smirk on Dave's face. If your position wasn't so awkward you'd do a tiny fist-pump. It's a pity you have such a bad view on his face from here.

For the next few minutes, the only noise in the room is that of Dave's fingers rapping over the keyboard of his laptop, occasionally interrupted by a sigh from you. Your neck is becoming rather stiff. What a stupidly uncomfortable floor this is! You would think the Lalondes could afford more comfortable floors. Psh.

And not only are you laying here all open and exposed, stomach, throat, everything at Dave's disposal but you actually just did what he wanted. You didn't even try to talk back, not really.

Probably because you don't want to take on Dave in earnest. You don't doubt your chances or anything, Dave and you are equals in pretty much every discipline, you usually thumb-wrestle him into oblivion, and even though he outdoes you in the speed department, in close combat that isn't really useful for him. When it's a matter of raw force you have a 50:50 chance of winning if you both are willing to put in the same effort. Well, and you don't let him gain any distance between you two. As soon as he get's the chance to use fast movements you'd be in trouble.

Still, the problem isn't that you think you can't win, or even that you're afraid to lose, but that you don't _want_ any beef with Dave. He's your best friend after all. And other than every single time before, this situation is serious, for some odd reason, you can smell that. You can't describe it any better than with a tingling in the back of your throat every time you breathe in. Nobody can smell their own pheromones, so you're not sure Dave is aware of how much his current odor betrays his relaxed posture and voice.

You know instinctively, that if something came up, you shouldn't just say "no" to him now, or just do what _you_ want. Defy him, ridicule him like he deserves it because come on, he is a lame little nerd pretending to be cool.  
No. No, this is different. Other than you, Dave is probably absolutely focused on victory by ANY means now, looking for competition everywhere and every second. Something neither of you is used to, especially from his end. And that's just not worth it.

Right now you're aware you must look utmost submissive from his point of view. You're not laughing it off and you can't take the edge out of it like usual, not that there ever was an actual edge, but yeah, you get the gist.

Things have changed. You're both growing up, growing out of simpler times, where a well-intentioned insult, a friendly punch in the shoulder, and a slightly awkward bro-hug made everything better.  
You're in the big bad world of grown ups and all-consuming power structures now, full of social trip mines and wires, and questionable but legal methods to climb this mysterious, dangerous mountain called adulthood. A place where everything you do has serious consequences not only for you but also for every pack you're associated with. A place where packs suddenly become much more important than individuality and true trust is something really valuable that you only share with a few special people. A place where it is very much okay to punch someone in the face if you feel disrespected, and either you fight for a higher rank, or you give up and let people trample over you when your pack connections aren't strong enough to support your ambitions. A place where your rank, as well as that of your pack, determine how much you can get away with at the end of the day. (You're really lucky to be so closely connected to all these influential people.)

It's a world you always felt was rather unreal. Fictional even. Exaggerated for the sake of drama and storytelling, examples of a grim future to get kids to pay attention and behave like adults want them to. And it's always been so laughable to you, you couldn't quite imagine how something like the sense of smell of all things would become so important that it could manipulate people to the extent of almost hypnotizing them. How your rank of all things would determine how much violent abuse you have to take or how many grabby admirers you have to endure.

You've always lived in this kind of world, nothing really changed all that much since you've been born, but up until recently you've been blind to all of it.

You wonder if everyone feels like that before second puberty hammers them over the head? Maybe you weren't the only one to doubt the graveness of the whole situation, the actual danger of impending adulthood. The Damocles sword over every child’s head. You all grow up so sheltered, so unaware, innocent even. Maybe that's not actually a good thing. Maybe school should have informed you more, maybe your dad shouldn't have tried to protect you so much from this. There is a good chance that all these unwanted teen pregnancies and all the rape issues stem to a good deal from this innocence adults try to preserve so much.

The closer you get to it the more ill-prepared you feel for adulthood now. Kids should learn how to protect themselves better from the start, learn for adult life sooner rather than play around 24/7 and get run over by instincts the moment second puberty wakes up their inner sex, as opposed to first puberty that develops the childish outer sex into an adult looking one.

You know from TV that the whole fucked up system is a result of your fast evolving civilization, that it would take a few ten thousand years more for your brain and instincts to catch up to the current society structure, and by then that might be redundant anyway, so you never understood what good this information was but you see it now. You think you get it. It's stunning when you think about it. In Dave's head, it's stone age right now. Primal instincts battling the self he carefully developed over 17 years for dominance and control, just as hard as he will fight anyone who stands between him to and whatever rank he wants. Now. The rank he wants now.

Power-hungry Dave... That still doesn't sit right with you. Attention whoring? All the way. That's how you know and love him. You couldn't imagine him any other way. But power-hungry? Violent? A few days ago you'd have laughed it off as ridiculous.

Yet here he is, in desperate need of control, so much it seems to physically pain him. If standing over you can help Dave with his second puberty aggression bullshit, then okay, so be it. That's what friends are there for. You are basically still rankless anyway, and it's not very important to you, to begin with. Not yet. You think. And if it's Dave it's not humiliating or anything. He doesn't really think he's any better than you. In fact, even though he never put it into words you know he feels kind of inferior to you in a shit ton of aspects. For example your amazing social skills!

You glance in Dave's direction and he still types away on his laptop, shoulders relaxed. He seems almost normal again. Except his cheek is twitching a little, and well... He'll kick your ass if you stand up all of a sudden. You don't think that's normal. Even for a pubescent alpha. Maybe he's having an episode. You're not sure of what kind though? A... hormone... rush? That sounds stupid.  
Maybe he's on his period, haha. Damn, you're so funny. Dave should appreciate you so much more. You're such excellent bro material it's almost uncanny! Actually, you should tell him that. 

"Dave?" He doesn't react at first and when he finally does he doesn't even look at you, totally absorbed in whatever he's doing.

"Hmmhm." he sounds a little more relaxed than you thought he would. Huh. Maybe he's feeling better already? Doesn't smell quite like it, though. Wow, what the fuck. Why do you even bother to worry so much about him? Is that alpha pheromones? Is he already manipulating you into thinking about him, subconsciously or not? You're so full of Dave it's kind of creepy. Shit... You really need to get out of his pheromones while you can.

"How long till I can go?" this time Dave actually lifts his head a little to look at you.

"Wow, you wanna leave me already? Do you even care that I'm lonely? A lone teenage alpha, trapped in a tiny room with rosy, fluffy, lacy pillows and nobody to start a pillow fight with. I'm gonna cry. You want to make me cry, dude?"

"Dave you're not even talking to me. You can update your stupid blog stuff without me. I'm bored and my back hurts." you roll your eyes and gesture at him and the laptop.

"So you don't care at all if I cry hot manly man-tears in my reasonably fair and self-inflicted solitude? I dunno how I feel about that, man." as monotone as it sounds, but you think Dave might actually not want you to leave for more reasons than just the obvious. You hold eye contact for a few more seconds than would be healthy, eying him questioningly and trying to show him that even though in the end you will give up, you won't just effortlessly bend at his will. Yet when you notice him shifting his weight you think he might actually stand up and quickly quit it. Shit, he really _is_ feeling uncomfortable, isn't he?

You lift your hands defensively. "Uuuuuurgh. FINE. But I want to be entertained." 

"Can do." he closes the laptop for a moment and after what seems to be some not all that intense thinking he shakes his head. "Can't do."

"Oh come on!"

"No seriously, I can't think of anything."

"That's... pitiful. Do you really feel that bad?"

"The only stuff I can think of is the usual stuff and that would require both of us to move from our current spots." He doesn't really answer your question.

"Huh. I didn't think I'd live to see the day when Dave Strider is shy of stupid ideas."

"... Fuck."

"What?"

"I just remembered I dropped all the cookies in the hallway."

You snort, "Just now?"

"Dude, what do you expect? I was a little preoccupied with not strangling you and- Yeah. Shit. I dropped _everything_." he rubs a hand over his neck and sighs rather defeated. "No wonder I'm feeling so hot. I already got worried it might be you." he puts the laptop on the nightstand and stands up.

You don't know if you should feel more worried or offended. "Excuse me?"

"It's nothing personal, I'm just pretty sure I can do better than that. You. You get what I mean. Life goals: trophy husband." You keep an eye on Dave, who goes to pick up what he dropped, as good as you can without getting up from the floor.

And seriously, the longer Dave remains standing the weirder you feel for just laying there. You really should get up and leave. Like, the fuck? You're prepared now, he won't be able to just throw and cage you against the next surface like before. You’re usually not as easy a target! Actually you- He closes the door sooner than expected and you watch Dave come to a stop right next to you. And just like before you have a really great view up his nostrils from here, which is something you never wanted to have, and now you know why.

"Well, that was quick."

"Harley cleaned the hallway for me. It's kinda funny because usually, she forces me to pick stuff like that up myself. You know, because Striders have maids for this shit like every self-respecting stinking rich person, and Harleys apparently find that to be unacceptable and need to put us in our place." he eats a cookie and starts to talk while chewing. "You think that means something? Like, don't get me wrong I'm not hoping for anything here, I love her and shit, but we just don't work out. Not for long anyway." he takes one from the bowl and drops it on your chest before readjusting the cooling packs, one on each of his shoulders.

You roll your eyes and decide not to comment on his connection to Jade and that he is a big lazy bum who just doesn't want to risk ruining his manicured nails with some simple cleaning, and instead quickly change the subject to something less awkward and gut-wrenching than his relationship issues with your cousin, who is actually your aunt, whose boobs you still have disgustingly fresh in your mind. Also the reason she picked those up is probably because she has the wrong idea about you and Dave thanks to your stupid lies. Plus, you discovered a while ago that especially Dave's love life is something better left undiscussed.

As much as you know he'd enjoy bragging in detail, you'd end up being kind of jealous and probably call him something mean like the resident locker room towel. Shit, but he really gets around, and you're not sure if that's a sign of too high or too low self-esteem. And when he starts complaining you just really want to tell him his relationships might work better when he'd actually take his time to get to know someone before changing partners at the first little sign of trouble. Which is unfair considering he had really long lasting relationships with both, Terezi, and Jade. And he seemed pretty happy too...

"She gave me a pretty funny look on the hallway." he continues and you are harshly reminded of the stupid bi-lie yet again. Just why is it that you can't think straight under pressure. No pun intended. Change the subject, fast! You poke the cookie that's still on your chest with one finger.

"Ew, that was on the floor, Dave!"

"Oh come on, the floors here are pretty much sterile. Squeaky clean. Clean enough to serve as a mirror, clean enough to have surgery on the open heart right there in the hallway. Definitely not threatening the integrity of a cookie. There, see?" He remains standing next to you while biting a chunk out of an especially nice looking triple chocolate cookie.

"I don't know what you think that's proving. Just because I see _you_ eating from the floor doesn't mean I'll magically want to join in, you know?"

"Don't be like that Egbert, it's not poisonous." he shoves the rest of the flat, sweet confection into his mouth and bends far enough forward that the remnants of it crumble on your sweater as he tries to chew with his mouth closed. Emphasis on _tries_. You frown and swat his calf.

"Dave, I saw you eating a worm. Eat the dirt cookies yourself."

"Worms ain't poisonous either, and I won. It was _your_ stupid dare. If it bothers you so much, don't dare me." His mouth isn't empty yet but he already waves another cookie in your direction.

"I didn't think you'd do it! See that's why we don't play 'If I were you' anymore!"

"If I were you I'd eat that cookie."

"Dave-"

" _If I were you_ , I'd eat that cookie." he still sounds every bit like the cool kid he wants to be. His face doesn't indicate how serious he is either.

You sigh and deliberately slowly take the cookie from your chest, pick a bit of lint that obviously came from your own sweater off of it, and start to eat it. It's weird how Dave observes you as if this was really important. Geez, it's just a dirty cookie, what's the big deal?

You still have your mouth full when you point towards the bed.

"If I were you, I'd give my best friend who's suffering on the floor my pillow to make him more comfortable." you watch as his head follows your finger. He winces.

"Oh come on, I sleep on that!" he complains, but you just grin at his resistance.

You're not impressed and you try not to laugh because you'd spit chewed cookie everywhere, mainly on yourself.. "If I were-"

"John you smell!" he almost barks it out, effectively silencing you for a few seconds, eyes wide as you try to process the stunner, and swallow the half chewed bits of cookie. He did not just say that. What the heck.

"Wow... Rude." you grumble and he does the little head move, rolling his eyes at you.

"You know that's not what I mean. You have Lalonde's stench all over you. Like hell I'll let you rub that into my precious face relaxation station." He walks over to another bed to throw you the pillow of one of his brother's.

"Ah, ah, ah! That's not what I'd do _if I were you_ , Dave." you tease and are immediately rewarded with an annoyed little grunt.

"Nope. Fuck that." the pillow hits you square in the face, and the moment you pull it down to rearrange it under your head Dave has already positioned himself on his bed comfortably. You can't help but frown a little.

You just made peace with the thought of playing this stupid game (that you swore you'd never play again after you made Dave eat that whole can of french escargot and he threw up on your shoes), and already came up with some funny ideas and now this. You ate the cookie, and he can't even sacrifice a pillow he could easily replace! It's not like there are no more pillows in this freaking palace of a place!

... If it's like this then it's not the game, and you just did what he wanted with no higher function than that. He bossed you around. No, he manipulated you. Not even with hormones, just with brains. And that kinda sucks. It bugs you. You know you should just comply and be happy he feels calmer, help with his hormone bullshit and all, but-

"Dave if you give up first you'll have to pay up." and with paying you mean endure punishment. The game can only end when someone gives up and whoever gives up first has to do the cinnamon challenge, film himself, and upload that on a channel on YouTube Dave made just for that purpose. By now there is a massive collection of those videos on the challenge, most of which end with either of you retching and spitting in your respective kitchen sinks, another reason why you stopped playing 'if I were you'.

Everyone knows 'if I were you', there is really not much to explain about it, and it's easy to understand. It's like triple dog daring someone, jinxing them, and playing Simon Says combined, only that on top of that it's a serious contest. You don't have to constantly challenge each other but naturally the longer you play the meaner both of you become, and so one round can go for days. There _are_ rules, but these rules are purposefully loose. In two words: It's hell and meant to be abusive. But playing is pretty much a question of honor.

Or at least it's always been in the past. He just gave up immediately, as if it meant nothing, and you wonder if that is another of these "won't do it because I'm an adult" things Dave has now.

"Will do. As soon as I get home." he doesn't move even one facial muscle. Like a stupid Sphinx! Super stupid. Really incredibly stupid. It's slowly becoming irritating.

Just a minute ago he was finally back to joking with you, and it felt actually pretty natural. Like normal. What did you do wrong to revert it back to the guy you met on the other side of that door?  
You've been in here with him how long now? Fifteen minutes? Twenty? And he still can't decide what mood he's in, and apparently thinks he can manipulate you just like that. Who does he think he is? Rose? Because Rose is pretty much the only one who can do that without you noticing it by now! Maybe Dirk could too, but you stay clear of him the best you can. But Dave is neither of them. He's not Dirk, and he's not Rose.

He's definitely not Rose.

"Dave if you don't give me your pillow I'll go get it myself." You're serious. And actually pretty pleased with the way that came out, a little deeper and calm. You try to look as determined and annoyed with him as humanly possible, but again he's not even looking in your general direction. Not even reacting to your tone of voice, the challenge you practically just flung at him goes completely ignored.

What? So your friends are so sure you wouldn't consciously provoke anything that they don't even think it necessary to check when you growl? Considering the state Dave is in you expected a different reaction. You pout to yourself for a moment longer before you finally get an answer, and then it's in a joking tone that really makes you want to stand up and see what happens. Just to defy him!

"You don't wanna go down this road man, that's a dangerous place to be at this time of the night, would hate to attend your funeral, like, fuck I think I don't even have the right suit for this kind of occasion. So awkward. I'd be the only guy in a fluffy, neon green felt abomination, lovechild of a glowstick and Oscar the grouch, the green after 1970 version, not the original orange one, and how would _that_ look? Wouldn't want to steal the show on your big day. If I even get to be there I mean I'd probably land in the slammer for murdering the hell out of your jailba-... Heh, dude, I just realized, if you die now you'll end on the kiddy side of the graveyard. Holy shit. You could get one of these creepy-cute gravestones, engraved with a teddy, a clown, or balloons in the upper right corner. But don't worry man, I'll make sure it's the harlequin kind of clown and not the weird fat, red nosed, nightmarish abominations, that's a little more mature. What? You wanna express your gratitude? Nah, no need to thank me, man, what are bros for? I mean yeah I'd be the one who put you to bed with a pick-axe and a shovel in the first place, but seriously I'd take full responsibility and make sure your dad picks a tasteful clown for you. That's the least I can do, I know how much you secretly love Harlequins."

You press your lips into a thin line the moment he mentions the clown. You were kind of done with his shit before that, but the clowns kind of sealed the deal. He knows you hate them. Even the mention of them makes something twist uncomfortably in your gut, and he knows it. There is no limit to the hatred you harbor for them, and he knows it. You're not even scared of them, for some reason they just piss you off! Like Dave!

Let's see how much alpha really is in this cocky blond."I'll give you a minute to mentally prepare before I stand up.", you just need a moment to gather yourself, okay? You're not nervous, you totally got this!

"I see we feel very brave tonight." he taunts you and finally turns his head to face you. He's still expressionless, though. You don't even get a raised brow in reaction. He doesn't take you serious at all. Didn't Jade say he wanted to provoke you? Here you are, open and ready and Dave just doesn't jump at it!

"What's even the worst that could happen?" you scoff and there it is again, the little movement of his head that indicates he just rolled his eyes at you.

"On first instinct? I'd say you should mind my magnificent set of straight, white, and perfectly shaped teeth."

"Oh come on." you click your tongue and he huffs a condescending laugh.

"Com'on, my just as amazingly perfect dick, Egbert. Don't act like you know the urges man. Even with you just laying there all non-threatening and submissive it's hard not to just get up and take y-yyyyyy ..." he trails off mid-sentence, only now realizing what he was about to say. His mouth is hanging open ever so slightly until he sucks in a sharp breath. "... Fuck." he purses his lips as if that would help anything. The words are already out. Mostly.

"... Uh." what does one answer to that? Get up and take your...? Your what? Whatever would've come after that surely wasn't going to be pleasant.

"I have no idea where that came from." he scratches the back of his head and tries to focus his attention back on the keyboard of his laptop, tapping the famous 'any key'.

"Uhhhhh..." well, that's not awkward at all. Sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm.

"Well. That was weird. Don't think I meant- ... No. No, you know what? Actually, that shit shouldn't surprise you like, at all." you turn back to look at him and now he's actually full on looking back at you. Despite the shades you can tell you're making direct eye contact. His tone with you becomes a good deal harsher too.  
"Stop looking so shocked, the fuck did you think is going to happen when you approach me like that? I told you to not come closer, _and you do!_ I told you I'm banned from social activities and you make your way _in here_ anyway! I'm trying man, but I'm no saint. So stop fucking with me and stay where you are." he sighs deeply and combs his fingers through his thin fringe and to the back of his head. "At least until I can hear myself think again."

Oh... my... Did anyone hear that? You think that might have been the sound of your jaw dropping.

"Dave...? Are you in... uh, in... uhm heat?" he freezes, becomes stiff as a board for a few seconds, and you feel a cold rush spread under your skin, causing a mad case of the heebie-jeebies.

"Egbert-"

"Please say no." you interrupt him, and a crease forms between his eyebrows.

Again, he sighs in exasperation and cards a hand through his hair, but this time it stops in his neck to stay and rub there rather awkwardly. "Of course not? Fuck, don't you think you'd have already fallen victim to the vicious pheromone-cocktail that's bound to come with it if I were?"

"Bu-! But the cooling packs, the lack of patience, and you can't really concentrate, and- Why??" Now it's him who can't hold eye contact, he actually quickly faces in a whole other direction. Doesn't want to look at you at all.

"Look, I..." He takes a heavy breath, sighs through his nose, looks for the right words. Or maybe just any words that would make sense to you. Or not embarrass him. Though you're not sure he cares too much about that in front of you. "I had a rather.... thorough... Shit. Okay just trust me here, I know exactly when my seasons come, doc said I'm bound to be more of the reliable regular schedule kind of guy, and I tell you it's not now. And while we're already at it and it's not gonna get any less awkward then now I guess I should use the magic of the moment and warn you, mid-January my first heat is due. And if I'm on the dot like the doc said it should naturally continue April, July, and October if you _have_ to know. So rest assured it's definitely _not now_. Now, can we not talk about this anymore?" He rubs harder over his neck, tapping a few random looking keys on the laptop.

You can't quite grasp it all, though."Then-! Okay, but- I mean, uh... Why???"

"... Egbert I- I swear I'd explain it if I could-"

"Dave-"

" _No_. I need you to be sensitive now Egbert. I know that's not your strong suit and shit but stay with me and listen close. Believe me I know you're not the sensitive kind of guy and I never really cared because fuck that shit we got it going, one way or another I'm enough emotionally disturbed little flower for the both of us anyway, but as a friend, as your god damn bro, I officially ask you to not make me put thought in the thing that I am trying to avoid thinking about with all I can muster, and that's currently not much, to begin with. Just. Stop. Here." he tugs a cooling pack from his shoulder to drape it over his head.

"...." Again, just what do you answer to that? You want to tell him you are plenty sensitive and that you really care, you do! But that might be kind of nitpicky. This is not about you after all.

"It's not heat." he repeats with a bit more urgency and you slowly nod, try to reassure him a little. What else can you do?

"Okay."

"Seriously."

"Okay. I believe you. You made yourself clear, okay? Okay. I just try to think about... uh, what else it could be, I guess." well would you look at that, it's your old friend, the ceiling. How ya doin' old friend?  
You lace your fingers together over your stomach and try not to knit them nervously.

" _Egbert._ " you flinch at the way he growls your name and instinctively stiffen your neck to lessen the risk of accidentally looking him into the eye. Shades. Eye-shades. Whatever.  
You discover that hearing his voice like that never fails to make you feel like you're falling. Just for a second, though, like that moment when an elevator stops and it makes your insides jump an inch. "Change the subject." he orders and again you nod sharply and try to think of something else. You bet your head is just as fogged with the situation at hand as his.

It's pretty clear that even just talking about this thing he has brings him closer to some kind of limit. Whatever limit that is. You don't want to find out. You're pretty sure it's the source of the sour apple smell he's still emitting, though.

"Wanna play Card Wars?" he offers, forces himself to soften his tone. It's a desperate effort to entertain you somehow and keep you grounded; literally. In your eyes his choice in entertainment proves again just how much of a dumb nerd he is, and you'd totally indulge him because Adventure Time is really sweet, but you can't.

"Dave, it's Christmas, remember where we are. Dad and Grandpa collected all cell phones in that stupid brown bag when we arrived. We got to check for any messages from you guys when you just didn't arrive but that's it. Grandpa called it TER. 'Temporary Emergency Rights'. But now all the phones are back in that bag."

"Not mine, guess they forgot."

"Well okay, but they still have mine."

"Just gimme a second to install a genymotion emulator and download the game on the laptop so we can do duels, I already have the oracle VM VirtualBox so that should be-"

"That wouldn't work, you know I forgot my password I can only play from my own cell."

"Right." he sighs and throws his head back before he draws a long, slow breath through his teeth. "Yeeeh. Hm, so, wanna play on my-"

"So you can accuse me of magically erasing cards from your deck while you weren't looking because you're shit at finding things? Yeah right."

"Will you ever forget that?"

"Unlikely." you sigh and try not to think about the massive beef you two had that week. The card wars situation only added fuel to the fire...

The silence that follows is kind of uncomfortable. Then grows _really_ uncomfortable. You're about to tell him to go to the bathroom so you can leave without him flipping his shit, that's the best plan you can come up with when very suddenly something soft hits you in the face.

You yelp and flail your limbs on instinct, lift what hit you over your head and find it's another pillow.

Dave's pillow?

You look back at Dave, lift a puzzled eyebrow before he shrugs and you hug his pillow to your chest. You already lie on Dirk's pillow, what are you supposed to do with another? Weirdo. He already gave up, you won't let that count now, or should you? It's not-

"If I..." it's almost a whisper.

You turn your head again, he's not looking at you, though. ...

"Did you say something?" you can't help but be a little skeptic of him. If you remember correctly he said he didn't want Rose's smell to rub off on his pillow? Why would he change his mind and give it to you now after all that r-

"If I were you, I'd submit to me here and now." his voice is firm, serious. He still refuses to even glance in your direction.

Your eyes grow wide the second he mentions submission. It's not fair to ask for it. Okay, yes, Rose did it too, but only because you needed forever and kind of signaled you wanted to _all day long_. You just - uh... Anyway! With Dave- you've tried to challenge him several times in the last 10 minutes! No tender submission signals coming from you here. One does not outright try to force someone to give in. What an unsettling trend this is, that's not submission that's domin- ... Oh- OH! Is he- ... Ooooooh. Heh.

"Heh. Hehehe." you quickly slap a hand over your mouth, but Dave already noticed your amusement. If you're not mistaken he is a little miffed about it. Haha, shit. You try to muffle the mad giggle fit bubbling up your throat and only barely succeed. He probably glares daggers at you, but you can't even glance in his direction to confirm it. It already takes a lot of effort not to outright laugh- because holy shit Dave you dumb loser -, so you squeeze them peepers shut. He doesn't comment on it, though.

You clear your throat- "Heh- Da- Eh-HM!" your voice jumps up another octave and you clench your teeth as you try to cover the rising laughter with some coughing and harrumphing. "Hmmmmm. You're an idiot loser."

"Why well thank you Egbert." yeah, it really bothers him. That's oddly cute when you think about it. The _why_ and stuff.

"No seriously, hehe, you just used one for something I planned to do today anyway! So impatient, Dave! Makes you look kinda desperate don't you think?"

"..."

"What?" you grin victoriously. So what will you make him do next in return? After you did what he said he'd do if he were you of course, which would be submit to him if you were hi- no, if he were., uh... Yeah, that was right, if he were you. Wow, that sounds more complicated than it is when you go and apply that fucked up phrasing into the equation.

Hmmm. Sooo. You can't tease him too much, or make him do anything downstairs, at least not today. But you have time, you don't have to give him the return right away. This is a game centered around patience, stubbornness, and a high tolerance for all kinds of stupid stuff.

First, you have to get this submission stuff over with, though. This is the second round for you so this should be a lot easier! You know what's coming and it's not so nerve wrecking anymore. You smile at him, confident.

Dave doesn't seem convinced and it reads on his face. "You're really okay with me?" he seems more surprised than he should and you almost frown.

"Dude, you are _both_ my alphas? Kind of? Just because she beat you to the punch doesn't mean she's more or less important than you. And anyway, bros before uh lady-friends, right? I just want everything to be normal between the four of us, so let's get it over with." you shrug his unwarranted concerns off.

Dave, Rose, and Jade. That's your chosen pack. The friends you picked as your closest circle, and who chose you to be in their closest circle as well. You'd think Dave would know he is important to the three of you, just as you three are to him. He has no reason not to trust in that.

"…" apparently he is still feeling skeptic.

"Dave, if it's bothering you so much then let's just do it? Like, right now. Let's get it over with, okay?"

" _Let's get it over with._ That's so bromantic I'm at a loss for words. Be still my beating heart, for these words just rocked my metaphorical boat of whatever." he lowers his head to rub at his forehead and you want to make fun his uncreative attempt to ramble but again think better of it. After all, he said he needed you to be sensitive. And you can do that no problem. 

You grin. "I know man, I'm such a sweet talker."

"You sure you want... so casually?" you start to get the feeling he didn't think he'd get your consent so easily. What's the problem? You said yes, didn't you? Shouldn't that be affirmation enough? 

"Anything that gets me off this floor is favorable to stiff vertebrae." you shrug yet again and after a quick once over you realize the fingers of one of his hands thrum in a one-two rhythm against his thigh.

"…" he's clearly thinking it over.

Why is he hesitating now? Wasn't he the one who wanted this so much he gave up his precious pillow for it? "I don't mind. Nobody's looking, and I trust you. Also, fuck you for making me say that now I feel weird. But I trust you." you lift a hand and wave him over. He readjusts the cooling packs still draped over him, reaches for a cookie but decides against it just before his hand makes contact with the bowl, then balls it into a fist on top of the blanket instead.

"That's... nice, I guess, but not the issue. She has taken the fucking base note, everything on top of that is just a gimmick, a backup. Hate to break it to you, but for the next week or so you're contaminated, dude. Not really looking forward to hanging with you. A Strider ain't not takin' second billin' to no one."

"You're such a Diva." escapes you with a sigh, and despite it sounding more annoyed than you are you don't regret saying it one bit. Come on, it's Dave! Switch the a with the e and you're almost there!

From Dave's bed comes a grumpy "Whatever." that doesn't seem to be able to decide whether it wants to make sure you know he's irritated and intimidate you, or show how little such petty nicknames get to him.

If he thinks it's no good now then why did he dare you to it?? ... Oh, fuck this. Just- NOPE. Your heads starting to spin and Dave is in the center of it all. The apple scent has become overwhelming and you didn't even notice it. It's safe to assume Dave is doing _something_ to your head, consciously or not.

Yeah...

Like he said, you just submitted to Rose, and when you really think about it doesn't feel right to be able to flip a switch and just concentrate on Dave like this, you should probably really leave. He seems to have pretty good self-control at the moment, so maybe...

"So... uh-" you're about to push yourself to your elbows, but Dave gets on his feet faster than you can. Two big steps and he is standing next to you, a slow and deliberate step more and he towers over you, one ankle brushing each of your thighs. He's staring you down.

He made up his mind just in time for you to start to doubt yours.

You know what's going to happen now, or have an idea of it at least. You told him you wanted to, but something feels off. He remains standing where he is while you carefully push yourself up and into a sitting position, still leaning backward on your hands to not have your face too close to his crotch. The position Dave chose is... kind of weird. At best. Can you stand up now, or... uh.

You wait, but for some reason, he's not moving and you're a little too nervous to crawl out from underneath him and stand up. You probably should, though? Uh, because when Rose- When you submitted to Rose you got all weak-kneed, so when you submit it might be smarter to remain sitting? You guess. In movies they almost always stand for it, though. Maybe it's a simple case of movie bullshit.

God, this is awkward. What's he waiting for? Does he want you to get up, or what? Like, uh, you'll just stand there in the middle of the room? You lean your head a little to the side to get a better look on his face, and that's when Dave finally moves down to kneel over you.

You're a little taken aback at first before you realize he was waiting for you to bare your neck to him. You feel the strong urge the face palm. That wasn't hard to figure out, you should have realized that he was waiting for you to give him the sign that you're ready. Maybe you expected this to be less... well, uh, he kind of was pretty forceful when he pulled you around in the kitchen. And now you feel bad for even thinking about this, because this is Dave, your best friend, and it's like you're accusing him of not caring about this at all! Sorry, Dave.

As an alpha he can't take initiative in this, can't really be the one closing in on you without the signal to go. He'd become the dominant party and simply take the meaning out of it. Submission is an invention of betas to pacify alphas, their 'attempt at leniency'.

Alphas themselves can only dominate, which should never be a factor in submission. Submitting is all about the lower ranked party deciding to do so. Add the slightest bit of pressure and it becomes domination, and domination doesn't further the trust that is needed to form a proper social pack. There is a big red line drawn between being dominated and submitting to someone that is hard to miss. Basically: Submission is a choice, domination takes away all choices.

With this you choose Dave and he gives you the ability to make your own choices in his presence in return like Rose did before him. Naturally, you'd have to distance yourself to an alpha and show respect for their position, but by accepting your submission they pretty much give you a free pass to mess with them. Okay, well, not mess with them, but you'll do just that, like usual. You guess if you go with the generic description it's more like, 'If the alpha of your choice accepts your submission, it effectively lowers their natural aggression level and competitive nature towards you and heightens their tolerance for more intimate/friendlier interaction.'

Well, and you'll reward an alpha for this by giving him the one thing an alpha can't achieve with determination and brute force. Friendship and someone to put trust in and makes you feel trustworthy in return. It felt really nice when Rose accepted you, it would be a lie to say you didn't look forward to sharing this bond with Dave as well.

You watch as Dave positions himself over your middle. Doesn't look like he's planning to sit in your lap and you're kind of glad. He's not as light as he looks, and it would be rather strange even for you two.  
That and looming over you like this allows him to remain in a stance that enables him to easily pin you down should you change your mind and decide to just mess with him, so maybe this is actually some kind of power play for his weird aggressions. Why would he even think you'd mess with him? You wouldn't! Well, not now, anyway this whole caging you against any kind of surface, mainly the door and the floor, seems to help in keeping him calm. Or calm _er_. You resist the urge to groan and roll your eyes at such an obvious and cliche alpha issue.

God, he really gives off a feeling of uncertainty. Is that a first time thing? Did Rose get the same feeling from you? What did she do about that again. "Dave, you know I'm not messing with you, right?" you try to focus on his shades while keeping your head tilted to the side, still leaning up on your elbows because fuck that you won't just lay on your back and let him do whatever. You don't have a trust issue here though, it's more of a dignity issue!

"Heh, I know, dork. Just shut up and don't ruin this for us." From what you can see he his breathing is a little strained, that combined with the impression that he needs to depend on little power displays like not letting you sit up all the way and kneeling threateningly over you is kind of worrying.

"Me?" you fake innocence and earn a smirk from him.

"Yeah you, want me to make you a list of good things you've goofed and pranked into ruin up til now?" A single eyebrow quirks over his shades. His hands move towards you but he quickly pulls them back again, balling them into fists a few times before thinking better of it and he leans more towards you.

"No thanks, I have my own list of accomplishments." you try not to lean further back as he closes in.

He snorts a half laugh in response, and you think he whispers "Accomplishments." but you more see his lips move than hear his voice.

One of Dave's hands snakes itself between your arm and chest and comes to rest on your back between your shoulder blades, applying only mild pressure. You get the message and let your head roll completely to one side in response, close your eyes, breathe him in, try to relax.

He still smells sour, almost a little bitter. If you wouldn't have submitted to Rose earlier you might not have thought much about the discomfort that causes you, but you can't say there isn't an obvious difference in the vibes you get. Last time you picked up his scent it was way sweeter, put you in a good mood, kinda appetizing. But the way he smells today, it makes your mouth water, but not in a good way. The smell in itself just makes you wary. Almost like a danger sign.

When you submitted to Rose she smelled appealing from the start, you felt she was open for you, waiting and there for you to put your trust into. But Dave? There is no opening. At least not one you could see, smell or otherwise recognize. You don't know how you are able to tell, maybe by instinct, but to you he smells tense, prickly, uneasy, and that's exactly what it makes you feel in return.

An embarrassing thought crosses your mind and you hope it doesn't show on your face. Maybe you don't trust him as much as you thought you did.

"Relax." he mumbles and a reassuring hand scratches your back on top of the ugly Rudolf sweater. It's really gentle, acting in contrast to what his scent tells you about his feelings. So confusing...

You see him lean down out of the corner of your eye, feel the fingers still the moment his face dips out of sight. You close your eyes again and ready yourself for that long awkward moment of suspense and heavy breathing when all of a sudden his forehead rubs against your shoulder.

Oh-! OH! Okay, he cuts right to the good stuff, no tension building like with Rose. Haha, you're guys. Riiiight. You don't need that. The pressure is lifted from your shoulder and the hand on your back disappears ever so slowly to support more of his weight, leaving you alone in the dark behind closed eyelids, wondering how far away from the floor you are. You really don't want to lay down when he is... on top... of...

A sharp breath gets sucked through his nose not far from your ear and you almost startle. You can't help but realize he is actually still focusing on your shoulder, which compared to your usual closeness feels oddly formal and... distant. It's all so off! This is so-

"Hnn..." a small noise escapes your bro in form of a sigh and you're not sure how to interpret it. Can't really think about it as your head is filled with the noise of Dave's sniffing. Like a dog that's trying to pick up a particularly difficult track. You want to ask if everything is okay, but interrupting him now would not only be rude but also undermine his authority. You have to wait and have some faith. Have some trust in your best friend, Dave is the alpha so he has to take lead.

Though maybe that's the actual problem here. Didn't he always say he didn't want to become an alpha? Rather be normal, like you? And now he's doing an alpha thing, that could be the reason why his scent is still so disagreeable. Maybe he really doesn't want to take the lead and-

"Ah, fuck this." Dave grunts, and before you get to wonder what he means or even be alarmed he presses his face into your neck like usual. You jump, almost jerk away but stop yourself in the last second. His hair brushes against your face, you feel his hot breath down your neck- damn. Your head is swarming with paranoid thoughts which you pray are just a manifestation of the cautious feeling that Dave's sour apple scent causes. A nervous feeling you most certainly share with him in this moment.

This feels wrong. Really wrong. Having him in your neck was always a little uncomfortable, no matter what you said or did you were always somewhat aware that it isn't a thing you and Dave should be doing, and definitely not that casually.  
You should have stopped this the first time it happened, you were just kind of... flattered. He made your friendship special, put it on a higher level, superior to all other friendships. The weird intimacy he created between you without causing any tension was always a sign to you, that you were meant to be best friends. With anyone else you would have shouted "NO HOMO!" and pushed them away with a loud nervous laugh, but you and Dave are friends. Best friends! It's not _like that._

He nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck and takes slow and deliberate deep breaths. Your stomach is somersaulting and the way Dave smells right now from so up close is not one bit comforting. Still too sour, still a little bitter, but now there is this weird layer of sweet on top which only lasts for half a second every time you breathe in. You don't know how to describe it... It's artificial in the most natural way. Even breathing through your nose you can taste a thin sheen of wrong on the back of your tongue. 

You can't calm down like that, just what are you doing wrong? With Rose, it was so easy just seconds after she ducked in! You're even closer to Dave than to her, you two are best friends, this should be even easier! So why isn't it?  
Ahhh, shit, you shouldn't- Come on. Let go, John. Don't concentrate on what's going wrong and- FUCK YOU! His mouth moves against your skin and you almost jolt up in reaction, ball your hands into tight fists on the floor instead. It feels kind of moist, is that still just his breath??

"Can't get the hang of it like that, man, you're just..." he barely whispers against your neck and it tickles, "Would you loosen up already? It's just me..." oh god that voice gives you goosebumps. What's up with this quiet and low tone? Is he trying to calm you down? That's not going to work as long as he smells like this! Before you know it the hand on your back returns to its position between your shoulder blades, and he starts to rub slow deliberate circles into your tense muscles.

It feels kind of unnatural and you simply squeeze your eyes shut harder as you lean your head up against his shoulder in return. That's a really weird mood you two have going on here, but why? Just last month your were all over each other when watching Titanic, tangled limbs and everything, and it didn't hitch your breath like this, didn't slowly raise your pulse. Something is different, and you don't like it.

You think Dave knows just as well as you that this isn't going to work, not like this, but for some reason he doesn't stop. Why can't he give up? You can always try another time! Though you have to admit that the thought of looking Dave in the eyes after failing to submit might be hard...

But what if he thinks it's supposed to be like this? If not for Rose being your first you would probably think the same and just assume that submission isn't like in the movies after all, but you already had the amazing experience of submitting and that was only two hours ago or something. You can say with confidence that for some reason you can't give him submission right now, everything about him appears to tell you you're doing something wrong.

Dave rubs his nose more insistently into your neck and takes another deep breath. "Can't smell you at all..." the sad confusion in his voice is all you need to decide to stop this right here before he can actually get upset about this failure and take it out on you, continue what he started in the kitchen.

You slowly lift a hand and put it on his shoulder, pat it a few times. "Dave? This... isn't really working." you carefully apply pressure to push him up and are immediately warned by a growl as the hand on your back fists into your ugly sweater.

"Relax, I got this." he mutters into your skin and his hot mouth suddenly gives you a far more intimate and sexual vision of this situation. It's not just your hyper-awareness because of the lie you told Jade, this just isn't submission. He just pushed nice off the table, together with your choice. This is Dave trying to prove something, to confirm something he cannot get confirmed. Something he _must_ have noticed you don't have for him at this moment, yet he refuses to let go!

The tight sensation in your chest grows from uncomfortable to breath-restricting. This is not bro-cuddles, his lips are on your neck and he's sniffing you like he usually would, but it completely lacks the whole feeling of bonding as friends. This is supposed to be a part of a necessary exercise in adult society, in trust building, yet it's clear that this is not for your social pack, not for comfort, it's for his damn ego.

This isn't dry, his mouth stands slightly open and his breath feels moist. Just the way hips lips drag over your skin when he speaks- this is sexual and raises every hair on your body. That can't be just your imagination, this is really in the situation.

You're aghast.

The moment that hits you your eyes snap back open and the hand on his shoulder pushes more insistently. Hastily you try to readjust your head and take his space at your neck away. "Dave." you try to keep calm, don't really mean to provoke him further, but oh you're so done here. When he still doesn't budge and fails to react to your kind of alarmed tone of voice you begin to growl, let him know how serious this is, " _Dave._ "

Without warning the hand he has in the back of your sweater moves, shoots up to grab a bunch of your hair and roughly pulls your head back. Your scalp burns and you gasp in shock.

"DAVID!" you protest, calling his actual name for the first time in years, knowing full well how much he hates it, try to make him understand as fast as possible that you are dead-serious.

"Don't call me that." his mouth is at your ear and you full body shiver at the sensation. Holy shit, oh wow that felt... you need a moment to realize what's happening here, and it scares the shit out of you. You gave him the benefit of the doubt, he has hormone issues after all, but with this-  
He has to realize that this whole situation just blatantly screams 'SEX' in your faces! He usually is the one to catch onto these things faster than you, he can't possibly be oblivious to what you two are doing here.

You're still using one hand to keep you at least partly off the floor, the other one is on Dave's shoulder to keep him from penetrating your personal space any further, but not only does it get harder to counter the way he is pushing down by pushing up _without_ just pressing yourself into him, but the intense smell of apples taps heavily into your fight or flight instinct. And if the pheromones he puts out tell you that then you better get the fuck out of there and don't waste any more time.

You lift your hand from the floor and try to punch him in the side of his head, and that's when you feel Dave's teeth and your heart misses a beat. He's just grazing your skin, a little below your ear close to your jawline, it's bewildering you to the point of wavering in your resolve, and giving him just enough time to push you the last bit down. Your back hit's the pillow and you want to yell at him but wince when the hand in your hair pulls your head against one of your shoulders to make more room for his mouth. The teeth on your neck start to apply just a bit of pressure, just enough to make you feel it down south and send your heartbeat into overdrive. Warning you. Teasing...

Holy shit. This can't be happening, he doesn't even smell appealing, it's almost a bit like cider vinegar! He doesn't even try to be seductive why do you still- You're still 100% you, there is no pheromone-induced haze staggering you and swaying your perception to work in his favor. It's just you and him and panic, and somehow he's pushing all the right buttons anyway and with so much ease-

The teeth on your neck ease up and are immediately followed by a hot and eager tongue lapping over the slightly irritated patch of skin. "AH! Fffffff-!" Your body feebly twitches upwards. Seemingly helpless you buck your pelvis upwards instinctively searching for another that isn't there, he still leaves room between you. This is- amaz- Oh god his mouth travels lower! This can't be happening wasyourneckalwaysthissensitive how can just this much be so overwhelming, there is no way- "Oh- Hnnn, oh g- Dave! Wait-"

He makes a small noise of approval and bites down harder, causing your goosebumps to intensify and your breathing to pick up another notch. You can't bring yourself to really push up against him anymore and instead, dig your nails into his shoulder as he lets go in favor of soothing over the assaulted piece of flesh with his tongue. He repeats this pattern a few times, and you let him leave a tingling trail in the wake of his hot mouth, only to find a spot that drives you particularly crazy just by feeling him breathe on it and he decides to not continue any further down and instead bite down just a bit harder, testing the water.

Even if you want to put the sense of euphoria that's overcoming you into words you can't, your brain kind of insists on melting into a puddle of joy. He bites down even harder, pressure slowly increasing until a bright pain jolts through you, and finally, you give in. You lift your other arm to grab him and turn your head to bury your face in his neck as you whimper. You can feel him tense in your arms and he moans into your skin. Holy shit that hurts! It really hurts you think you might cry, yet for some reason, it goes straight to your dick. Just how does he do that with just teeth, just there on your neck.

So incredibly hot, so... Erotic. Dave is-

Dave... Is...

Somewhere in the back of your head you can hear Jade soothingly whisper. "Bi is not gay..."

Dave. It's _Dave_.

Your eyes snap open as you remember just who that is above you. Who is filling you with this amazing feeling, and to your biggest shame, with- with lust. 

Dave's teeth dig deeper into you and a horribly high-pitched mewl that makes your voice crack escapes you as the pain intensifies. It elicits another deep and throaty moan out of Dave that involuntarily makes your hips buck up into the empty space between your bodies yet again. You want to reciprocate, want to return some of this pleasure he's giving you, but now that logic is back online it scares the hell out of you.

You're starting to panic, squirm, want to tell him you can't do this! Wasn't he the one who didn't want second puberty to come, who didn't want to change anything about your relationship, no matter how little?? Your mouth is already standing wide open yet refuses to form words, your voice just produces small, suppressed noises in an effort to not just cry your wanton desire into Dave's ear. You know the second you try to tell him "Don't do this, please stop!" it will immediately shorten into "Don't stop!", but what else can you do? It should be a lot easier to fight him off, you definitely could fight him off, but- oh but this feels so- What the hell are you doing? What now??

You could still lean back and try to relax into the feeling, see where this journey leads you, enjoy what is truly nothing but enjoyable even if it hurts, or maybe because of it, just thankfully take everything Dave has to offer... _Dave._ It echoes in your head again, reminds you that the person above you and heavily breathes onto your neck, your best friend, is a guy. A man like you. How would this even-

All too sudden Dave's teeth are replaced by his tongue, then by his lips. Gently, so very gently- You gasp a low moan and instinctively try to pull him down and against you, cause friction. It's so confusing! Everything is so confusing and you just don't know anymore!  
Maybe- maybe you should just- His mouth closes over that special spot and he sucks. Your eyes scrunch shut and your hands are on his ass before you know it, you pull him towards you, pull your hips up to him, clumsily thrust against him.

And he stops. Just- flat out stops. Slowly you let yourself sink back down, wearily blink when his head doesn't follow you and stare into his shades. 

The shock in his expression washes over you like a sudden cold shower. Both of you are out of breath and he looks disheveled. Your face feels so hot it must be at least as red as Dave's, his protruding ears are practically glowing. He suddenly seems to have the 'whatthefuckamIdoinghere' moment you had a minute prior and it makes your stomach sink.

Stunned you realize that the reason he stopped was that you reciprocated. Your mouth feels incredibly dry, his lips are slightly swollen and shining with spittle. Something that makes you acutely aware of the wetness on your neck that's quickly cooling down.

"I-" he starts but his voice cracks and he has to stop harrumph and suck down a few more breaths before he tries again, "I didn't mean to... That wasn't sup-" breath ,"posed..." breath ,"to..." he swallows hard. "Did you just-?"

You wince and try to save yourself with a frown and reminding him of more pressing matters. "Your hand."

"Right." his fingers relax in your hair but he quickly takes a firmer grip on it and you glare at him. "Sorry, I can't..." He tries to calm his breathing with a slow intake of air. "You can't leave."

"Dave, seriously don't you think we damaged our friendship eno-"

"Don't say it. I'll just... ignore your slip up if you forget mine."

Do you realize what just happened??" you spit, but he just stares at you. "Dave let go. I really, really don't want to be here. This whole domination thing isn't for me, and that's not you either, so-"

"I didn't-"

"That's totally what you-" His head presses back into your neck and he begins to sniff you again. "STOP IT! It's not working Dave, give up!"

"Be a little patient!" he growls and now he really smells like cider vinegar, it burns in your throat.

You're lost for words, fail to reply and he seems to take that as an okay, or just doesn't care, you don't know, but his mouth is back on your skin, pressed against that special aching spot he bit so hard a moment earlier, and you just flip your shit. It starts to feel weird again and you are determined to not let yourself be sucked into it a second time! Whatever the hell it is! If you give in again you'd definitely come to regret it, and so would Dave!

"ENOUGH!" you fist both hands into his hair and pull him up, not letting yourself be swayed by the pathetic startled cry of pain lets out. You bet he thought you'd go easy on him because you're friends! You kick your legs up and unsuccessfully try to knee him in the dick while he tries to remove one of your hands from his hair, he needs his other hand to keep himself from falling face first into you.

 _Go easy on him_ , yeah right, you're not stupid! You're best friends, and that's exactly why you'll do anything but! You have to hit him hard now! He rips one of your fists away from his head, hisses when you rid him of some of his hair in the process. You don't let him feel relieved about that though and immediately use your free hand to punch him a few times, but he manages to get a hold of your wrist and forces your arm back down until it's on the pillow next to your head. 

You are so ashamed you didn't take his worries seriously when he told you second puberty would definitely ruin your friendship. You even made fun of him! Made a silly promise that nothing would change. And you have to keep it. Want to keep it! And that's exactly what you're doing now. Keep your promise and stop Dave from making this worse! Even if it's hard.

The hand left in his hair can't keep his head up and you quickly switch to press it under his chin as he tries to lean back down and he pulls your hair in retaliation. "Cut it out!" he barks and you feel the spit flying. You're both going full force here and if this doesn't end soon you'll seriously hurt each other. Tears sting in your eyes and you do your best to push all thoughts related to the events that lead up to this to the back of your head.

"You first!" you shout back, struggle harder against his attempt to pin you completely down.

The arm that he tries to keep your wrist pinned down with trembles just as much as both of your own, the one pinned, and the one under his chin. You try to kick your legs more but he's squatting so low over you that you can't get enough momentum to move him and just end up ineffectively kneeing him in the butt. Shit! Shit, he is in a much better position! The sledgehammer in your chest once known as your heart makes it really hard to breathe. You can't shake him off! You can't you HAVE TO-! Panic overpowers you. Think John! Something! He needs to let go- distracted! You need to somehow boggle him, shock him-!

Oh...

You act before you can get shy and back out. Squeezing your eyes shut tight you use your heels to push your lower half up and get rid of the last bit of safety distance Dave left, then thrust your hips against his and start to cause friction. You can hear him gasp and feel instantly how he goes into defensive mode, tries to evade the unwanted pelvis action and you seize your chance. 

His attention is focused on his pants and with one strong sideways tug you pull your wrist out of grasp, alarmed he tries to get you back under control and that's when your fist connects with his cheekbone. You can see on his face how much that must have hurt despite shades, and the noise he let's out is one of pure appall.

You feel a pang of guilt in your gut but postpone the sentiment. No time, Dave won't be startled for long! You shove a knee into the space you forced him to make between you and push up. He tries to remain balanced at first but the hand you had under his chin grabs him by the shoulder and you push him off of you and onto his side. Your chest hurts.

Still holding him at a distance by his shoulder you use your other hand to push yourself up into a sitting position, hiss when he pulls your head towards him with the hand still in your hair. You should get a haircut soon, this is fucking ridiculous! His free hand gets a hold of your Rudolph sweater and the force he brings up to pull you back down makes you break into cold sweat. Impossible! You almost have it! Almost! NO! NO, HE CAN'T JUST-!

Hot desperation that might just be a new surge of adrenaline rushes through you.

Strengthening your resolve with what you think is an awesome growl you get up on your knees and throw your head back, yelp when you feel your hair get torn out. No time to dwell on the pain though and go from kneeling in front of Dave to squatting on your feet and push yourself up. He doesn't let go of your sweater though and you have the presence of mind to press a foot against his chest, just like he did when you first tried to stand up, and push him back down. The sweater overstretches but it only takes seconds for his fingers to loose their grip and you stumble backward.

For a moment he looks dumb struck with horror before he realizes that you won this and that you will leave. "Wait."

You're a bit dizzy from jumping up so suddenly but quickly make your way towards the door anyway, shaking hands fumbling with the handle as you hear him get up behind you.

Nononono run! "John!!" you throw the door open and vaguely register it slamming into the wall as you sprint out of the room towards the stairs, you can hear your blood rushing in your ears, pulse thrumming. For a second you consider jumping over the handrail and into the tree. You still have a hard time wrapping your head around what just happened. As you rush down the stairs your footsteps sound incredibly loud to you.

It's not right! How can this even be real?! There is no way Dave would let it change him like that-! You jump down the last three steps of the staircase, just barely catch yourself before you fall, and the first thing you do with your newly regained balance is swirl around and realize that Dave didn't follow you.

Dave didn't follow you, and you're not sure whether that's reason to be relieved or disappointed. You would have kind of liked it if he had followed you, already coming to his senses and apologizing profusely without actually saying 'sorry'. Yet it's probably more realistic to assume that if he had followed you, then only to continue wherever he left off. Whatever haze he is in, he's not going to just snap out of it so easily. It's a biological thing and has to do with stuff like blood chemistry. That has to get used up and the responsible glands have to stop producing the hormone in question in such over-quantity. And as long as there is stimulation that just isn't going to happen.

You breathe a sigh and at the same time feel a small sting in your chest. That was a shocker.

For a long moment, you just stand there, panting and desperately trying to understand what exactly just happened, and why. At first, you really do think it's Dave's fault, before slowly but surely the certainty sets in that Dave is the last person you should blame here. Now that you are thinking clearly enough to stop being emotional about it and approach it with logic you can see that if anything he is as much a victim as you are.

You're both victims of his second puberty. As stupid as that may sound, but there is really no way he can control that already. He'll have to learn from experience. For all you know and have seen on others, and the bits you remember from sex-ed, it starts out really horrible and over the two and a half years it lasts it will get progressively better. Glands learn when what amount of which hormone is required in what situation, and the brain learns to stay focused during those times. Yeah. Biology. It's nothing but biology.

Another much deeper sigh escapes you. You don't know what you expected when you heard people calling second puberty frightening, terrible, horrifying, distressing, exhausting... In your head, you thought it would be as horrible as a shitload of homework you get over summer break. You didn't expect _this_ though! At all! And you bet your last slime ghost shirt that Dave didn't either!

ou just have to remember the face he made when he realized that what he did actually... that he... accidentally turned you kind of on. God, just thinking about it makes a warm feeling pool in your gut! Alarmed you try to overpower the sensation with something appalling. Think appalling thoughts, quick! What's the first thing that comes to mind??

JADES BOUNCY BOOBS!

ou shudder and almost gag as the image pops back up into your head. Not that your cousin had nauseously terrible boobs, but- Oh shit, no, don't go there, John! Remember, these are family boobs!

Realizing that the thing you tried to distract yourself with is scarier than the fact that an ill-humored Dave managed to make you horny without even trying you'd rather go back to shameful thoughts about what happened between you two, and how really most of that is very much your own fault.

Now that Jade is back up in your head, too, you really regret even trying to think about this thing. You can just see her smiling "Told you so!" as she inspects your unfortunately stimulating experience.

You really wish you could tell imaginary Jade that it was just your body reacting to stimulation from an outside source. The fact that it was hot didn't have anything to do with Dave! You just- you just have a more sensitive neck than you thought? You mean, it always kind of tickled when D- uh... what you mean is that this is the first time something like this happened to you. You had no way of knowing that you'd react this extreme to it! Now you know it and can prevent it! It's no big deal! That's how you'll treat this!

You groan in annoyance and muss both hands through your hair before massaging at your temples. You could really use some fresh air. Take a walk to clear your head. Yeah... Yeah, that's actually a good idea. You turn around to get your jacket when you notice that- ahh, yes. There was something.

You should tell your Grandpa where you're going. Gotta respect the chain of command in this short-term pack, though you're sure this should count as an emergency situation

Maybe if you just leave quietly and later explain what happened you can plead temporary insanity, haha. Yeah right. If anyone notices you went missing and they deduct that the last person that saw you is Dave and make him explain what happened... You would not just get Dave into massive trouble, but on top of that, you'd drive everyone crazy with worry. "Oh no! The boy was assaulted and vanished into the night! He must be traumatized! We have to find him! Quick, bring me the hound dog! Good boy, Beq, this is one of John's socks, now go find John!"

... Okay, maybe not exactly like that.

It all comes down to doing the right thing you guess. You just kind of want to do the right thing. And making your family think you're lost and crying manly tears into the snow until icicles the size of walrus tusks hang from your chin is probably worse than facing them while stinking like cider vinegar. You're pretty sure the smell is stuck on you.

You make an annoyed little grunt and rub your ne- "OW-" you flinch and stare at your hand in confusion, "What the-?!" ... oh. Right. Riiiiight. That kind of happens when someone fucking bites you! Now that you think about it the whole side of your neck he worked on feels pretty hot. As in temperaturely hot.

...

Ah, fuck. For a few more seconds you just stand there and loath everything before you turn around and walk towards the big hallway mirror next to the front door. And yeah. You were right. You're not even in close to the mirror but it's already hard to miss. A broad, swollen red path leads from your ear almost down almost to your collarbone. And the longer you look at it the more details do you see. There is one big fat dark spot at the bottom, and like a ladder, all the way down there are light teeth marks. This can't be real! You're having a super weird nightmare is all. That would explain a lot of illogical occurrences. Especially that _one_.

You carefully touch one of the lighter bite marks but aside from being a little sensitive, it doesn't feel much different. You drag your fingers over the ladder down to the bruise and hesitate as the feeling grows uncomfortable when your fingers get too close, yet when it comes down to it you can't resist and have to touch it. You hiss with the sensation, it hurts, but much less than you thought it would. The dental impressions Dave left you with are the deepest here, and taking an even closer look you have to admit that he was right to brag earlier. Not only that his teeth are pretty white (you already knew that one), but now you also have the proof that they are amazingly straight. 

Carefully you press down on that stupid... love bite- ARGH! BRUISE! It's a bruise! Full of this feeling of frustration you press down on the bruise harder than you meant and flinch when it starts to really ache, it doesn't stop when you let go, though, and you think you can feel your blood pulsing in the bruise. Did that really feel good when Dave actually bit down? You can't really imagine it, remember that fleeting sensation, and the memory isn't all that convincing anymore either.

You let out a defeated sigh and frown at your reflection when you hear a door and look up to see the older double of your attacker stand in the kitchen door. Staring. You quickly roll the turtleneck of the Christmas-sweater as high up as possible. That should take care of one problem at least.

"Hey, David."

"John."

"Uh... what is it?"

He shrugs. "Thought I heard someone."

"Well, yeah. Me. Now you know it. So why are you still standing there?"

"Isn't the actual question what you were doing alone in the foyer for the past 10 minutes?"

"I... uhm... 10 minutes? Really?"

He shrugs and commands you over with a wave of his hand, and still kind of unwilling you follow him, suppress a deep sigh. It's not like stalling would help you with this, and who knows, maybe you're worried over nothing and nobody even notices or asks. You're dragging your feet anyway.

Eventually, you close the kitchen door behind you and try to convince yourself that even right now, no, especially now, positive thinking is most important! Yeah! After all, John Egbert is not the type to mope around, haha. So true. You turn back around to take a look at who is currently in the kitchen and are thankful to see only 3 people.

The calmness turns into mild alarm when you realize that David, Mrs. Lalonde's sister Rosa, and Dirk are all staring at you as if you had spontaneously grown a trunk. Which by the way would make a great theme for a movie plot as well, you should remember that. You can't help but internally curse your luck when you see Dirk. Out of all the people that could have- Why?? You bite down on your lip to stop an annoyed groan from escaping before you clear your throat.

"What?" you smile and try to act normal. "You look like someone just died, you know that?"

There is a short moment of silence and when David opens his mouth you interrupt him before he can even start.

Wait, did someone actually die??" you just hope you sound as alarmed as you feel, though your feelings stem more from the fear of David's presumably sharp senses and less from real worry someone could have died while you were upstairs.

Again there is a short silence in the middle of which Dirk suddenly turns away, makes a few big steps, and leaves the kitchen. You get barely 2 seconds to feel relieved before you panic over what he might tell the merry party in the living room. David's voice brings your attention back to those left in the kitchen, though.

"... fudge, are you okay??"

Shiiit. "Uh, I- w-what?? Haha, I don't kn-"

"John." Rosa interrupts and taps a finger against her nose as she puts her cup down. Well, you guessed that much. The smell must be really prominent, huh?

"It's not- I just- Uh..." You what? You don't really want to make Dave the bad guy or be seen as a victim. You're not. "I kind of punched Dave." You lower your gaze. "In the face." your voice becomes a little smaller. "Twice."

"Seriously?" David snorts into his fist, and despite the amusement in his voice, he keeps his expression perfectly flat.

Rosa can't keep an amused smirk off her black painted lips though and offers you a respectful nod before her eyes wander over to her friend. "So, second puberty broke even _that alliance_ , huh? Who would have guessed. Truth be told, I had my bets on January."

"Same." David muses and slightly leans his head to the side as he inspects you, still keeping his distance. You can see his nostrils flare ever so slightly as he is reading the horrible cider vinegar stench. Whatever that tells him. Do you even want to know? Know how much and what kind of information really can be stored in someone's scent? ... Yes, you do.

"What?" okay, that might have sounded a little nervous and irritated.

David shrugs and takes a slow step towards you. You almost take a step back before Rosa's voice distracts you. "It's nothing, don't mind him, John. More importantly, do we need to go up and have a look at Dave? Is he alright? Are _you_ alright?"

"..." You're not sure how to answer that. You don't want to show off the bite mark, much rather you want to express the angry feeling you get from hearing that she doesn't put it past you guys to actually really injure each other. Yet in the end, that's exactly what happened. You really tried to knock him out and he bit you pretty damn hard. The hic- bruise on your neck is still aching, pulsating hot on and itching under your skin. "I'm fine." you sigh, shrug, and rub a hand over your neck.

"David?" she inquires and you furrow your brows. Does your word count anything? Like, okay, you kind of lied a tiny little bit there, but-

"Doesn't smell like he went through with it, but I should probably tell James anyway." he takes a deep breath and slowly hisses it out past clenched teeth. "Not looking forward to that conversation."

"I know what you mean." she picks her cup back up and takes a big swig from it. "We should spray him down before we sent him in there anyway. If not for his Dad, than for Mr. Harley and Rose." You have no idea what's going on and bewildered as you are you look for words yet your mouth just doesn't seem capable of letting any noise pass.

"Rose especially." David puffs, and despite making the impression that he still eyes you up he seems oblivious to the fact that you try to get some words in between. "She'll tear Dave a new one, don't really need that right now."

"I don't really understand what she had to do that for. On the other hand, she was always like that so it fits rather nicely into her pattern."

"Do you think she actually meant to provoke him?" he turns his head towards her for a short moment and she wriggles her eyebrows at him.

"Who knows? I can't imagine she'd take the risk, though. She had to know that if she got _him_ singled out she wouldn't be his only target, John and Jade would have to suffer his heightened testosterone level just the same." her deep red nails tap against the mug to the rhythm of the sound of Christmas carols playing as background music in the living room. "Don't get me wrong, she got him good there, in a way it was a clever move that you just have to honestly respect on some level, getting him all worked up on his own over something everyone else would call a minor issue. It's a given that after being trapped in a small space with 3 high ranked alphas he'd look for an outlet or someone to calm his nerves. That she chose that moment to accept John's submission is obviously suspicious, but would she really stoop that low in her mind games just to gain an edge rank wise?"

"She's a pubescent alpha. Of course she would. Ahhh, funk, I can't believe these brats." he leans backward against the counter, looking back and forth between you and Rosa a few times. "I get it, it's tough, especially the first few months, but this? I mean you smell _that_ , right?"

He points a finger at you and despite knowing he is talking about Dave's Strider stench (there is no denying it, it smells nasty), you can't help but feel spoken too. "Hey!"

"Don't mind him, John." her hand movement reminds you of one used when trying to calm small animal, but she jumps quickly back into her conversation with David. "What else could he do, though? Rose took him first, and he was probably still rather agitated. Hanging around his friend while Rose's pheromones cling to said friend, clouding the air, practically taunting him. Frankly, I'd be pissed as well if someone just snatched you away under my nose and I had to suffer that despicable person's odor stuck on you."

"I'm honored. I didn't know betas felt like that, too." he's quiet for all of two seconds before he attaches a quick. "I'm already spoken for, though."

Rosa smirks condescendingly over the rim of her cup and her eyes narrow with what you'd call dangerous glee. "Is that so?" She seems to tell him something with her eyes but there is just no reaction from David. Yet, you think you can smell something. "Are you sure you didn't dream that up?"

"Probably." he sighs and you barely notice the slight turn of his head towards the loud noises in the living room that he can make out over the counter. You're kind of glad that he isn't fixated on you anymore but being ignored like that... Rosa simply nods knowingly and David shrugs. "What tipped you off?"

"There is just nothing mysterious about you. Your mind is a garden."

"An ordinary garden, with a low fence."

"... You lost me."

"On the contrary, I found you."

Now he looks slightly unsettled. "Uh..."

"So eloquent today, Mr. Strider."

"Can you not do that in front of the kid, woman?" he clicks his tongue and is rewarded with a soft giggle from her.

"If you don't like it then you shouldn't refill your cup quite so frequently. Alcoholic beverages can have devastating effects when you drown yourself in them."

"... You're enjoying this, don't you?"

"My, is it that obvious?" She lays on the sarcasm rather thick. The silence between the two of them quickly grows comfortable while you are still standing there, at a loss for words. You feel you just listened in on something that is none of your business yet all about your business and found yourself completely ignored halfway through what you thought was a conversation with you.

"Uh, so... Can I leave?" you really don't mean to complain, on the contrary. The sooner you can join the group the sooner you get to forget about the angry red mark on your neck.

"Sure." Rosa waves you off and you don't even get to make one step before she continues with a buoyant, "That is if you want everyone to smell that Dave assaulted you."

"Yeah, but-!" Your eyes grow wide behind your glasses and you almost trip over your own feet before giving her a slightly shocked look, while she continues to take small sips of her beverage and inspects her nails. She can smell that?? You watch as her eyebrows raise a little and she sets her cup back down.

"He did? I wasn't sure but that reaction is confirmation enough for me." She seems surprised and your puzzlement only grows.

 _"Buh! But you just said-??" What? Just a few moments ago they discussed- ... uh, what??? You are about baffled enough to choke on air when David takes pity on you._

"We were pretty much poking in the dark. Sorry. To your credit, though, you gave yourself away pretty late, I thought you'd jump in earlier."

"To be honest I got most of the answers from his expressions alone, I just wanted verbal confirmation."

"Really? I thought you looked pretty surprised."

"Oh hush, you! It's one thing to make assumptions based on someone's reactions, and a whole other to have them confirmed. Anyway, John, you may want to spray yourself down with some Spirare X, there is some under the sink in every bathroom I think."

"Really? How convenient." David jumps back in, a sly eyebrow creeping over the rim of his shades to which Rosa rolls her eyes and begins to play with her long blonde braid.

It's for practical reasons only. We don't all have to flaunt our every emotion and connection to the world to feel their worth."

"Don't tell me there are confidence issues in the Lalonde household." he sounds fairly happy with that discovery.

"David this is a holiday mansion. We are here on holidays. With all of you guys. The air here can get pretty thick at times. May I remind you of the easter disaster two years ago?" Oh! Oh, you know what that refers to! That was when David and Nanna-

"Why must you bring that up again? Is there any way I can just alpha the situation and make you at least act as if you'd respect me in front of the runts?"

"Runt?" you can't quite comprehend that. Okay, you're the youngest one here but you are like 4 months away from being an adult and anything but small!

David shrugs your open complaint off with a confident little smirk. "I'm making fun of you, don't listen to me, man."

"That's the best advice you gave him all year." she chimes and David just deadpans her and takes a slow thoughtful gulp from his cup, waiting for her to get the hint and continue.  
"Where was I? Ah, yes, John. I think you really want to get rid of that odor first." You raise a single brow and open your mouth to ask her but she is faster.  
"What I'm trying to say is that it's literally a deceleration of war. Rose left a challenge on you, and Dave accepted. It might be that they aren't even aware of the messages they are sending quite yet, it can be tricky to get the hang of it and it's not a language you can learn with a book and an audio cassette." David coughs into his cup at the word audio cassette. He accidentally spits some of the content over the rim and has to stop it from running down his chin with one hand. Rosa gracefully ignores him.  
"-Never the less, they instinctively react appropriately. You can be sure that if she gets a nose full of that lovely apple cider vinegar Dave will have hell to pay when they settle the issue of their ranks with each other."

David throws the kitchen-paper that he used to dry his hands, chin, and cup into the sink, "I'm more worried about what Dave will do when he gets his hands on her. He'll want some sweet revenge for the shit she pulled earlier. Claiming John away right under his nose and forcing the issue in the first place. She is leaving him no choice but to accept her challenge, otherwise, he won't be able to spend time with his own pack. She pretty much forced the issue by shutting him out of their pack. He has every reason to go all out now, talk about motivation here."

"Dave isn't one for retaliation. Not to that extent at least. Yes, I believe she is driving him mad, but he lacks the fierce cruelty of an actual leader. I'm pretty sure she's forcing his hand because she knows that he avoids serious conflicts for as long as he can. Now that I think about I think she wants to get it over with rather than wait for him to make up his mind and quit stalling. I mean it's Christmas already and they still haven't settled the issue of their ranks. But even now that he is given no other option but to take her up on that challenge I think he'd run rather than get active when. He's a good kid after all."

"Buuuh, boring. He's a Strider, I say he'll fight for what he wants."

I can't see him wanting to be John's and Jade's boss, or taking on any of the responsibilities of a pack leader. He's so tender." You see her eyes wander over to you for a moment before focusing back on her friend. "At heart that is. And he doesn't have the stomach to swallow a feisty one like Rose."

"True, but _he_ doesn't know that. I was just like that when my second puberty started, Dirk too. Bro- well, Bro was always a little weird. My point is that he is developing pretty normal. He isn't thinking much about what is good for him or what is like him, and instead just focuses on what he wants, he is hormonal. I say Dave will take her on fast and in earnest."  
She laughs way to sweetly considering the topic. "Would you bet on it?"

"How much."

"Hmmm, let's see..."

Your jaw drops slightly open./p>

"If I win you will swallow your own honesty without protest."

"... When."

When I decide it would result in an interesting situation."

David's forehead actually creases with distaste. "I can see where this is going. You're helping Roxelle out now? I thought you were keen on observing the situation as a neutral party."

"Oh, please. She's my older sister and I adore her but that doesn't mean I agree with her on everything. Despite, even if I decided to help her, she still wouldn't stand a chance. Not because you're so formidable an opponent or because she is a beta, but because the prize is such an impossible one to gain. I don't see why you even feel the need to fight over something like that. You're both destined to lose."

"Well, thanks for the vote of confidence."

"You're welcome."

"So what do I get when I win?"

" _If_ you win, you will get to make me honest. Same conditions. No exceptions." His eyebrows jump and his back straightens. "I knew that would get your attention."

"Deal. I have nothing to lose, I have trust in Dave. He might be the weakest link of his litter but he's still a Strider. You're going down, Lalonde." there is a somewhat childlike excitement in his voice and he puts his cup down to hold his fist out for her.

She just smiles with a royal confidence before bumping his fist with hers. "Looking forward to it."

"UHM." you try to finally get a word in now that the conversation seems to allow for your interruption.

"Ah, sorry John, I didn't mean to Strilonde you. Weren't you supposed to spray your clothes off?"

You know it's completely out of context but you've known these two forever and you're just noticing now. For a second there you even forget about the ache in your neck.

"Are you two, uh... dating?" or rather, do you uh, do it? That would be really weird! They aren't blood-related but still in the same family tree, that's so wro-

Rosa's face goes from puzzled to twisting up horribly before she hunches over. For a second you're worried you said something wrong or she may be having a seizure, but then you hear the wheezing. She's laughing. She tries to hide it, to keep it in. But she's barely able to contain it. You can see David next to her rolling his eyes, the little head move there, as she starts to make little squeaking noises with every forced intake of breath.

She sways and he grabs her arm to keep her stable. "I think it's pretty obvious that she's having my ironic babies, John, like, right now. Can't you see this woman is in labor? You better go get us some help, Lassie, shit just got serious." He extends an open palm in her direction, guiding your attention back to her.

"Oh god, kch- hee, my sides." she pants and swallows a giggle stuck in her throat. You can see her wiping at her eyes and you don't know what's so funny about that! The way they talk to each other is just really weird, anyone would think something's fishy.

"Lassie." You look back at the blond man as he points towards the hallway. "Good boy, now find Timmy and some spy-Rex while I take care of the mess you made and tell your dad the good news. Woe betide me."

"Some what?"

"Spy-Rex, John. Spirare-X is a little too fancy a word for such a cheap odor-blocker. Can't really take a 4$ spray seriously that breaks out the Latin names for what is basically every cheater's little helper. Really, it's that good. You'll slink out of a rich old ladies red velvet prison of lust and all she needs is to break out a bottle of spy-Rex and her wife will never be the wiser. You borrowed daddy's car and got freaky on the back seat? Pray you thought of having some spy-Rex ready in your glovebox otherwise that might have been the last time you've tasted freedom for a while, my friend. Came across your second social pack on your way to meet your main guys and gotten a little too friendly with them? You better have a pocket-sized can of Spy-Rex on you or your alpha won't get off your case for the rest of the evening."

"Ahhh, ha ha, you.. sound like a sleazy salesman, aha." Rosa sniffles as she slowly regains posture.

"Well well well. Look who's back, it's Miss Rude Mc Sassypants." he sighs and you can see they're going at it again so you turn around to get to the first-floor bathroom.

"Awww, someone's grumpy. Mr. Grumpy Celebrity. Don't be mad at me, you know my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I can't just reserve it all for you, what would I be serving all those thirsty boys then that came all the way into my yard for my milkshake? You have to learn to share, David. Big alpha boys share their things. You're a big boy now, aren't you?"

"Baseless assumptions. I am 5 years old and I demand you give all the milkshakes to me and me only. Fulfill my needs woman, for I am young and not capable of sustaining my great, highly regarded self."

"Weird. Every time you call me 'woman' I feel the strong urge to slap you in the back of your head. I read that holding back is very unhealthy, I wonder if I should just give in to that desire."

"Wow, I feel incredibly loved."

"As you should."

"Yeah. Now, if James rips my head off make sure I still get an open coffin, and I want them to place the old thinking pan under my arm, all casual like, I am so over this whole decapitation thing. Real classy. Also, no taking 'dem shades off. Not once. You gotta promise to have an eye on that."

She giggles again. "Will do."

You shake your head over their silliness as you close the kitchen door behind you. This actually went a lot better than you thought it would. Rosa is a pretty smart woman and if she didn't really react then maybe you are overthinking and you don't smell as troubled, uh, troubling as you thought you would. David- ... David. The thought of David not being particularly cool, or rather not at all, regularly crosses your mind. It's pretty sad if you think about how he has all of America fooled with the picture the media paints of him.  
Rosa on the other hand really is kind of cool, yet David tends to drag her down on his level as soon as he sends even just one word her way. And he is not even her alpha, how can he influence her like that? As far as you know they both have their own social packs. Maybe it's because they are (barely) members of each others family pack?

Doesn't really matter though since you don't have that much to do with them. Now that you are out of earshot your thoughts return to what is really important.

For example how you'll continue to cover the rash-like bruises on your neck for the rest of the evening. If you sit very still and don't participate in too many activities then maybe the collar of your sweater will stay in place. That would be a very boring Christmas Eve, though, and it would probably be super suspicious in its own way. Rose's seventh sense is triggered by the slightest abnormalities. You just know she'd notice.

Luckily you're kind of a master of disguise, so you should be on the safe side anyway. You know that it's not just about the visuals themselves, no, it's also about how you _sell_ the visuals.

... Which is actually a quote from David. DAMMIT MR. STRIDER! _Damn him and his film-making mind that every now and then actually comes up with great stuff, only to waste it in shitty interviews and super dumb movies!_

You growl inwardly as you reach out to open the bathroom door only for it to slam right into your face. You jump way too late and slap your hands over hurting nose.

"John?? Jesus, are you alright, son?" you slowly nod and you rub your forehead, wondering what it is with you and doors today. It takes you about 3 seconds to realize that you still smell like vinegar. You look up from your hands only to see your dad's face slightly scrunched up in confusion. Shiiit. Speed it up, John.

"This is kinda urgent, so-" you push past him into the bathroom but he grabs your arm before you can close the door.

"Wait a minute, is that...?" He attempts to lean in on your shoulder and you duck away, try to pry his hand off.

"Dad, I'm serious, I'll piss my pants if you don't let go, so...? Please??" you might really, though for entirely different reasons than you are trying to make him believe.

"Were you with Dave?" he asks questions he already knows the answer to but throws you a disbelieving look and you quickly shift to plan B.

You groan and make a show out of reacting really annoyed with his intrusive mother-henning. Channel your inner teenager and relive that rebellious phase.  
"Fine! I punched Dave, he got mad, it's no big deal. I'll properly apologize to him later. Now can I go and empty my bladder?" You press for the bathroom situation to escape the impending doom forming on his face. Also if you dropped the act now it would look even more suspicious.

His eyebrows lower and draw together, "John, that's not how smell-reading works."

"I don't care! I really need to p-"

" _Did he dominate you?_ " he interrupts you with that stern fatherly tone of voice that leaves no room for disobedience. It's been a while since he felt he had to play the daddy card this hard. Despite the lack of alpha pheromones it always forces honest answers out of you. The guilt you feel for trying to hide shit from him has the same effect. You only have each other. That's all of your birth-pack you two have left.

He got disowned by Nanna. He was pretty much demoted from birth-pack to into blood-pack status by his own mother for marrying the 'wrong' Egbert. Your Dad defiant free spirit he thinks he is abandoned the Crocker name to show her how little he cared at the time, and now he is a widower. Last time you met the Egbert family was when you were 7 and all you remember is that your Dad got loud and threw them out, bid them good riddance as the car pulled out of the driveway and he threw the door shut. He really has nobody else left.  
Nanna still loves him and all, but she is a damn stubborn woman, and you heard that's a trait your dad inherited from her, and you from him, which led to... well, this situation.

It's so unfair how your Dad can communicate this just with the tone of his voice and the expectant look in his gray eyes. This whole 'I gave up everything for you two, and now you're all that's left. Don't betray this bond.' thing. Family and trust are the most important things in the world, every movie, every book, every social study points to the importance of a good atmosphere in your blood-pack and the unbreakable trust between members of a birth-pack (which his own mother betrayed). Not telling him would be like saying to his face that you don't trust him. FUCK, that's so hard! Dad or Dave? Dave would be in deep shit if you-

"John. Talk to me." the hand on your arm squeezes you uncomfortably and the fatherly concern displayed with his every fiber intensifies drastically.

You sigh deeply. Dad or Dave, as if you really needed to think hard about that. The answer is obvious.

"... It was totally my own fault."

He frowns hard, then takes a slow deep breath. "Oh my god." it's barely audible and there is an 'I can't believe you brats' undertone swinging with his words that makes you feel as if you're 10 all over. Also, you already start to feel like an incredible ass for ratting Dave out on something that kinda technically was your own doing.

"It's not like that! Dave kept telling me to leave him alone but I kept on poking him, and- shit happened! I meant to submit but it kinda didn't work I don't know and- I totally underestimated him, but I fought him off fine before anything serious happened. And don't look at me like that! It was a very fruitless attempt on his part and I'm not even mad at him." Not very much

"You tried to subm-! John! You submitted to Rose before she and Dave could settle the issue of rank, they are not-! You're not all in the same pack before he and Rose fight it out! You physically CAN'T submit to a rivaling alpha, that's-" He realizes too late he's actually yelling at you and zips up rather abruptly. A short moment of silence follows, he obviously needs to process this first and put his thoughts into words in an appropriate fatherly way. After 5 seconds you can see a vein pulse ever so slightly on his temple that you haven't seen since the day you tried to flush every Betty Crocker product in the house, which by the way was a shitload, down the toilet and clogged it. It appears you are in deep shit.

"John, I think you still don't understand how smell works, so let me explain. Dave unmistakeably crossed a line. He might as well have written 'This wimp is property of Dave Strider, I do what I want, try and stop me' all over you with a Sharpie. I wouldn't call that fruitless!" he leans over again and takes another whiff, yet doesn't say anything about what that told him. He looks just as mad with you as he sounds, and it's kinda infecting.

"I told you, it's fine! It's my fault anyw-"

"You are a _child_!" he slightly shakes you by your arm, reminding you of the still unconquered slight gap in height and muscle mass between father and son. The anger slowly boiling up in him is hard to miss. " _Hormones_ are not a sufficient excuse! He should know where the limits are! There are lines that he should not cross under any circumstances! This is not 1920 and completely unacceptable! It's just-"

"He doesn't have it under control, okay?! Isn't that normal??" you're yelling now, dead set on putting this right, and slowly getting agitated by his accusation.

"He is an alpha, John, it's his responsibility to interrupt and defuse these kind of situations before he snaps! Second puberty may be a _legal_ excuse but not an _acceptable_ one! Do you understand? There are ways for him to avoid situations that excite him to this level!" Holy shit you are not having this conversation! You don't want to remember it but if anyone got excited then it was-

" _But-!_ "

"Stop defending him!" He shakes you by your arm again and this time you forcefully try to pull it out of his grip.

Big mistake. Your arm moves, your sweater does not. The garment is still overstretched from the way Dave had clung to it to pull you back down and easily slips towards your shoulder, exposing the big, red, angry bruise on your neck at least partly. You can see it in your Dad's eyes. There is no way he didn't spot it.

He swallows a big gulp of air before licking his dry lips. Eyes frantically flitting back and forth between your face, your bruise, the floor, his mind must be racing right now, unable to comprehend just what he's seeing, or maybe unwilling. Using his momentary state of shock you finally free yourself, quickly rip your arm from his grip and give him a push.

"I'm almost 17 and I handled him just fine! It's no big deal! I just got a tiny, little bruise, and-"

"Son, do you really not realize what he did to you?? My boy, you were dominated by an alpha. And just because Dave is your friend doesn't change the fact that he tried to take your rights-"

"OH, COME ON!" now you're shouting but your Dad simply lets you interrupt him before he calmly continues where he left off. You barely notice the kitchen door opening behind him.

"-Take your rights, and make you. His. Subject. John. I think you've learned about these things at school, I know you have seen examples in modern pop culture - there is no way you don't see what a horrible thing that is for an alpha to do to someone! What were you even doing up there with him? _Alone_ at that! Don't you have any sense of danger??"

Your jaw drops and you gasp, looking for words, any kind of words to defy him. Just- "That's ridiculous! _Danger?_ We are talking about Dave here!"

"We are talking about a pubescent alpha!! I can't believe that my own son of all people would be so stupid to disregard that because we are talking about a 'friend'! Do you have ANY idea what this thing on your neck-"

An arm is shoved between you two, making you aware of just how close you've stepped up to him as the argument grew more heated and you're greeted with a pair of aviator shades. "Wuoh, wuoh! Calm down! Both of you!" You can't help the cold feeling of surprise rushing through your veins when David actually steps between you two and pushes your Dad back by the shoulders.  
"James, it's not as bad as- youch. That actually looks nasty." He is clearly looking at your neck and it takes him about 3 seconds to return his attention to your dad. "What I'm trying to say is that you're yelling at the wrong person the boys aren't at fault."

"... Explain." That is an icy tone of voice there. He's not just angry anymore, something is changing.

"I messed up, I thought I'd lighten Dave's mood by sending John up to wait for-"

"Oh ,David." your dad lifts a hand to rub at his temples, already getting irritated with the younger blond and at the same time expressing a form of soft disappointment you're not familiar with. "Why on earth would you think-"

"John has always been a good influence on him, and he hasn't presented yet. I was very sure he'd be completely safe from any of his hormone driven..." he gesticulates wildly and bites his lip while your dad's frown grows. "... Urges. "

"What is wrong with you, David?! Of course that wouldn't work out as smoothly! They are about the same age and close enough to- And you knew that Rose claimed him for their pack before they fought it out! What were you thinking?!"

"Like I said I thought it would be nice for Dave to not spend Christmas Eve in complete isolation while feeling like a dick for something that isn't his fault, giving him a chance to make up fast and have some peace of mind felt like the logical conclusion to a whole bunch of problems." David is clearly on the defense here. He is fully aware that as the rank highest alpha around he would have to take responsibility for everything that happens here, even if he wouldn't have had anything to do with it.

And your Dad takes advantage of that. "So you threw my son at the problems!"

"I didn't throw him at it I merely steered him in a convenient-"

"Don't sugarcoat it! You manipulated him into consoling his friend!"

"If John wouldn't have wanted to he wouldn't have let m-"

"Of course he'd feel bad for Dave! They are inseparable which is exactly why it would have been part of your responsibility as the family head to keep them apart during times like this!"

"I didn't think I'd have to! Like I said, John still hasn't presented which is why he wouldn't let himself be pushed around by Dave yet, and he is more than capable of handling Dave-"

"Look at his neck! Look at it and say that again! Take a deep breath David! Do you smell that? Does that smell like a satisfying defense?? Or did you plan for this??"

"Calm down, James! It will wear off and it has no meaning for a minor like him!"

"Oh, it does! It means that you have no control over your boys and it is an extremely traumatizing experience to make!"

Wait, what? "Hey I'm not-"

"Zip it, son! You were bitten! More than once! Are you trying to tell me you didn't fight that?!"

"Well, no, I did but-"

"Did it hurt??"

"…"

"It's scary, isn't it?? Having your trust betrayed like that?? Realizing you aren't trusted either?? Having to fight a friend?? Being 'put in your place' by an alpha?? Are you trying to tell me you didn't mind it??"

"I-" something tightens in your throat, making it hard to swallow and you lower your head. You didn't actually think that deeply into it. You didn't really want to. To think into the meaning of it all. It hurts to have it thrown in your face like that. Because you can't deny it. It's a violation on more than just a physical level. You can't deny it.

"Why didn't you get out of there in time, son?" for a moment he sounds utterly defeated.

You shrug and shake your head. "I didn't expect something like... to happen."

"Who would have expected that?? James, he couldn't have known better, nobody would have taken Dave for the type. So maybe you should calm down and..." David nods to the side and following the movement you see a bunch of people watching you through the now open living room door and two people spying from the kitchen door behind your dad.

Shit. That's just great. Everyone heard that. Holy... You quickly take a step back and close the door, locking yourself in the bathroom before leaning your back against it. What? Don't judge. You just really don't want to be part of that anymore. Clearly, nobody is interested in listening to you so you can't help anyway. You'll have to deal with the embarrassment of everyone knowing what happened with Dave through all of Christmas. You deserve a moment of quiet.

Only that your retreat doesn't seem to help anything and you can hear the continuation of that argument even through the closed door.

"NO! _You_ should have known better! You're an alpha, David! _THE_ alpha! You have responsibilities! Stop acting like a child, dammit! I know life is simple and fun for you but you have a role to fulfill and you're constantly slacking off at the expensive of those you're responsible of! Everyone knows these things, if you just paid attention you'd- You _should have_ known better!" there is a short pause but no reply and your dad continues his verbal assault. "Just _what went wrong with you_ that you don't understand the simplest of-!" He abruptly cuts himself off. A long pause follows and you grab the can of Spy-Rex from under the sink.  
"David, I... I'm sorry. That was not. Not..." that surprises you. Why is your dad the sorry one now?

"No, you're absolutely right. As an alpha I should have known better." he takes a deep controlled breath. And his voice continues in a steady, cool tone. Emotionless as if nothing happened. "I guess that kind of behavior is all you can expect of me, huh?"

You quickly spray yourself down, try to sniff your clothes to figure out how long it takes for you to return to a neutral scent.

"David. I know, it's not your fault that you are-"

" _Mr. Egbert._ " he interrupts your dad and leaving you wondering what exactly he thinks is not the oldest Strider's fault. David's voice leaves no doubts that he is setting his boundaries here, though, not wanting to make whatever appears to be the problem part of the conversation.

"I honestly don't blame you, okay? But we're talking about my son's safety here, you understand that, right?" your Dad sounds fairly uncomfortable now. ... Damn your curiosity.

You pop the door open just in time to see him reach out to gently touch David's elbow who is slowly taking a step back.

"No, its fine. I get it." he takes a few more steps backward towards the coatroom. "If you'll excuse me I have business outside, having a smoke or something." He yanks a black jacket with leopard print fur lining from one of the racks that looks way to gaudy for his usual style and quickly makes his exit towards the front door, careful not to run and instead walk with big deliberate steps.

"Didn't you quit 8 years ago??" Your Dad calls after him, it's a rather fatherly gesture to remind him of the willpower it took and his success to try and deter him, but you're not sure whether or not David even heard that.

 _"I'LL JUST PICK EFFIN UP WHERE I EFFIN STOPPED!!"_ He barks, making both you and your dad flinch and leaving behind a hint of a smell, cold air and burned dry leaves. You're kind of stunned to see David react that openly emotional, making it more than clear that the conversation is over.  
Bewildered by the cruel rejection your Dad stays standing where he is, staring at the door slamming shut behind the eldest Strider, unsure whether he should ignore the warning and follow David out or not.

To the side from the direction of the living room door someone clears their throat, "I guess that's my cue." Out of the corner of your eye, you see Bro push past Jane, His red and white Christmas sweater shows- is that a reindeer threesome?? Pornstar or not that's really- oh damn Rose doesn't look happy. Shit, you made eye contact quick look back at- "He'll take the cigs outta of my jacket, gotta make sure he doesn't take 'em all." Bro brushes some cookie crumbs off his pants and moves towards your Dad, giving him a rough push as he walks past him to make room, even though he could have easily walked around him.

You think you can see his mouth move when he looks over his shoulder at your dad, but don't hear anything and then Bro is gone, too.

There is what seems like a long moment of silence where all you here is the jingle bells rock playing in the living room. Inappropriately cheerful as it reminds them all of the holiday they came here to celebrate with their family and loved ones while the heaviness of the scene that just played down settles. The whole situation was over so quick yet really intense you are at a loss. You don't want the attention that is directed at your Dad back to you so you keep silent, scan the people standing in the living room door. In the front. you see Rose and Jane, behind, Jake and Mrs. Lalonde. From the kitchen, you see Jade and Roxy spying. When you meet their eyes Jade#s expression is hard to read, and Roxy quickly disappears back into the kitchen.

Finally, your Dad seems to decide on what to do and is about to follow them when-

"Son! Leave them be." you turn your head to see your Grandpa finally decided to join the commotion. "That's enough damage for one evening, don't you think? You were right to scold him but everything else would be rubbing salt in the wound." your dad sighs and lifts his hands to apply mild pressure to his temples, reminded of the heavy silence of the people around you, and how many eyes are on you two. "Whatever we say it won't have a positive effect on them anyway." The old man sighs deeply before clicking his tongue. "Striders."

"I can hear you, you know." Dirk makes himself heard, probably still sitting on the couch, but only a second later you see him join the group, his immense height making him stand out despite the slowly building crowd like a giraffe behind a herd of zebras. You're not sure whether his interruption was meant to break some of the tension, to honestly protest, or he just doesn't care, but about half of the people in the living room cough to cover up a laugh in unison, and it seems infecting since the rest can't suppress a small smirk, you and your dad included. Everyone always forgets about Dirk.

"You're special." Jane laughs and pets his head benevolently, and you get the feeling he wants to pull away before he puffs a sigh and lowers his head to give your small cousin easier access.

"Just what's that supposed to mean?" he turns his head to look at her from his position further back in the living room before moving towards her. He obviously didn't feel like spying, but for some reason joins the gawkers in their conversation.

"It means you're the least Strider-like Strider in the family, which you should be very thankful for." Jake who stands next to his niece butts in and nudges Dirk's shoulder with a fist in what was probably meant to be an affectionate gesture. "You have the Strider looks, but you don't have the Strider brains."

"I know you meant that as a compliment, but I can't really be happy about that. You just called all my brothers stupid, which I feel the need to point out isn't necessarily wrong so I won't protest, but I have a hunch I should feel obligatory offended on their behalf." he actually kind of looks a little torn and you can't help the grin growing on your face.

"Awwww, Dirk not happy! Don't pout sweety, Roxy is here." Roxy croons as she wraps her arms around his middle from behind, pulling him back into the living room towards the couch.

"I'm not pouting."

"Yes you are~." Jane quips and pets his arm with a fondness obviously reserved only for ones alpha as she follows them.

"You really are pouting, Dirk." Jake almost giggles as he falls in line after Jane, watching while Roxy has almost pulled her alpha out of sight. It's funny how easily these four could break the silence and return to business as usual. They are slowly flipping the horrible atmosphere and intentional or not you want to go with the flow and enjoy the evening as the tension ebbs away when your dad grabs your arm and shakes his head, stopping you dead in your tracks.

"Jake not you, too. Seriously, both of you four-eyes need to get your vision checked, or did you simply forget what a pout looks like? Let me remind you, it's not like this." he points towards his face.

"It's a Strider pout." Roxy smiles sweetly and squishes his cheeks between her hands, causing her to fight a cackle bubbling up her throat when faced with his smushed features. "Come 'ere, tehe." she attempts to pull his face down making a kissy face and cracking up even further when Dirk struggles to avoid the inevitable. She even gets cheered on by Jane and Jake from behind.

After planting one on Dirk's forehead he can't help the disgruntled expression and points towards his chest. Only when you see Roxy roll her eyes, and giggle that the forehead and cheeks are "fair game" you realize he pointed to the print on his sweater that spelled HO HO HOMO.

Behind the two blonds, Jake holds his stomach and shakes with suppressed laughter, before leaning into Jane's shoulder to hide his expression when Dirk turns around to presumably Strider-glare at him. And then they are all out of sight. Mrs. Lalonde lingers a little longer in the doorway, she seems to have a quiet conversation with your dad, just with looks, before she sighs, nods, and follows the rest back towards the comfy couches.

Your attention shifts to the noise that is making it's comeback in the living room. Seems like most people picked their own conversations up again after the tallest Strider broke the silence. You really don't want to believe that that was his intention in the first place, but who knows with that guy. You just don't want to paint an even more princely picture of him in your head than is unfortunately already there.

You are harshly reminded of your own situation when our dad tugs on your arm, making you slowly turn towards him. You take a deep breath ready to face the continuation of a stern fatherly speech, yet you're greeted with a warm but troubled expression as he lifts his other hand to pull on the collar of your sweater to get a better look at the mess on your neck.

"Come on, son." he sighs and gives you a small push back into the bathroom. "I'll take care of this." He seems resigned and calm enough so you don't resist or worry as you let yourself be pushed. When you look over your shoulder, you can see how Rosa leaves the kitchen, a few ice packs in hand as she heads upstairs.

Only now does it occur to you that while you were being fussed over down here, Dave was all alone up there. Dealing with his own thoughts and probably hearing all the yelling going on down here in the hallway. And you're glad that at least one person remembered him in all this chaos, and looks out for him, even though it's neither one of his blood relatives, nor his friends.

It makes you kind of sad when you think about it. You caused all his problems since he arrived, and he still gets blamed for them because he's an alpha and alphas are response bearers. For a moment you can't help but think that you understand Dave a little better now and watch dad close the bathroom door behind you two. Knowing what you do now, you wouldn't want to present as an alpha either, and you feel incredibly lucky that you're so likely to become a beta.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was Olfactory Overload two, I hope to close the Christmas special with Olfactory Overload three this year! I just can't lose the bit of confidence I gained again, and need to keep fighting. Again, I am very sorry for the long wait and want to thank everyone who is reading this for their patience and for still being interested despite my failure to deliver on my promises. I truly hope that the Last part of Olfactory overload will be finished till Christmas, that would be perfect, but I am careful to sound too enthusiastic, continuing this after all this time makes me very nervous. 
> 
> As for the Story, we unfortunately only get to know what John knows and see what John sees. If you are interested in knowing more about the situation between David and Dad Egbert, I actually have several pages of what happens early the next morning when they talk alone while John is still asleep. I could post that in another fic and make Expectations a series, but only if you are interested I don't want to push the background stories that don't concern John to heavily onto any of you who simply came for the DaveJohn JohnDave experience. I don't know why but I just thought some of you might be interested in how adults way past their second puberty see things, interact, mingle, handle certain... urges. How hormones and pheromones work for adults whose bodies have adapted and who learned to control themselves and others with more precision. With the Teens it's all so messy, and sloppy, and rough-edged, they have still so much to learn, especially John. Which I thought was good, so the reader can learn together with him and hopefully only gets confused when John himself is confused by new information, but that really makes for a lot of horible and hilarious mistakes on his part, and often leaving the reader to figure out parts where John contradicts himself by rereading the stuff John was told, rather than what he interprets, which is probably rather annoying for you. Sorry that John is such a clueless runt, haha... ha. Anyway, what I meant to say is that I thought the change of perspective might be refreshing, we are reading things from David's point of View in their chapter (which Btw is called Whisky on the Rocks), and David is much smoother in his transitions, in his thoughts in his choice of words and his metaphors, and he know so much better what he wants, is much more realistic and self-aware and other than John he accepts his own flaws and pretty much embraces them. I admit I really love David as a character, because I think out of all of them he probably had it the hardest yet he came out on top, probably the reason why he flipped his lid when Dad Egbert tried to touch that part of his past that he would rather ignore. It's not happening as often as it did when the Striders were first introduced to the Lalondes, Harleys, and Egberts, but the problems stemming from his messed up childhood and lack of support and care still show at times. And while he does own his mistakes, he would rather ignore the reason for these mistakes. He just never learned these things, and he is basically still learning, even now at age 28, because he has his pride. And he knows that it's bad but he doesn't have much else to keep him upright, so he clings to that pride. And Dad Egbert almost knocked it over like a clutz. Don't touch that, James. Just don't do it. Anyway if you want to read their little chapter just tell me. I'll post it even if it's just for one person. 
> 
> On another note, there is my own life. This is probably boring for most of you and probably ends up only being me complaining about my rather insignificant problems so please if you read up till here, feel free to skip this last part, it is of no real importance, and I really just want the illusion of someone listening to my stupid troubles. Don't feel obligated, haha.  
> My personal life has been a big mess lately, I am actually in the middle of a rather mean break down right now, haven't been able to leave my apartment without a caretaker coupled with a good dose of tranquilizers without panicking and crying to the point the world starts spinning in 6 months. I spent my entire summer locked in. I am my own fucking prisoner, so to speak, haha. So I currently live on government support, which is enough to pay rent and bills but doesn't leave much for anything else, like food. And stuff. I even cut my butt long hair to chin length to save shampoo. As you may imagine my mental health influences my physical health, so I've been on a downwards spiral there too. The amount of meds I need steadily increases and I feel sick just looking at them. Haha. It seems my body has more and more trouble orally taking in essential nutrients, most prominently iron and vitamin B12, which got me hospitalized for a few days this January. I do my best to keep my food varied despite living mostly vegan, but that might just not be enough anymore, which scares me.

**Author's Note:**

> SOOOO Tell me what you think! Also I'd be super happy about some Kudos! :3 And if I may say so I am very proud of scratch n' sniff porn! Hehe. Best idea I ever had, I hope nobody had that before me! If you like it I'll add so many more nice details like, hohohoho yesss ideas.
> 
> UvU* I'm so happy you read this! Thank you so much!


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